I have been married for 10 years. We have two kids and third is on the way. For the past couple years things haven't been all too good in the bedroom department. It really feels like a chore to me. He has a high sex drive and I am just to tired to bother most of the time.
I have found him years ago on the net sending a women emails about making her cum everytime. I ignored that but was always suspicous. Now I have found him again on another website trying to find a horny mate.
I did bring it up with him and he said awww its nothing cause he isn't a memeber there all he can do is sends winks and not acutally chat to the women.
But when I read his profile he told these women that he wasn't a memeber so they should find a way of contacting him. He said he only did it so i would see it and give him more attention but I think that is the biggest BS I have ever heard.
My heart tells me it is time to call it a day with our marriage but I am really torn. I really think he is looking else where and don't really want to wait until that day does come. Does anyone have any advice for me on this and please be honest. It is bothering me a great deal. its the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. ↓
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| Name: Serina | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 7:31 PM |
Do not give up so easily. Talk to him about how you feel and how the web stuff bothers you.Make sure to go to a counseler with a sucessful marriage.I know being pregnat makes you even more tired but you can let him know you care by leaving him a love note or 2 . Try and get some rest so you both can get more ...
Gos bless and good luck, ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 1:38 AM |
| I talked to him....(good advice) he said he put it there on purpose so I would find it. after a long chat we decided to try harder with each other. he has left the website in question and taken away his pic and profile that he had on there. I hope it will all work out for us. 10 years is a lot to throw away. thanks serina ↑ |
| Name: sammy | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 2:46 PM |
| she moved from my house for about 6month now ↑ |
| Name: sammy | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 2:47 PM |
| Name: sonia | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 4:35 PM |
| Jo,see a Christian counseleor. My husband and I had some similar issues in the past but we were able to work through them. I just learned in a class I am taking that people in bad marriages are no happier divorced than they were in the marriage. Moral of the story: it is worth it to try to make the marriage work. In the end you can still get a divorce if things won't work out. My mother also always tells me just ride the wave and it will pass. Usually it does. There are also some great religious web sites for people having an internet problem with porn try a google search to find them. I hear they are wonderful starting point to help the marriage get back on track. I know your pain. take care and God Bless you. ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 6th, 2006 3:49 PM |
| Thanks for all the advice, it is helping. ↑ |
| Name: bianca | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 8:31 PM |
| lets see you talk to him see what on his mind ask him if there something wrong or is everything is alright maybe he needs to be hold or something i wouldnt know about just breaking up with him for that but what would i know?? ↑ |
| Name: Serina To Jo | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 11:43 PM |
Dear JO
I am glad things are going better.I put notes in my hubbies wallet , in his lunch on the mirror.Nothing major Just something like goodmorning sexy...Ya know that kind of thing.
I put on a sexy outfit and wear it all day . That makes me feel sexyer.I think of what I or\ and we will do to & for eachother When he comes home it puts me more in the mood. I also call him at work and tell him that I want to ____ him later. Then he is exceited when he comes home.
Know one feels like making love when they are tired ot uninspired so I think if you both make an effort things might work out GREAT for both of you. Marriage is work if you fall asleep on the job you could lose it. I am not sa ying every night but atl east 1 x a week is fair and more if you can. It is part of why life is so fun.As youknow we can do alot more than jsut makelove so...that counts too
May god shine love, peace and a ton of fun to you and all of yours. ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 6:18 PM |
Nice Serina!!! Thx.
I must admit being pregnant in all this isn't helping much but I can sure try and do some of those things, I am looking forward to the baby getting here and us getting back on track.
