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I am new on this site,and I don't know if it is any answer to my question or not.
I just going to tell what happened to me last year 2004. I hope there is some information available for me and better yet someone will be able to read what I am about to say. I was happily married with a very sweet godly woman for 12 years and we have a wonderful son in january 1995. We discovered in his early age that something was not quiet right with him and we did not know at that time that he was autistic until 3 years later when finally after wrong diagnoses from doctors we learn of his condition when we move to another county. It was hard in the beginning to accept that our only precious child was autistic. We learn how to cope with it and tried all kinds of treatments like changing the diets and other therapeutic treatments. We were fortunate that our son is not the aggresive type,and that he is very affectionate and very obedient and that he recognize his parents,and know how to express his feelings. The major concern is that he is not talking although he can vocalized and he hears very well. Other than that we were happy as a family and very united until finally tragedy came to our lives. In 2003 we have the terrible news that my wife have cancer,and unfortunately her health was rapidly deteriorating and in september of 2004 she passed away while I was holding her hands. It was a terrible blow for us and at the same time we had a hurricane passing thru our county and it damage my carport. Then all of a sudden I realized that I was along as a single parent with an autistic child. On january of 2005 I moved to the Orlando area because I found an excellent school for autistic children and thanks God my son is doing great. Now,after a year and two months following and advice of a friend I decide to find a soulmate. I am missing the marriage life,and someone to loved and be loved in return. When my wife realized that she was going to die she also told me to find a good wife because she cares for me and our son very deeply,but I was not ready until now that finally after much grieving and learning to cope with reality I decide to move on with life. Unfortunately,I have not found a soulmate yet. In my church there is no one available because they all married and I even tried online dating and in the beginning the women were willing to date,they like my profile and picture,but when they learn about my son being autistic they run away from me like a plague. I tried to explain that my son is a mild autistic and a good boy but they do not even want to listen. I came to the conclusion that it is going to be very hard to find a woman that has a heart for children with special needs. Now,my question is if there is a dating site specially for single mothers and fathers with the same situation like me that want to find their soulmates. I will love to find a decent lady that has a heart for children like mine,and even if they also have children with special needs such as autism,down syndrome,aspergers,or anything like that I will work with her and help her to take care of our children with love and compassion. Of course we will have to fall in love and not only because it is convenient for our children. I am a Romantic Christian man seeking a Christian lady for a serious relationship/marriage. I have a good sense of humor,but I also have a serious side as well. I have a lot of love to offer to the right lady. I like reading,listening to classical music,I enjoy operas,good movies,traveling,camping,working out,nature,walking and holding hands with the one I love at sunset,candlelight dinners,going to church,doing beautiful things together and spent the rest of our lives together until death do us apart. Ladies if you are ready for a loving,romantic,passionat e,compassionate christia n man to come into your life and share the beautiful things that life has to offer send me a message, God bless, Jose netveloz@yahoo.com ? |
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i think you are a great person and i can relate to everything you are saying i lost my brother in 2004 and i am still greving. i also have a son that is autistic and is very simlilar to your son if you help or advice or to chat i am always online. cant help in the romantic part though. i gratefully have a a geat hubby! have a great day !hopemariepg@aol.com/tootsiemissesweegie@yahoo.com
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Good luck with your son. I am a single parent to two boys ages 10 and 11. It is not that bad and trying to find someone who understands autism after making a connection is not easy. I have had profiles up at many sites, some I talk about my kids and others I dont.
We are in Los Angeles, I have written our experiences at my site and there is a weekly chat on Sundays. Visit anytime - http://autismspectrumdisord ers.bellaonline.com Bonnie Sayers = |
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Hi Jose... :) Don't give up on finding a godly wife. With God... all good things are possible. I'm glad your son is doing well. I am married and below is the story of our son Jack. Ali
Jack's story.... After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew. Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate. What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more! Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor. Don't use supps until you research things for yourself. Cilantro for example...should possibly not be used until some other detox has been done. Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) = |
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Jose,
I just married a man who has an autistic son. We've been married 8 months now and I am loving every moment of it. God definitely brought us together, we wouldn't have meet otherwise. I don't know if this will help, but one type of woman you can be open to looking for is one who works at a children's hosptial. I love children and worked at a childrens hospital. I dealt with many autistic children, as well a children with cancer, and many many other disorders. People that deal with that daily as a choice usually have it in their heart to love those children no matter what their disorder is. My husband's son is mildly autistic as well. So when I met his son I was suprised at how well he functioned. I only dealt with severly autistic children. I had a choice to work with (or not to work with) and comfort children that have disorders that can hurt your feelings, hurt you physically, or just flat out be exhausting. If I still stayed then I sure wasn't going to leave a man I loved b/c his son was austitc. Women who work in children hospitals typically have an understanding from the beginning of the love and compassion that comes with caring for children (all shapes and sizes). If a woman can't handle the disorder it's better for you and your son that she's not the one. God Bless = |
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Hi Jose,
How are you coping? I hope that things are ok for you and your child. I dont have an autistic child but I did go out with someone who has son with special needs. I really love that boy dearly, regardless of whatever he did to me(biting, pinching). He's like a son to me & wont hesitate to spend the rest of my life with them. The thing is it ddnt work out, he did sort of find someone after more than a yr that we're together. It hurts specially the bond that i have with the kid. What am trying to say is: no matter how much you want to be with someone even if you give your life to them, if its not meant to be, it will never happen. God has given us someone to be our soulmate. We dont have to look for them, it is the fate that will bring you together. So dont worry, when the right time comes, you will meet your dream girl in an unexpected time and place. Take care and God Bless.. = |
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Hi Jose,
Wow, what a story! You are truly a wonderful man.....and any woman would be lucky to have a man so dedicated to his family. I am happily married with a 3 year old little autistic angel! Don't get me wrong, my husband is WONDERFUL and I love him with all my heart........but, I truly don't think he could do it without me. He is just not as connected......of course, I take over and do it ALL (which is no falt of his)! He would probably do better than I give him credit for. The right woman for you will come along.......maybe you should stop looking so hard! Love finds us in mysterious ways..... If you are as true as you make yourself sound.....you will find the woman who will complete yourself and your son! Hang in there! Cindy = |
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