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I am so tired of teking my children into public places and when my autistic son starts to yell everyone thinks they have a right to tell him to be quiet or stop doing that. Why exactly do these people think they have a right to talk to my son at all???I went to the DMV where the police officer told my son to "Knock it off, no yelling in here" and I yelled at the officer that he was autistic and he would continue to yell and not to say anything to him. The officer seened apologigetic but then the stupid secretary at the DMV told me my children would have to sit down so I yelled "sit down" even though I knew they were not going to listen and then she told me not to yell at my kids. I told her that I would yell at my kids if I wanted to and that I did not need her telling me how to raise them. This happens everywhere I go. people always think my children are misbehaving or that I am a bad mother and they think they have the right to say whatever they want to me and my children. I get so angry with these people I just want to punch them but then I would end up in a lot of trouble. Why can't people just ignore us when we are in public?? A lot of people just want to see my children because I have so many little ones and I don't have a problem with them at all. I am a really nice person as long as you are nice to me and it seems like everytime I go out the door someone has to start a problem with me or my children. Maybe I should learn to calm down but I don't think that I should have to ignore poeple's snotty remarks or scolding my autistic children. ↓
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| Name: dianna | Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:45 PM |
| Yes, I understand. My little guy is almost 5 and he sucks his thumb, and one lady walked by and said you are too old to be doing that. And then she looks at me and says, "Mom, you ought to stop that" I bullied up the courage to look her right back and say "mam, you ought to mind your own business". She sure shut up. I don't care if people say their intentions are good, I don't think it is anybody's business to stick their nose in other people's business, especially when they don't even know what is going on. I agree, don't take it or they will continue to think they have a right to interfere. ↑ |
| Name: lifelongmom | Date: May 4th, 2007 1:50 AM |
| mtene5, hello, My daughter is autistic and mentally retarded. shes 24 years old. And very noisy when out in public. she bites herself and hits herself. my husband and I just look back and smile when people look at her. allthough one time we went to a movie, and we were close to the door, and a man on the other side of the theater called the guy that escourts people out if they are noisy, he came over to us and asked us to keep her quiet, I told him she wasnt being noisy, and she was handicapped, well the guy complained again, so I took her out, and went to talk to the manager, her wouldnt come out and talk to me, I told them to give me my money back, and to tell the manager, hes shamful for not coming out and talking to me. I went to the walmart close by and stayed there so my husband and the other two kids could watch the movie. but most of the time, I just ignore people. sometimes you just have to try to not let it get to you. ↑ |
| Name: mikeys mom | Date: May 4th, 2007 11:17 PM |
| sorry that people are sooo cruel my son is on the spectrum and sometimes I have to be very stern as well. I too get "the looks" what a bad mother, I just let it roll off my back. Good for you telling the police officer and the lady. Beth ↑ |
| Name: llpost03 | Date: May 5th, 2007 7:17 PM |
This happens all the time in the world around us. Just remember that every action gets a reaction. If your tired of the reactions, try a different approach. It's not easy being parents to any child with different needs, but as adults are child clue in on everything we do. Getting angry is something that needs to be countered with something positive. You can't change them all you can do is try and educate them. Yelling back or snapping will only cause more tention for you and everyone around not to mention your child.
I really feel that clinging to the excuse " my child is autistic" will only make it tougher down the road. A simple "he is a special child" should be the only thing if anything at all needs to be said.
I take my children out all the time. DD7, DS 3, DS 2, my 3 DS is autistic and there are times his behavior get's out of hand. People stare but only for a breif moment which I believe is due to my reaction to his behavior, if I yelled I'm sure the stares and comments would come in 10 folds..... ↑ |
| Name: Kirsty | Date: May 7th, 2007 9:29 PM |
Hi I have gone through this so many times and its so frustrating. I don't understand how people can be so rude. I was once told that the young person I was working with wasn't fit for society and my response was "and you are?” There is also a woman that cycles the same route daily and when we go for walks she will not look in our direction, hisses at us and sometimes shouts abusive language. I don’t like to use the word hate but I hate her! But I do believe bad things happen to bad people. So if no one has the decency to stop and speak to you or your children and get to know them well in my opinion they are not worth knowing. I now carry cards with me and if something happens and I don’t have time to explain I hand them a card. it’s the size of a credit card and says.
This person has autism.
Autism is a developmental disability that affects social and communication skills.
People with autism may behave in unpredictable ways as a result of their difficulty in understanding language and social situations.
Please help us by being understanding and showing tolerance.
