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I AM SO TIRED OF LETTING MY HUSBAND'S EX WIFE GET TO ME. MY HUSBAND SAYS SHE DOES THINGS ON PURPOSE JUST TO UPSET US. I THINK SHE WILL NEVER SEE THAT THE PEOPLE SHE HURTS THE MOST IS THE CHILDREN? THEY HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR ALOMST 7 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN IN THE PICTURE FOR 5 YEARS, AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED. THE KIDS HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO NEVER CALL ME STEP MOM OR REFER TO ME AS SUCH. SHE MOVED OUT OF STATE AFTER THEY DIVORCED I AM SURE SHE WAS HOPING HE WOULD NOT MAKE VISITATIONS. SHE HAS TOLD SO MANY LIES ABOUT MY HUSBAND AND I. SHE IS EVEN SO GOOD AT IT THAT EVEN MY HUSBANDS ONLY SISTER DOES NOT TALK TO HIM ANYMORE. THIS WEEKEND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SHE DRAGGED THE LITTLE ONE 6 ON A 2 1/2 HOURS DRIVE TO DROP OFF, WE DRIVE 2 HOURS TO THE DROP OFF ALSO. HE WAS COUGHING CONSTANTLY, HE FELT LIKE HE HAD A FEVER, HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK WELL AT ALL, HE SAID HE BEEN COMPLAINING THE ENTIRE TIME TO HIS MOM THAT HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO THROW UP. WHEN MY HUSBAND CALLED TO ASK ABOUT THE MEDICINE BUD SAID HE HAD SHE SNAPPED AND SAID IT WASNT A REQUIRED PRESCRIPTION SO SHE DIDN'T BRING IT, AND THAT SHE ASKED BUD IF HE WANTED TO TAKE SOME COUGH SYRUP AND HE SAID NO SO SHE DIDNT GIVE HIM ANY. HELLO COUGH SYRUP TASTES NASTY NO 6 YEAR OLD WANTS SOME!! SHE TOOK HIM TO THE DOCTOR YESTERDAY AND WAS TOLD THAT HE HAS THE FLU. TRUE THERE IS NO ANTIBIOTICS FOR THE THE FLU AND THAT THE MEDICINE WITH CODIENE WAS ONLY AS NEEDED FOR HIS COUGH (NOT REQUIRED--HER WORDS) BUT COME ON HE WAS SICK POOR GUY, HE DID THROW UP SEVERAL TIMES IN OUR CAR ,WE GAVE HIM SOME OTC MEDICINE THAT HELPED A LITTLE WITH HIS COUGH, BUT HONESTLY WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LET YOUR CHILD TRAVEL SO ILL? CERTAINLY ITS NOT FUN FOR US BUT MORE SO ITS MEAN TO BUD. SHE CANNOT EVEN BRING HERSELF TO CALL TO TRADE WEEKENDS BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN SO UNCOOPERATIVE ABOUT TRADING WEEKENDS IN THE PAST. WE ALL KNOW PLENTY OF REST AND FLUIDS FOR THE FLU. SO WHY NOT SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND CALL AND TRADE WEEKENDS INSTEAD OF MAKING THE EXCHANGE DRIVE? PUT YOURCHILD FIRST? WELL BECAUSE NEXT WEEKEND IS HIS BIRTHDAY AND LOW AND BEHOLD WE CANNOT EVER HAVE THEM ON THEIR BIRTHDAY WEEKEND. CRAZY THING IS WE WOULD PICK THEM UP ANOTHER TIME IF BUD HAD BIRHTDAY PLANS. THERE IS MORE...A FEW WEEKS AGO THE DR SAID A POSSIBILITY OF JJ (9YRS OLD) MAY HAVE ASTHMA, WHEN MY HUSBAND ASKED ABOUT HER INHALER AND DISC THEIR MOTHERS RESPONSE WAS THE DR DID NOT GIVE HER AN ASTHMA DIAGNOSIS (TRUE) ITS JUST ALLERY INDUCED ASTHMA...BUT JJ SAYS HER MOM SAYS SHE HAS TO USE HER DISC EVERY DAY AND THE INHALER TWICE A DAY AT SCHOOL AND THE LAST TIME SHE USED THE INHALER WAS AT SCHOOL EARLIER IN THE DAY...IF SHE DOES HAVE AN ATTACK WHO IS THE ONE THAT SUFFERS?? HER OWN DAUGHTER, JJ!! JJ SAYS HER PIANO RECITAL WAS LAST WEEKEND AND SHE GOT 2ND PLACE YEAH!! WE DIDNOT GET TO SEE HER EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS IN THE NEXT TOWN FROM US ONLY A 45 MINUTE DRIVE. HER DAD EVEN TALKED TO JJ LAST WEEKEND AND NO MENTION THAT THEY WE SO CLOSE TO US. HER DAD HAD ASKED THIER MOM SEVERAL TIMES TO GIVE HIM THE DATES, TIME AND PLACE. ONCE AGAIN SHE BLOCKS JJ FROM HAVING FULL FAMILY SUPPORT. SHE IS SO SELFISH, SHE WANTS TO SO FEEL LIKE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT IS SUPPORTING HER CHILDRENS ACTIVITIES. WE DO TRY ALTERNATE ROUTES OF INFO TOO. MY HUSBAND DID SPEAK WITH THE PIANO TEACHER WHO SAID HE WOULD LET HIM KNOW THE DETAILS ABOUT THE RECITAL, HE NEVER HEARD FROM HIM. JJ SAID THE THE TEACHER ASKED HER MOM AT ALST LESSON IF HER DAD WAS GOING AND THEIR MOM SAID OH I DONT KNOW IF HE IS GOING OR NOT.....UMMMM COULD SHE OF SAID OH I HAVENT TOLD HIM THE PLACE OR TIME THEN THE TEACHER MIGHT OF CALLED? I AM SO TIRED OF FIGHTING TO BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES IT IS SO FRUSTRATING. SO MANY LITTLE THINGS KEEP ADDING UP MAKING ME RESENT THIS PERSON MORE AND MORE. JJ CRIED WHEN SHE TOLD US ABOUT THE RECITAL BECAUSE SHE FEELS IT WAS HER FAULT WE DIDNT KNOW, I REASSURED HER THAT IT IS NEVER HER FAULT SHE IS ONLY A CHILD. EVERY VISITATION THERE IS SOMETHING, LAST TIME JJ CRIED BECAUSE HER MOM SAID TO MAKE UP A STORY AND SAY SHE WANTED TO COME HOME ON SUN INSTEAD OF MON, THEY HAD A 3 DAY WEEKEND WITH US, WHEN THE REAL REASON WAS BECAUSE THIER MOM HAD TO WORK ON MONDAY. HOW CAN SHE EXPLAIN ITS OKAY TO LIE TO DADDY...ITS GOING TO BACK FIRE EVENTUALLY THEY WILL LIE TO HER. SHE IS A HATEFUL, BITTER WOMAN WHO DOESNT GET THAT SHE IS ULTIMATELY HURTING HER OWN CHILDREN. MY BIG QUESTION IS HOW CAN I STOP LETTING HER GET TO ME?? ↓
