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Help..I no longer know what to do.My three year has become the ex I left...My son was once a loving child. Since my ex and I seperated almost 2yrs ago, I have witnessed my chld turn into the ex .He degrades me, tells me he doesnt like me because of my last name(its not the same as his and he believes his last name is better), He pulls fits when I explain to him that he's half daddy and half mommy. He also tells me that his father is the bigger one and I'm the littler one(he doesnt see me as an equal parent) and hes three! It's clear to me that his father is placing these thoughts in his head, after all my son says so "my dad doesn't like you, so I dont like you either ". His father and I are currently going through another court battle pertaining to custody of the children, we've had a joint custody arrangement for 1yr. After the father of my children (we also had a daughter,she's 7yrs old, and nothing like her brother) realized that I was moving on with my life, he then decided he wanted sole custody, I love my children very much, and will continue on my journey to fight for equal rights to the children....But how do I keep my marbles in the mean time? The mean verbal daily fits from my son cause me to stress out, and I find myself not enjoying my time with my son, it feels like a repeditive daily battle. What can I do???? ↓
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| Name: n.n. | Date: Jun 13th, 2006 11:12 PM |
| Let the judge know what is going on. Maybe he can let your ex know that if he doesn't stop the childish behavior and grow up and act like an adult,then maybe visitation will have to be limited with him awhile! Your son is on a bad path thanks to your ex but I think you should just keep showing your son how much you love him and also how much "fun" being with you can be too. This may help things. ↑ |
| Name: Girly 29 | Date: Jun 14th, 2006 1:41 AM |
| Thank you so much for the helpful information....I have hope again :)....I'ts very unfortunate that children have to be subjected to such an adult battle.....with being manipulated....I will continue the battle with a clear conscious knowing I'm doing my best in raising my children in a positive enviroment with no animosity....I will definitely see the web site..Thanks ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Jun 14th, 2006 12:37 PM |
| I can sympathize with you. My youngest was 4 when I went through my divorce. He would tell me the negative comments his father said about me. Yes, it hurts but I would reply back to him that those kinds of comments are not very nice and they hurt peoples feelings. Also, try focusing on him. Create more play time and make him giggle as much as you can. Plan more activities that he will remember. Tell him you love him no matter what daddy says about you. Try to have a structured routined environment and say regular with it. Eventually, he will come around. 3 is a tough age and you will notice a change in his behavior when he reaches 5. My 4 year old, who is now 7 will always talk about the good times we had when he was 4. As much as it hurts you to see him behave like this, keep your positive spirit flowing. He will see the difference. However, my 10 year old, who is now 13 has decided he wants to live with his father full time. He has created a lot of tension in my home and has brought out his anger on his siblings. Sending your son to counseling sounds like a good idea. I wished I had done so in the beginning because it might have helped my 13 year old's behavior. My 13 year old has a lot of qualities just like his father. It breaks my heart to see him go but if this is what he truly wants, then I can accept it. I feel as long as I keep letting him know I still love him eventually he might come around. He wants his unsupervised freedom which he gets a lot of with his dad. However, he worships the ground his dad walks on and I can't change it. Try your best, that's all you can do. You will know in your heart, you have done the responsible thing and your son may not see it now, but he will eventually see it. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: hana | Date: Jun 24th, 2006 3:55 PM |
my bf'z ex is doing this to his 7yr old daughter and i know itt takes the ****! she couldnt have possible chosen to do it at a worst time! im 4 1/5 months pregnant with his second/my first and all he's concerned about at the moment is his daughter and his ex... i can understand why but evrytime i ask him to focus im on me and our baby for 5 mins he goes off on one. his daughter has told us that mummy tells her im a s*ag and her daddys a pedo and its getting to the point now where i just cant do it anymore. i love him to bits and his daughters gorge (without the mothers influence) but i need him to understand im 16 and I need him right now...
any ideas... im all out ↑ |
| Name: Girly29 | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 2:06 AM |
| Wow Hana!...Yes it's very difficult to deal with. I understand your expecting, and I think your boyfriend should try harder to balance out discussions pertaining to the pregnancy and his daughter...including the ex! Although I believe your boyfriend has to deal with his ex wife brain washing this innocent little girl now...He needs to be there for you too...I'm not sure where you live, but from where I'm from theirs family services and they take care of this kind of situation, The ex is mentally and emotionally abusing this little girl, and if the mother can't be there as a mature parent for her daughter then she really doesnt deserve her. Talk to your step daughter and tell her you love her, dont react to the hurtful things she may say (because its not from her, its her mother's manipulation), Tell her sometimes adults say things they dont mean when their angry. Talk in a positive manner when she talks about her mom. Make it look as though you like her mom....even tho you cant stand the things shes doing...Give her extra love and have good times with her when you do have her. I realize your 16 and this is young...(not trying to be rude) But wow....I'm 29 and at 16 you still have alot to learn, I'm saying this from experience. Try to tough it out, this situation could change(with the ex being a dummy)...Do you have any other support, your parents, sybilings, or friends. I went through my last pregnancy alone(had my ex there but didnt want to hear about my pregnancy)...It's a awful feeling and my concern steams from your age....You need SUPPORT!!!! Your probably scared, I was freaked out with my first.....So my advice to you is your boyfriend needs to balance out his stuff, and be there for you. Take care Hana.....I wish you all the best for you and your family. ↑ |
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