I also said for further information go to www.autism.org.uk
I’m never really there to see the result but its something. ↑ |
| Name: angiemarie | Date: May 8th, 2007 2:18 PM |
| I don't think people will ever understand. They just automatically think that you don't know how to parent, and if they could just be in our shoes for just one second, they'd shut up. I hate the stares, and i can't believe the cop told you're child to knock it off!! I hate when other people think they can parent your child!!! ↑ |
| Name: redy2go | Date: May 13th, 2007 7:11 PM |
i have the same problem, before anyone has a chance to say anything at all I say "he is autistic" ,he can start to see it in there eyes that rude coment coming up to there lips, i cut them off. cuz these people don't understand that he can't see autisum, they wouldn't tell a little boy in a wheel chair to shut up, you know your son, you know when he is "misbehaving" he when he is just being normal. my advise, never take anyone elses dump remarks into your line of thinking when they don't know anything about anything. you know what your doing. i don't like just ignoring it because if they knew what was really going on they won't say crap like that, cut them off "he is autistic" and never appoligize EVER! he is a very speical person and so are you for being strong enough to take care of a child like him, even though sometimes you don't feel strong
(((hugs))) ↑ |
| Name: redy2go | Date: May 13th, 2007 7:16 PM |
oh and I think dianna "rock on!!!!" i like how you think
cool ↑ |
| Name: irish4 | Date: May 17th, 2007 2:11 PM |
| Hey, been there so many times went to my daughters annual concert "Sky" is only 10 she can't stop rocking and kids tease her like crazy. Well, of course as she rocked singing at the top of her voice kids where patting her on the shoulder and the chourus teacher was "hurumphing for her to stop rocking --- as if she could. I sat in the audiance alone watching and criyng thinking how much I hated people in general for the way they treated "Sky" and completed shunned her.. with girls I think it might be a bit worse because people feel ADHD and Autism stike boys more than girls or the gene is worse. I tend to go the oppisite way of not caring any more of what people think about "Sky" because they have treated her so badly since they have known her. ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: May 28th, 2007 5:05 AM |
i totally understand where you are coming from! i have an autistic son who is 7 years old, we get looks wherever we go, and we have had people rudely tell us that our child is rude, and could we please keep him quiet! i have gone through the whole anger part, and feeling like a bad mom. it is so frustrating!!!!!! but i am now at the point where i dont care,,,,,, they are judging us, and they dont know what we are going through,. i just look at them and say, :" my son has a disability, he can not control the way he behaves,,,, but you can! autism is not a tragedy! ignorance is the tragedy! i always keep my head high for my child. dont let it get to you. the most important thing, is we are there for them..... it doesnt matter what other people think! at the end of the day, we matter,,,,, other people dont,
i feel your pain. and i hope you can let it go,
another mom who knows...... ↑ |
| Name: Proudmommy | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 8:19 PM |
| I think we have all dealt with stupid peoples comments. I usually give dirty looks or sometimes I will explain to them about autism.. I once saw this shirt that cracked me up it said (I have autism what is your problem) But don't let them make you feel bad. If you feel you need to say something then say something. But remember your child has rights being handicapped, Your the mom/ protector.. I promised myself if I could help it I won't let people make him feel bad about being autistic... ↑ |
| Name: Aussie | Date: Jun 3rd, 2007 6:08 AM |
| I have an autistic son and I have had similar experiences,thankfully nobody has told him to shutup. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 9:53 PM |
| I'm sorry you have to go through this.....my son is a high functioning autistic 9 year old and because he's small for his age, he's been able to get away with some of the "baby like" behaviors without being shunned or looked at funny, HOWEVER.....now that he's older, he is so "matter of fact" about everything, that he is starting to get "the looks" and shunning from peers and also some adults outside of school. He constantly gets called "weird' by children, it hurts him soooo badly! He can come across as bosy, but it's just because he is following the rules to a perfect "T"! He thinks that's the way it is, he does everything he's told, so long as you've got his attention:) But there's nothing that hurts me more than when we are out somewhere and he starts to talk to an adult about something, that usually makes no sense to you or me, but it does to him and they just look at him cross and don't reply back. They just sometimes smile and walk away or just ignore him and keep walking. sad:( It's just something I think as mothers with autistic children are going to have to always deal with from time to time. ↑ |
| Name: lynda | Date: Jun 26th, 2007 9:31 AM |
| i know how you feel my daughter is 10 now ,and its hard but if she starts screaming i join in then we both start laughing coz she thinks im funny i dont care what people think of me or my kids coz i want want my daughter to have has much right in the outside world has the next person if people dont like it well thats up to them but life is for living and that is what my daughter is doing ↑ |
| Name: kelly1 | Date: Jun 26th, 2007 11:52 AM |
| I know what you are saying, my son is almost 3 yrs and is autistic. I have two older children i have to get to school and when going into the school grounds tommy will start yelling and getting very upset as he hates all the people and the noice. The second he starts people start telling me what i should be doing with him or what i'm doing wrong! This really upsets me and even at times makes me question what sort of mother i am, this is so unfair, what do people know? Nothing that's what! As I've got to know a few people up the school i've told them how special tommy is and now people seem to avoid us, what is wrong with people??? Stay strong everyone! x ↑ |
| Name: crystal43 | Date: Jul 7th, 2007 9:56 PM |
| I also have a son who is autistic he 9 and he is on the spectrum, i tell ya people stare ,very rude and ignorant they do not understand the child or parent or carer life style so i know what you are going through ,i also dont go out because of tantrums i wish i had friends to that come and see me and my son know one visit because the way he is and his behaviour i just know how ya feel and yes its really hard,,i have no family who help me or mother am on me own bring my son up and other son with ADHD its hard bless ya and ya not alone ↑ |
| Name: leelu | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 4:25 PM |
| there are some great t-shirts on the market with autism slogans on them. There great for when your out and about, people immediatley know the situation and are alot more tolanant. Therefor the looks and comments are greatly reduced. I know we feel we shouldnt have to resort to this sort of thing in order to get some tolerance from otheres but in my mind its not for them its for us. Life is made easier when you dont have to explain and people arnt jumping on your childs behaviour. Give a t-shirt a try see if it makes any difference to your trips out . Let me know how you get on. ↑ |
| Name: neil | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 4:14 AM |
hi my son is 7 yrs old and myself and my wife have had a few simular experiences as have been mentioned here. After a while of telling people to mind there own business and of course a few other choice words we heard from a friend who had made up cards which politely explained the situation and if they could not be constructive in there being near by than to basically BACK OFF. You find that by the time they have read your card they are for one thing bloody appologetic and it has often enough given you time to calm the situation.
you have to make sure however you word your particular card that they will think twice before interfering again .
ps i hope everyone has a better day today than yesterday and a better one still tomorrow. ↑ |
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