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Name: Embarrased

[ Original Post ]

I would love to give my son who's a teen a birthday party and have him invite some friends from school but I'm a really heavy person and I don't want to cause my son embarrasment due to my looks so should I just not do it at all and just stick to family? I have battled my weight all of my life and all I do is yo-yo losing some just to gain it back and then some.I won't say what I weigh but it isn't pretty or healthy for that matter.But how should I handle the birthday thing? I haven't mentioned it to my son yet but he would probably tell me no anyway......because of me.I can't blame him,I'd be embarrased of me too. ↓

Name: Kristina | Date: May 18th, 2006 4:04 AM

You're so thoughtful to want your son to have a birthday party with his friends. I don't know how you feel as I don't struggle with my weight, but I do feel for your situation. I say suggest a party to your son and see what he says. If he seems like he would want a party talk about the options and see if you could be there without being super involved. Most teens are embarrased by their parnets regardless so although you feel like your weight is a factor (and maybe it is) even if you were thin your son would still prefer you in the shadows. I will pray for you I hope some day you are able to lose and keep off the weight. Good luck. ↑

Name: Embarrased | Date: May 21st, 2006 10:19 PM

Thanks for your kindness Kristina,it means alot. ↑

Name: dont be | Date: Jun 2nd, 2006 4:36 PM

if he wants a party and you dont want to be seen the n why not let ur son go to a game arcade they have birthday rooms and he could celebrate there ↑

Name: tammie | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 2:51 PM

I am going to give a story that happend to me at my birthday party........my dad was also a heavy man....and at my birthday party he got stuck in a dining room chair and when he went to stand up he knocked the table over......at the time i was embarassed but looking back i wouldn't change it for the world because he was at my party........my dad passed away and i would give anything to have him at my party again........please don't cheat your son of having you around for as long as he can......he will regret it in the long run!!!! ↑

Name: JenCarpeDiem | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 8:00 PM

Has he ever actually expressed embarassment about your weight? My Mum was pretty big when I was a kid but I didn't care, she's my Mum, why would I? My Nan was huge and I never cared. I was embarassed about Mum because she was my parent and I didn't want her hanging around my friends, not because she was big. They all loved her anyway (which got a bit annoying.)

Give him a few options - some outdoors activities (paintballing, if old enough, or maybe swimming or a trip to an adventure centre - like rock climbing, etc, if all the kids can get parental permission for it - even go-karting) - or something else like a barbeque at home or something. Maybe even just a movie night with pizza ordered in (which I would have preferred while in my teens.)
Maybe even just a cinema trip with his friends with enough money for pizza/a restaurant afterwards? ↑