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Name: hisangel

[ Original Post ]

I wanted to get some outside feedback on a question. My husband's parenting plan says he gets 4-weeks during the summer for summer visitation. It does not state the weeks have to be consecutive or non-consecutive. My question is this: He have his X 45-days notice of his intent to exercise his 4-week summer visitation (he is only required 30-day notice). He chose NOT to use any of his time during the month of June because the youngest was in summer school. And to keep his routine as 'normal' as possible. So that left the month of July and he is taking his 4-weeks all at once. The X is saying she still gets her every-other-weekend visit..........What do you think, does she or doesn't she? In his notice to her, he stated she was welcome to call or come and visit the kids while they were with him for the summer. We only live 3 miles from her so traveling a far distance isn't an issue.....What do you think? ↓

Name: patty | Date: Jul 4th, 2007 11:30 AM

If it doesn't specify in the agreement then I would think its up to the BPs. Try to work it out and negiotate. Since its not a long distance relationship it should be easy to switch them out EOWE or EO, EOWE. The clue to negiotation is to make sure that everyone walks away from the table with with something they want. After all the two of you may decide that you want a break from the kds in that 4 week period. ↑

Name: hisangel | Date: Jul 5th, 2007 1:10 PM

I agree negoiation is always better especially when the kids are kept at the top of those negoiations which is how it should be! Trouble is he is always 'giving in' when it comes to negoiations to keep her happy and the oldes (16) is beginning to think, hmmm, Dad must not want me around that much because he always gives up time for Mom............he tried to negoiate a deal that had always worked in the past before school was out for the summer and her quote was...'the papers say 4-weeks and that's what he will get'......not a day more.............so I think we may be in for a rough ride..........thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate it! And truthfully, we love having the kids around...........we have 5 children total, and when they are away from us, part of our family is incomplete!!! ↑

Name: patty | Date: Jul 5th, 2007 1:32 PM

If the child is 16 they should be able to have a conversation about the difficulties of dealing with BM. I would say this to them, "You know that I love you and would have you over all the time, but BM is not an easy person to negiotate with so I take what I can get." At least the kd will know that its not by choice that he doesn't come over more often.
After having survived 4 sks I learned to choose my battles and let a lot of stuff go. ↑

Name: rbazin7689 | Date: Jul 21st, 2007 3:44 AM

Do you really think it's good for a kid to go that long without seeing a parent esp if they are 3 miles away?? Have a heart and think about the kid instead of trying to out wit a piece of paper. Even if she's pulling crap with you and your husband, that little kid is still a kid and must be used to seeing mom on a very regular basis. Don't make the kid all messed up. It's one thing if it's states away, but the kid will go to many of the same places (grocey store, the mall etc) that they are used to seeing with mom. That seems weird that you would even ask whether that child should see the other parent or not. Good luck. ↑

Name: Lory | Date: Jul 21st, 2007 5:31 PM

to rbazin7689...I don't honestly think she was asking whether BM could see the child. I'm reading that she was asking opinions on...if BM should see the child/children every other weekend on BD's summer visitation b/c the court order doesn't specify it. Alot of the time you HAVE to follow a piece of paper...or it can get out of hand. One or the other fights to be in control of everything. ↑