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I have a 7 year old with ASD. I have found that the school has a hard time with understanding her and what she can't and will not do. They want to push her so that she can learn what they are doing is pushing her right into a meltdown. Most of the time it states the min she steps into the car after school. I have tried to explan to them sometimes she needsd a safe place to regroupe. They want her to learn her school work i want her to learn how to control her behavior. This issue has moreless takin over my life . I NEED HELP. What can i do to help the school understand her meltdown is due to overload not because she is a bad child. ↓
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| Name: mondo | Date: Jan 13th, 2007 7:11 PM |
Hi,
You need to find an advocate, ASD/autism specialist, the school psychologist, get a hold of as many pro-active resources and call an IEP to come together for your child and have all of "your people"(advocates) present at the IEP, together you will be able have the right people explain and speak for your child's rights as well as getting the school informed on what the real problem is and how to deal with it. Unfortunately many schools/staff do not seem to be current with Autism and its dilemmas. Get the school principal to attend the IEP as well. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: angelagarvis | Date: Jan 13th, 2007 7:55 PM |
| Thank you, what i really would like to learn is how to give the schools the tools to learn more about this. I can understand how hard it is for them to teach a child they don't understand. On the other hand they need to understand how hard it is on the child. ↑ |
| Name: gongju7 | Date: Jan 13th, 2007 9:53 PM |
| I understand your frustration. I taught middle school for 7 years and am currently teaching 4th grade. I also have my school psychologist credential in the state of California. I agree with mondo that you should call for an IEP to come up with a plan. If I was the school psychologist, I would probably suggest what is called a Behavior support plan for your child. It deals mainly with the behavior that it causing your child to be academically unsuccessful. If your school psych is decent, the plan should spell out exactly what behavior it is that you want to reduce and what behavior you want to replace it with which will help your child focus on the academics. Being a classroom teacher, I can sympathize with the teacher for not knowing exactly how to help your child. With this being said, is your child in the inclusion program with some RSP help? pull out? or SDC? If you want more detailed help, you can email me at [email protected] and maybe I can even help you get the process started and what kinds of language to use for the IEP so that by law, the school HAS to do what the IEP says. I empathize with you because I also have a son who has ASD. He's only 2 but I've been in the school system long enough to know that the parent HAS to be on top of everything. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: mondo | Date: Jan 14th, 2007 1:13 AM |
| Once you have an IEP in place with the participation of the advocates, the school HAS to comply with formulating a plan for her, suitable to her needs, this should include teaching the stafff on how to teach your child. Its all about getting together to be on the same page and to make everyone aware of the concerns and resources available to the school and your child to put together an IEP. It will happen, you just have to voice your concerns, I have been at it for 19yrs with my son (Autism) and believe me, the parents are the #1 advocates for the kids, but the more you involve specialists, etc. the more everyone learns and it gets better. Many a times I have come out from an IEP meeting feeling so grateful for the many people involved because they ar really out there (professionals who care), we just have to find them' some schools are better than others in the fact that they are looking for signs and have the resources available. Courage mon amie! ↑ |
| Name: md3boys | Date: Jan 27th, 2007 8:00 PM |
They won't understand, she can't fit into that environment! It is exactly opposite of what an ASD kid needs. Please consider home school or a small private school that will understand. She needs a small structured and loving setting that has few distractions as possible in small doses, not 5 hours at a stretch. I fought for a long time & finally realized, they can't help!
