Like there saying there lot of fishes in the sea....and go dive in the sea and looking for new fishes that can take care for you and your baby and not your no good boyfriends. Shoot I been there and I know how you feel abt it.....
So anybody agree with me or not? Hmmm ↑ |
| How old are you and how old is he? I would suggest you sit him down and give him an altimatum. Either he gets a job and gets it together or he can pack his bags and get out. I know it might seem like a harsh thing to say to him but he seems like he needs a wake up call. But you have to be stern and act stubborn so he doesn't think you are playing and he can continue getting over on you. You have to worry about your baby and ur well being. I am pretty sure your mom will back you up. Good luck and let us know how it goes... ↑ |
| I'm 23 and he is 25. I did get brave enough to tell him to leave but then I said no don't leave. He seems to be acting ok right now but that might change. I just don't know how to talk to him without him thinking I am bitching. So how you suppose to do that? ↑ |
| Sadly enough if you aren't stern with him and stick to ur word... he already seems to know that u will back down and in the sense he feels he has u wrapped around his finger, sorta say. To guys when they know they are in the wrong or it is something they dont want to hear.. it's called bitchin'. You guys are both adults and u have to put ur feelings aside and be stubborn and just tell him once. You have this amount of time to do this... or else this will happen... (tell him what u expect and how long he has to accomplish it and if he doesn't the consequences.) And give him that chance to do it. Once u tell him and he understands .. let him do what he wants. When the time is up and he hasn't done what he said he would, be stern and apply the consequences even if it hurts u to do it. He needs to understand that he doesnt have u wrapped around his finger and that u can manage without him. To guys it's all about perception and being in control. He probably feels he has the upper hand here and that no matter what he does u will just deal with it and just bitch.. You need to show action behind ur words. ↑ |
Also here is this... when u come at him with something u dont like... what do u normally say? Do you say... You don't do this or u always do that?... pretty much using the "you" word?
A better strategy so he doesnt feel like u are always attacking him... Say, when this happens, I feel. You arent directly blaming him but u are putting it out there that his action affects u or hurts u in some way. he cant feel attacked bc u arent coming at him directly. Does that make sense? ↑ |
| Sadly, the truth hurts.. your guy is not reacting to what you are saying to him, but to the way he feels. It sounds to me that he doesn't know how to express his feelings and that he is probably ashamed of what's going on with him. I think that he knows what he needs to do, but the more you tell him, the more he resists you... it's like telling a kid not to touch something... the minute you turn your back.. they are touching it. Same thing... or telling a smoker to quit smoking... it compells them to smoke more. I don't know the reason behind it, but I know that you are probably not b****ing, but he's using that as a defense mechanism. I don't know either of you, so I can't give you approach advice. You should know him well enough to know how to talk to him without making him feel insecure. If I'm totally wrong and he's just a jerk, then leave the butthead. :) ↑ |
| My husband went through the same stage when we were just bf & gf...he pulled out of it but I just kept on him about finding a job...we wouldnt even do the housework while he was at home he would just sleep all day and when I got home from work I had to do housework and etc. I finally got my family involved and they straightened him out...even though it was none of their business. So First time mommy....just keep on him he has to make the decision to work on his own...you cant make it for him ↑ |
| Why does it not matter what you say to a man? ↑ |