Thx peeps. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 6:52 PM |
| Dump the guy! He will cheat on you the first chance he gets ,probably already is. Divorce him ,he isnt into you,it's other women he lusts after,you can't win trust me.Cheating on-line is just as bad as the real deal in my book.Get rid of him,you'll be better off.Find a man thats into you and the kids once you're settled in your new life without your unappreciative,disrespectful poor excuse of a husband. ↑ |
| Name: Serina To Jo | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 12:51 AM |
Dear Jo
Hope things are getting better. Please keep tabs on him ...if you know what I mean. It is hard to trust someone that has hurt you . I would try and stop by his office with luch un announced. Tell him you just wanted to do something nice for him plus it is good for the folks at work to see you in the picture.
The only time when you should call it a day is when you feel you have done everything to make it work. Then you will not feel like I could have____ or I should have____ . I realy do think folks give up to fast and do not work at the marriage.
Try and make some efforts to make a date night woth your man.
Just some thought I had just hope it helps.
Try not to worry to much about it all right now ...being pregnant is stressful enough.
Take care!
Serina ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 2:02 AM |
Well.... This week I checked his pc and sure enough he had been to another one of these sites in question. Then I found today that he had been to the site again that had caused all these problems :(
I am feeling very hurt and very inadequate as a female and a wife, as much as I would like to do the things you suggested Serina I don't feel my heart is in it. I did try earlier this week to give him something extra special but it was all one sided from me and he gave me nothing in return. Then when I read Lisa's reply I feel exactly what she is saying and that is what my instinct has been telling me from the start where he is concerned. I don't even want to argue about it with him anymore, its like I have nothing to say at this point, i feel done talking. I got to agree with you Serina I too think that people give up to easy these days and my hubby and I have been to hell and back and I have faught tooth and nail to keep us going I just can't help but think that we have come to the end of our road now, and I don't want to see either of us unhappy. I must admit though I really don't trust him anymore and I don't like the way this whole situation has made me feel as a women, mother, or wife :'( ↑ |
| Name: Serina to Jo | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 3:34 AM |
Dear Jo
My God, I am so sorry ! I know one thing for sure you are not to blame!! He is the one that is a jerk. You should not feel bad about yourself by any means. By what he has done he is a bad husband , bad father and a piece of poop!!
Keep & get all the info you can get and put it in a personal file So when you decide to tell him to get out and you wand a divorce you will have someting on him to aid you later!!
I am sorry for your pain I wish I could help you more !!
God bless and please be good to you!!!
Love Serina!! ↑ |
| Name: To Jo from Serina | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 6:18 PM |
Hope you are alright .Have you taken any action yet? ANything new ??
Just to let yuknow I have been thinking about you and wish you well ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 2:31 AM |
Hi Serina, I am still here and still thinking long and hard, wanting a bit more proof too.
but at the same time I have been trying a few of your earlier suggestions...i.e note in lunch bag ect....
I got to think hard about this one. Thx for your all your surport though its just what I need at the minute. Do you use msn or yahoo by any chance? ↑ |
| Name: Serina To Jo | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 4:47 AM |
You are quit welcome I am glad I couild help some.
Not to sound dumb but... wht do you mean by use msn or yahoo... I do not belong to any chat rooms. I just can not find any good ones. But I have not tried yahoo or msn If that is what you are referring to??
I am a step mother of a boy that is bipolar 14 and a girl 12. I have been dealing with his ex...I was trying to find a chat room that could help this is the closest I could find.But have not tried MSN or yahoo.
I am glad that you are not rushing in to anything and happy that you are looking for proof.... Ya know the wed pages he was on that can be used as proof of sorts. Keep a copy for sure... Ya know just in case.
I know it is hard to be the only one trying to make things work but he might come around But by then you might have a hottie of your own!!!
Seriously would sit down and talk this whole thing through.Let him know how it makes you feel and makes you even more inclined not to want to be involved with him.He must know he has put the marriage and family in a place that could ruin everything.And lead you all on the road to divorce.
But give you self enough time to be able to talk and not get to emotional over it. It just is not good for you or the babby. I would write down what to say and the pionts youwant to make.
Like 1) Iknoew you have been on the web again discussing sexual isses.
a) it makes me feel________
Well you get the Idea.