My son was a "bully magnet". He was not safe or understood, or taught in that setting. ↑ |
| Name: redi1956 | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 12:43 AM |
| I have been going through the same thing since my son started 1st gradeare you in ma?at one point I removed him from school out of frustration and I am still going to court over this ,I think the problem is the fact that the school only offers two options normal and severe the rest must fend for themselves.the only suggestion I can offer is go with your gut feeling and heart no matter what,I have gone through many situations in regards to my sons autism and I am still here and stronger and will not give up the battle,and I will win the war. ↑ |
| Name: lynda | Date: Feb 27th, 2007 6:30 PM |
| i understand were your coming from i have a 10 year old autistic daughter .who is put in a class of 32 children and she 2 cant cope because of the noise she self harms and the school have been told 2 watch her but they dont she came out of school the other day with cuts down her face coz she was so stressed she needs 1 2 1 everyone have told them but they still wont give her it so im in the same boat has u all i can say is keep fight i am ↑ |
| Name: angelagarvis | Date: Mar 2nd, 2007 9:40 PM |
| Thank you, it help to here your stories. It is so hard to understand how otheers don't get it. Her world id different then ours. Yes i want her to be social however i want her to learn how to cope with the world in a way that she feels safe, so she can find a way to let us know i am done. It's hard when my whole life seems to be this big fight for my daughters rights. I have looked into home schooling, but i am a singel mom, i am only able to work 32 hrs aweek as is because of the fact others treat her poorly. My heart just hurts for her when i see how hard thing can be for her. I know that if we can teach her the right skills she will have a life, but if we can't she's in BIG WORLD OF HURT. ↑ |
| Name: mondo | Date: Mar 4th, 2007 7:19 PM |
Angela,
Don't despair; it is indeed difficult at the beginning because there is so much at hand, but as you do what you must do for her, things will begin to fall into place and you will gain friends in the circle of Autism which leads to the support we all need, its really just as in any group of friends, disability or no disability, one finds friends of value for all ocassions of life when we are out to do "good" for others. The more you find people to help her, the more undesrstanding grows around her and you and things get easier but just like anything in life, we must care for others with love, patience and compassion everyday, just as we ourselves would want to be treated. We all have the right amount of strength within us as long as we trust in God, so please don't despair, instead, keep Hope always bright and never let it slip away....:) ↑ |
| Name: goodmommyof2 | Date: Apr 6th, 2007 2:28 AM |
| Wow I can totally relate, and while I don't know what to tell you as a way to get schools to understand your child. My son is 7 and was just diagnosed with autism and severe ADHD. The thing with the school the irratates me is they were the ones that brought these concerns to me. They wanted to have my son tested so he could get the support he needed. The problem was that was 6 months ago and they haven't done anything but cause me a headache. I ended up taking my son for testing on my own. It has only been 3 months now but the school is still the very opposite of helpful. They know what is going on and yet they push my son in ways he can not process. He walks in the door from school drops coat and backpack and melts on the floor crying and sometimes is physically aggressive. I have tried talking to them and explaining what is going on and how he is being effected by them pushing too much on him. They are not willing to offer ways to change their interaction with my son to help him. To top it all off they send home homework every night so after his meltdown is over I have to regroup him so that I can sit there and try to get him to do this stuff he doesnt understand. I am lost on how to get through to these schools that each child is different so they can not all be handled in the same manner. That sometimes the best thing for my child is to back off for awhile. He isnt a terrible child but he does need his space if you push him too far it is hard to get him back. The thing the school needs to understand is if they push our children so hard that they freak and they continue to push because they need to pay attention and learn is that after the fit has begun they aren't going to learn anything until they are done so giving them space is actually a better way to get them to learn. I know this sounds rude but as I told my sons teacher, my child isnt in special needs he is in your class room and as a teacher you should be trained to deal with all children not just the ones that come to school do their work and are little angels if you dont know how to deal with a child with autism then perhaps you should reevaluate your career choice. These teachers are going to have to learn the proper ways in dealing with these children because the only ones suffering our the children. Not just our children either if my child is pushed too far and goes into meltdown mode they are interuptting the whole class. ↑ |
| Name: FerretLady | Date: Apr 28th, 2007 2:34 AM |
Angela,
Your son needs a TSS who can have your son work for awhile then break then work again in order to complete the school day. ↑ |
| Name: alockwood | Date: May 10th, 2007 12:53 AM |
I have a daughter who is 6 almost 7 years old who has Aspergers. It has been a really hard round, because Ashley is very smart and talks very well, if you didn't know her you would think she is a normal child.
I found if you talk to the superatindent of the distric you will get something done about your child. My daughter has a room that they cleaned out and made this room just for my daughter to have some time to her self because she is over stim. You are the only person who can speek for your child, don't let them get away with it, because they sure will try.
What state do you live in? I live in Arizona, there are certin laws for every state. ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: Jun 6th, 2007 3:40 AM |
hi,
my son is 7 years old, and he has had quite a hard time in the school system. when he started school jk, they didnt even want to take him. they told me that he couldnt go there. so i called the director of special education, and the superintendant, and amazingly, they had a spot for him. he attended a regular jk class with one on one support, but his behaviour was so bad, that they cut his day to one hour. we didnt know any better, so we agreed to this. when sk came around they said he could attend for an hour and a half, at this point we had had enough, we contacted early intervention services, who helped us so much, they gave us contacts, all the info we needed, and even came to our meetings with the school board. during our meeting we came up with safety plans for him. ways to control his behaviour, and warning signs. what to do if he became aggressive, and how to deal with it. it was not the best place for him to be, but with a little bit of teeth pulling, it became a good place for him
by the time grade one came around, they gave him a spot in an autism class that was wonderful, and so many people wanted it.
we believe that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. you are your childs voice, and you have to speak for him. i know how hard it can be. i am a very non confrontational person. but because of my son, i have become very vocal...he has to get what he needs. calll anyone and everyone! dont stop until you get what you need for him! ↑ |
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