I completely understand what your going through & your frustrations...man..do I! After almost 14 yrs. what I can tell you is...(which it's obvious you already do) just be there for the kids when you can...or are allowed. One day..they will get older and respect the fact that you didn't "stoop" to act like their mom and attempted to keep them out of the middle! They will always love their mother..no matter what..but, at the same time...see her tactics! My sk's resent the fact that their mom "kept" them from us at times...they missed out on alot of family times and vacations here. We tried is all I can say....and, today have relationships with them anyway...despite her!
As far as your dh kissing her rear....I imagine he will continue to do so for many years to come..he really is in fear of not seeing his kids. My dh did it for years....the x pretty much ran our life for a long time! One day...my dh got ill from not being able to have our weekends for our dd...(the x was always switching them up)...we could not make any plans for us...ever! He realized that tho he loved all his children...he had one at home that was suffering from her evil tactics too! He then called his kids and told them...he wasn't gonna play the game any longer...and, to call us whenever they wanted to see us! That was the day we took "our" life back. The kids did call...she still made it a nightmare...but, it was on "our" terms! I know it gets hard to support your dh when you know the x is playing everyone...and you feel he's kissing her rear....but, stand strong, he needs your support now more than ever...and, so do the kids. Your dh needs a place of security...thats in you and your home. I know I sound "preachy" here....but, again...I've lived it for a very long time..and, we're still together. (which she really hates..lol)
As far as taking your vacation...nope you def. should not have to use yours for hers! Been there...done that! I can only say after this entire post is....sometimes, some of these x's cannot move on...my dh's x is remarried and has been almost since the day we got married. Actually, she had her dh living w/her and the kids 2 weeks after my dh moved out! They won't grow up, put their kids 1st, at least my dh's x didn't! All you can do is the best you both can...live your lives, try to include the kids as much as you can....be there for them! After 14 yrs. the x still tries stupid sh*t! We just got a dental bill last week in the amount of $1700...and, we have dental insurance. Right before Christmas...(one of her yearly ploys). These days...I just laugh...call the dental office tell them not to pull this crap..how's 20 bucks a month suit you...lol ...b/c that's all your gonna get...if you do this again....we do pay an unreasonable amount of support yanno??? She makes herself sound indigent! They cannot apologize enough!
I hope after this extremely long post (lol)....some things I've said will help you out somewhere..someday! Good Luck & Best Wishes to you! ↑ |
Thanks Lory for your reply... Its soo nice to know someone else has gone through this and actually made their marriage work at the same time :) It is very encouraging to me. I just cant imagine the stuff these woman do to their kids to get back at the x. Yesterday she didnt feel like driving 1/2 way so she told her kids she was tired and if mommy drove 1/2 way she would fall asleep at the wheel, crash and die. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Her kids are only 6 and 9. She doesnt deserve to be a mother..
Thanks again :) ↑ |