I have to write it down or we both get side tracked.
Some tjought for you please do not get down on youself he is an idiot. Go woth you ares and if you need to talk I am around!
I am going to bed now it is 1:00 am
So signing off . God bless you & take care iof you!!! ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 3:19 PM |
thx Serina.
When I mentioned yahoo and msn I met one on one chat, do you use the messanger that yahoo or msn provide? I thought maybe we could chat online sometime just the two of us. I have a yahoo account.... [email protected] if you use it maybe we can chat sometime. ↑ |
| Name: Serina to Jo | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 5:00 PM |
| I will look in to it and see if I can figure it out and write you back . ↑ |
| Name: Serina to jo | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 11:16 PM |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 2:54 AM |
Great! I will add u to my contacts, talk soon.
Jo ↑ |
| Name: Serina | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 1:03 PM |
| Great Chatting with you yesterday! ↑ |
| Name: Brad | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 8:47 PM |
| I can tell you I'm on the other side. If you can't find time to love your Husband what should he do? Be unhappy, because you changed your mind about how much sex should be had. It seems to me that if you new he liked to have sex when you meet, it's you that has changed-not him. ↑ |
| Name: Serina to Brad | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 9:06 PM |
| She has changed Shewas preg with 2 kids and is pregnant now did you really read what she said. Don't youthink ifd he needed more attention he should say so not do something that could hurt the marriage. ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 12:29 AM |
| You too Serina. no comment about the "male" that added his 2 cents in here. He sounds like he has been hurt. ↑ |
| Name: JO from Serina | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 1:35 AM |
| You are probably correct! ↑ |
| Name: stanley | Date: May 9th, 2006 9:37 PM |
| hey friend, your case is a heard one anyway, for in start. one of the attributes of women after marriage is to satisfy their husbands in anyway,, well as for your case am a pratitioner and i know you situation and what it cause. well it will be fine to you tell you this, remember that you have kinds and the are all growing up, learn to teach them the family life of the africans in which all luv each other no matter the state and learn to tolerate in any matter whatsoever and leave the rest for God Almigthy..As i was saying the best thing to do in this state is to pray in season and out of season. when ever you find the matter disturbing your being try and call on God to help you survive it and again try and let it not exceed your control because people's views can make you commit attrocity and by this time you will reglect. So in summary what i want you to do is to pray hard and in a good day you make your husband know that what he is doings is not in law and also note that the bible and God in particular detext divorce so don't think of it or less juts try your best till the last then God wil tell you to come out from your bondage.. Thanks and God bless you as you engarge yourself in this life dealing veageance.. [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Serina to Jo | Date: May 10th, 2006 1:24 PM |
Just checking in ...You OK?? Hope thing are getting better??
Have to go but try and talk with you later
God Bless!! ↑ |
| Name: Serina | Date: May 22nd, 2006 11:22 PM |
HI Jo
How are things going with you. I hope you are well and thing have calmed down!!
God Bless! ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: May 23rd, 2006 10:34 AM |
It something that you do when you have access to the net maybe he just typed something in to see what it bring up i know i have done it!
At the end of the day as long as he dos'ent do anything and stays true to you dont worry.
It is ok to window shop as long as you don't try on the goods. ↑ |
| Name: msdark | Date: Jun 2nd, 2006 9:06 PM |
| Well I would like to hear what more people have to say about this topic in general... Is it or is it not cheating? And what about chatting up some girl on the messanger, with a webcam and telling her things like what a turn on she is and you got a bulge in your pants, begging the girl to show some skin, would that be classed as cheating? Or would that be on the same lines as "well i could of been looking at porn". THe internet has a lot of good to it but also opened up a lot of evil. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 12:30 AM |
| ms dark,I agree! It's both a good thing AND a bad thing!! I think any time another person is involved,a LIVE person weather it's in person,on the phone,or on-line,IT"S STILL CHEATING MOST DEFINITELY!!!!! ↑ |
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