|
Hi, This is a long story. About three weeks ago my husband went on a trip to Phoenix for work. I didn't think anything of it because he had gone on this trip before. Last Thursday we were to leave on a trip to the St. Louis area to visit family. Wednesday night, while he was at work I was cleaning our room and found a receipt on the floor. I looked at it because I thought it was one of mine. I discovered that it was a receipt for a gas station in Illinois, dated the day he was supposed to be flying back from Phoenix. When I conronted him he confirmed that he never went to Phoenix, and that he had gone to Illinois to help a female friend paint. It turns out that this friend is someone he had feelings for seventeen years ago, but had not spoken to in seventeen years when he broke up with her, and then went on this trip, until she got in touch with his last November. He subsequently contacted her twice since then. I am devistated, he says he doesn't want to loose me or our 2 1/2 year old daughter, but he still has feeling for this woman, based on a fantasy he has created in his head over the past seventeen years. The first three days I let him have it. I've clamed down, but I can't help feeling that it's over, and that I can never trust that he wants to be with me. He saw a counselor today and wants to go one more time by himself before we go together. I don't want to end my marriage, and he says he doesn't want to either, but I also don't want to be in a marriage where he has more feelings for someone else then for me, or in a marriage where we are only togehter for our child. He said he just wanted to come home and me never find out, and we just go one like nothing ever happened. I am glad (in a way) that i found that receipt. He says there are things that we need to talk about about us, that he told his counselor today. I told him I needed to know now and we would work on it together with the counselor. We are going to talk tomorrow night when he gets home form work and after I put out daughter to bed. i don't kow what to do I feel like I'm drowning. Please help. ↓
|
|
| Name: casmom17 | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 2:22 AM |
| Oh, I'm sorry for all of the typos. I hope this makes sense. ↑ |
| Name: mskaitlynn | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 8:15 PM |
Casmom17,
What your husband is doing doesn't seem like the right thing to me..that's just me though. He should have been honest with you from the start, ecspecially if he loves you. Like you said you were going to have a discussion with him on this topic..but when you do you can't just let him have his way. If he loves you he'll stay with you and I think that's what he's saying by he doesn't want to lose you or your daughter, but he also needs to find that if he has more feelings for this ex-girlfriend then he does for you, he will lose you and your guys' daughter. I don't know if that helped or not..but maybe. =] ↑ |
| Name: bluenight | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 8:00 PM |
| you need to find away to forgive him for what he has done and he needs to cut all ties to her forever forgiving is the key to this but you will never forget ↑ |
| Name: patty | Date: Jul 14th, 2007 3:16 PM |
| Hes not going to have both of you so he needs to make a decison of who its going to be. If he stays with you it will be very difficult to trust him again. ↑ |
| Name: Carissa | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 10:37 PM |
| Casmom17, I realize that he wasn't honest with you at first, but could it be that he knew what your response would have been if he would have been honest with you? I'm not saying that you over did anything when you did respond , shock alone would justify your response, but you also have to look at things from his angle as well, he was only helping someone he knew and once had feelings for out of a situation. Guys are stupid sometimes and get themselves into bad situations without thinking things through. It doesn't mean that he had cheating on his mind when all of this unraveled. Just remember that you two may go out people may look people may offer but your the one he takes home and comes home to! Also, if you cage the bird it will only long for freedom..........Marriage is hard, noone will tell you that it's easy but without sacrifice and love there is nothing you want to call your own. ↑ |
|
|
