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Sorry if this post is long, I really need some insight! I began dating a friend about 2 months ago who is in the process of a divorce. His ex (who began another relationship first) and I know each other. I was expecting a fight from her when I started seeing him but surprisingly she "acted" happy about it (which made me suspicious of her motive). She would say things like, "I'm so glad he's seeing you. I think you would make a great step mom to our kids (2 and 1 yrs old)." "You will be great if you can put up with his cr@p" She has always talked about him in a negative way, ie: he's a loser, bad in bed, doesn't help support his kids etc. Right now while the divorce isn't final he still pays half of their mortgage and ALL of her bills (utilities, cable, water). But according to her he doesn't do anything to help. Nothing is ever good enough for her and when he tries to talk to her they end up on a screaming match. I've sat right beside him holding his hand while he's tried to talk to her on the phone and can tell she's being completely unreasonable and always interrupting him. Nothing ever gets resolved! He waits tables so always gets paid in cash and that's how he gives her money right now. I've told him repeatedly that he has to start a paper trail of the support he's giving her so she can't make these claims. Is there such a thing as a court appointed mediator or something? I just think the less they have face to face interaction the better it will be. It's so sad because they have two kids and I wish she could just grow up and not put them in the middle and use them as punishment. He works 5 nights a week (Tuesdays and Sundays off) and used to watch the kids during the week when she would have to work and then also on Tuesday nights so she could go do something with her boyfriend but now she won't let him see them in "her" house. He is using all his money to pay her bills so he hasn't had enough to get his own place and divides his time between his moms hous (an hour away) and my apartment (which she won't allow them to come to). So it's impossible for him to see them and then she turns around and blames him for never "wanting" to see his kids and being a deadbeat dad! Now she has started on me saying that I must be so desperate to be with him and that I'm embarassing myself by having such a loser boyfriend. I just don't know how to handle it (and we've only been dating 2 months!) So I guess my question is, how can he handle taking care of his kids with as little contact with his ex as possible and not get screwed when it comes to his visitation rights? ↓
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