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Name: gary5808

[ Original Post ]

My name is Gary and I have a 2 1/2 year old boy that has been diagnosed as delayed. The way things work here they just dont dont like to label kids early. He obviously is autistic and we will get that diagnosis when he's 3. He's a sweet lil guy but he's not talking. he makes sounds and has said words but thats about it. Sometimes I cry on and off for hours at a time but its getting a little longer between times when this happens. I dont know if he's high or low functioning. I tend to believe hes low fuctioning but hes still pretty little. I am devastated and have a hard time with depression. It seems unfair that other people get to have their child return smiles, say mommy and daddy and the like but I dont get those things. I realize it s ridiculous to feel its unfair or whatever but oh god it does suck. I dont want to think about how my dad never cared to be around me from birth much and I have so much love to give and always knew I did and looked forward to doing all the things with my son that my dad never did with me. But I get hammered on this end as well cuz my boy doesnt care. Unfair! My wife struggles with it but does amazingly well. She hurts I know but refuses to let it tear her down. I am not as strong as she is on this issue. This is the 1st time i have ever reached out for input from others going thru the same thing. I have totally accepted (although I am so sad about it) hes autistic but now i worry as to how severe it is. We are doing the therapies and everthing we can to help him function on as high of a level as possible but I fear he is very low fuctioning and its killing me. Any advice or comments would be welcome. ↑ ↓

Name: erachael | Date: Feb 16th, 2011 1:29 AM

Your story sounds like the begining of mine. I would have a break down about every 3 months, is what I noticed. My son is 6 years old and has made lots of improvement, but I cannot have a conversation with him. I decided that I would play at his level and since then it has been a blast. He will follow instructions but they have to be specific and one at a time. The confusion on people's faces, by our interaction, is priceless and I find this humorous.

In the begining I would cry and beg God to take my voice or eye sight just for me to hear my son say, "I love you, mommy." Now, I have found peace in just enjoying him as he is, but still pushing him for more progress. This is exactly what you would do for a "normal" child. Love them and encourage them to learn new things.

The grief will go away when you get on the floor and put your face right in front of theirs and make them giggle. Force the eye contact now by humoring them by singing, dancing, or just flat out silly behavior.

Scoop them up for and do the airplane. My son was touchy at first about physical contact but I still kept the hugs coming and now he loves being chased and tickled.

Times can be dark at first, but I don't remember the last time I wept over my sons condition. What you are going through is completely normal and will pass. My son has been a blessing and when "normal" kids interact with him I see a learning lesson going on both sides. My son has tons of friends at school. I label every child that comes up to my son as a friend.

I am focusing on building a community around my son. This has been my new mission and I still continue to encourage my son to make new developments and discoveries.

Celebrate the baby steps, encourage development, and enjoy your son as he is.
Simply put... This is my motto. ↑

Name: dolphinlover | Date: Aug 6th, 2011 5:36 PM

Dont let it tear you down. I hav a 4 year old that was the same way he never smiles. and i understand u want ur kid to be like others with the happy life but even though hes autisic doesnt mean he cant hav a happy life just love him and support him and work with him a lot I use to cry every night after everyone went to bed i though it was my fault and that i was a bad mom for letting this happen to my baby boy . and dont let the doctors push you around with your boy cause thats what they did with me ↑

Name: Edwardliu | Date: Aug 7th, 2011 11:39 AM

When he is three, he can say the word. That is great for autism. Go to TACA web site. ( talk about cure autism). Do the biomedical for him. Specially Mb12 injection. My son improves a lot from that. Try to do as much as possible when they are young. Every autism is different. Every parents has plenty of worries. "never speak, never make a sentence, never ask question, plenty of unknown meltdown, only can say I want xxx, never express his feeling, never understand other people's feeling, school, future". I never trust what the doctor talk about my son at the beginning they think he is retard. Now I am very
happy he is from low function to high function. I am sure one day
he will close to normal. I just keep going to do everything I can include studying English myself. It is very hard for us from non English background. ↑