Name: JBumgardner Title: Temper with the autistic child

My son is 4 and recently diagnosed with autism. He has behavior problems but mainly at home. He is pretty reserved when he is at his special classes 3 days a week. At home if he even hears the word no or is given instructions, he loses control. He will trash his room, throw things and even spit at me. Does anyone have any advice for his mother and I. We try to distract him with other things. We are trying VERY hard not to give in and let him do whatever he wants just to avoid a tantrum. I want to treat him as much like a normal child as I can. Any input out there??  ?

Your Name

Your Reply

 

Name: kallen • Date: 03/18/2008 15:31:51

I'm looking for advice also for my mother who adopted a boy that we now know is autistic. I do know that giving in does not work either. My mother gives in most of the time and now even trys to bribe him and/or distract him with food/toys/promises of going to the park or to the movies. He still has fits when he doesn't get his way and is becoming more violent when she does try to stand her ground. Don't give up! You are not alone:-)  =

Name: bethmarie • Date: 03/18/2008 16:19:34

hello,i have a 2 and a half year old child who is waiting an autism asessment,and i no how you feel.Beth,no matter how much you say no will just not listen and have major tantrums at everything i dont let her do.

Its so difficult to manage,at times i just pretend i havnt seen her doing what she does,as all i seem to do all day is say "no"and she never listens.

Would like to give some advice,but im struggling too!

Marie x  =

Name: BlakesMom • Date: 03/18/2008 20:44:03

Hello! I am not sure if my input will help or not.... My son was diagnosed at the young age of 18 months.....he recently turned 3. At the time of diagnosis, he was EXTREMELY self abusive - banging his head and mouth into anything and everything. He was non verbal and had no means to communicate his wants and needs. We began Early Intervention Svcs.... Occup. Therapy, Speech, Behavioral Therapy and Developmental Therapy. We soon realized that his issues revolved around sensory issues..... Simply squeezing his head very hard or squeezing his hands, spinning him very fast in a swing, calmed him tremendously. However, he began to resort to aggressive behaviors.......up to 300x daily. Finally, after trying everything we could think of.....(GF/CG Diet, a strict sensory diet, etc) we tried Risperdol (med). It is not right for every child, but has been a miracle for mine. He is now only aggressive 2-8 times per week. This is not the only thing that has helped.....Consistency when dealing with behaviors plays a MAJOR role (as with any child....not just those with autism). I would be happy to chat more in depth to you or your other respondents if you choose. I am always looking for other parents to collaborate with as NOONE understands what we go through except other parents of children with autism. Hang in there! My email is tcmerten@charter.net Sincerely, Cindy  =

Name: JBumgardner • Date: 03/18/2008 23:16:23

Thanks for the input. I also feel like all I ever say to him is no, but I also know I have to. I have gotten better at picking my battles though. He is going to mess with the TV. Why? Because he is 4. He is not scared of anything which makes for the occasional near heart attack....thats when I have to say no mostly. I have found that I can end his fits by making him laugh or asking him about something totally unrelated. Not sure how healthy that is but it works most of the time. I know raising my voice only throws gas on the fire. Spanking throws C4 on the fire. I am slowly learning to deal with the fits but what I don't understand is that he doesn't do it at his school or at the daycare. He only does it at home. Does a 4 year old have the ability to restrain his emotions until he gets home in the afternoon because he knows at home its behind closed doors?? I don't know what to make of it.  =

Name: kat26 • Date: 04/05/2008 01:27:52

hi, my son is 3 yrs old and was just diagosed mild to moderate autistic..he too has a really bad temper at times, and it doesnt matter where he is...he will throw a big tandrum.!
i've learned that when my son throws tandrums at home, just leaving him alone in his room helps him calm down faster,(at first he does throw toys in his room, while screaming and throwing a fit) but then he calms himself down....
and thats something his specialist recommended "he needs to learn to calm himself down because you wont always be there to calm him down"
my son also hates the word "no" one thing that really works for him is instead of always saying no, i use the "if and then" his specialist suggested that if i could teach him the meaning of those words things would be better for me and him...and boy was she right!
anyways, good luck with your son...  =

Name: mi brother • Date: 04/09/2008 13:25:33

first you have to realize that a 4 year old will act that way its just n there blood treat him as if hes at skool wen he does something good reward him wen he doesnt than do not instill in him that he cant have his way and make every experience a learning one also children with austim cant have thing with high fructuose corn syurup make sure limited that out of his diet  =

Name: ryans mom • Date: 04/18/2008 00:54:49

I wonder what kind of special classes these are he could go to a behvior threapist my son has gone for 3 years and it helped it took a while but it helped. Also we had to take him 5 days a week 2 hours a day and really that was mild. Also if he isen't talking then, that could be the reason for the behavior imagine how frustrating it would be not to be able to say what you wanted to.  =

Name: jojojohnson • Date: 05/10/2008 02:49:44

no matter how hard it is,,,dont give in,. they are very smart people...always demand the same behaviour... I went through years of bad tantrums,,,and when I stopped giving in, the behavious stoppedd.  =