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Name: Bowl of Cherries

[ Original Post ]

Will someone please help me with some answers?

I have been with my b/f for 6 months. His ex wife who divorced him and left him for another man has come crawling back to him begging him to reconcile.

She has been non stop in her begging for 4 months now, regardless that he has rejected her many times.

She has backed him into a corner, threatened to take him to court to change custody and drain him financially all because he won't take her back.

This has put a huge strain on our relationship and she has made our relationship go from happy and great to miserable. I keep hanging on and have been up crying all night.

Is this just a phase? Will she ever get on with her life and quit trying to break us up and stop begging he leave me to take her back?

They have 50/50 physical custody and the kids go to school in her neighborhood, so he has to be subjected to her manipulation, control, crying fits and begging him back every day he shows up.

He has told her to stay in the house and send the kids out, but she refuses. He tells her he doesn't want to talk in front of the kids, but she still harasses him to take her back and tells him how much she has changed.

Please help. I really need some answers here. ↓

Name: pokey | Date: Dec 14th, 2009 4:38 PM

this is why I don't want to date anyone right now. I don't want my ex back but I don't want to put anyone through the same thing either if it ever comes to her doing the same thing that your going through.

If she ever does do this I will keep saying the same thing over and over. "you made this bed, if you don't like it then there is nothing I can do about it".

My wife left the same way except for now I don't know it was for another man. I got 50/50 of my daughter. I don't think it will happen that she will ever want to come back but I kind of hope it does so that I can laugh in her face. I want her to feel the same pain I did.

She came by to pick up my daughter last night and I sat on the porch so that ex wouldn't have to get out and daughter could just go get in the car. She pulled up and got out anyway.

how long were they split up for? If he met you right after then maybe you should back off and let him make his desision. ↑

Name: Bowl of Cherries | Date: Dec 17th, 2009 4:19 AM

That's what he said to... "You made your bed, now lay in it", but she is putting a gun to his head saying "take me back or I'm taking you to court to drain you financially". I recently saw in Ca., some time over this past year of a woman who divorced her husband, and the husband dressed up like Santa Claus and went and killed her, all her family and then took his own life. I can see how people start to buckle under such stress. It's just crazy... The crazy ex needs to get on with their life and would if the really l;oved and cared about the person, rather than putting that person through such pure hell!

BTW, the divorce had started 9 months before I met him, but was just final 2 months before, but he had been in another relationship and she was with the man she left him for. How could anyone ever think of taking a person like this back? And why would anyone want to be with someone who no longer loves them? ↑

Name: poke | Date: Dec 17th, 2009 3:19 PM

I really don't think he has anything to worry about with her taking him to court. If they have 50/50 and he has been doing his part. He may have to go to court but make sure he documents everytime he has had the kids and everything he has done with them. If she wants to change things just out of spite the judge will see right through her (just ask my ex). I was going FOR 50/50 of my son and if ex hadn't straighten up I would have gotten FC of him. I was telling the judge how good of a mom she was, while she was doing everything she could to beat me down. The judge looked her right in the eyes and said "you know he's going to live with his dad so I suggest you go back and figure out some kind of plan that works for both of you". "I will see you both back here in 30 days to see if you haven't worked it out". Tell him to stand his ground and not to let her intemadate him. It's time to be a man, if for nothing else for his kids. ↑

Name: Bowl of Cherries | Date: Dec 17th, 2009 6:20 PM

Thanks for the advice. :) We will see how things all play out. Only time will tell.

Thanks Pokey/ Poke. ↑