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| Name: girli_bird | Date: Feb 3rd, 2008 12:08 AM |
| I really feel for you. Sometimes it is so hard dealing with the ex. It sounds like you have the kids best intrest in mind, but I doubt that she will ever see that. No matter what she is their mom and you are their step mom, giving you less rights. Even though from what you have told us, she doen't have the kids best intrest in mind. I don't know how thing work when the kids are with her, but can your husband and you talk to them? If you can make sure everytime you do to ask them about up coming events so you can go to them. For school events and report card contact the school and a copies of all papers sent to your house so you are informed directly and don't have to depend on her to tell you. On medication you can have a few options you can speak with her current dr so that you can have a second prescriptions for your house, or you can have a second dr. where you live. Now when you put this all in place, it will be best if you told their mom. And when you do make it sound like you are doing this for her bennifit, not becuase she she has be a ball dropper in the past. Good luck and stay srong, I know it can be hard. ↑ |
| Name: happygirl | Date: Feb 8th, 2008 12:05 AM |
| Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I think I just needed someone to hear me. Yes we have told the children to let us know of up coming events. And we email their teachers, and have copies of the report cards sent here. In the past we had a Dr. for the children here and told her about what the dr. had to say, gave her copies of info and so on, but as soon as the children returned she turned around and took them to the Dr. where she lives for what she calls a "2nd opinion" (our dr isnt as knowledgeable as hers) for strep throat??give me a break!! and so my husband would end up with more medical bills, the decree states even if it is not warranted the other parent is still responsible for their portion of the bill, our income only stretches so far, and as far as contacting the dr. she works in a medical facility and is 1st name basis w/her drs so....we went round and round with them one year trying to get copies when we were establishing drs here for them, I couldn't believe how unprofessional they were, God only knows what she has lead them to believe. After my husband threatened to get a lawyer involved they finally gave the info..its just so frustrating when he has the right to know about his own children and has to fight so hard all the time. ↑ |
| Name: maryjane4175 | Date: Feb 8th, 2008 6:03 PM |
Happygirl
I am so sorry your going through this! Soon the kids will be old enough to see what is going on, and it might just affect their relationship with their mother.
My oldest son is 16 years old and @ first he defended his father to the ground when his father would act the way you husband’s ex is acting, but then as my son got older he realized that his father was being a trouble maker and now has a lot of respect for his step-father and does actually has more in common than he does with his real father. Hang in there it will get better as they get older. ↑ |
| Name: happygirl | Date: Feb 20th, 2008 11:40 PM |
| You are right. Eventually we will be at peace knowing the children can see what is the truth for themselves and not what their mom's version of then truth is. Even Bud commented one time I think mom is mean to you dad just because she wants to make you mad and not be happy when you are with us...how sad that a little child trys to rationalize his own mom's behavior. I do believe the things she tells them to do to my husband will haunt her someday. ↑ |
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