I posted this in the singles...but i just dont seem to be getting any advice ..and i was hoping some of you in here would be able to help
So im 32 weeks now....and im getting closer..obviously im going to be a single mum..but how do you single parents cope seriously?
When i was younger i told myself i never wanted kids, i was too immature and selfish. And the fact im really not going to have any emotional support...all my friends around my age dont care..the father and i broke up after we found out i was pregnant...( we are in 2 completely differnt countries)
How do i explain to my son that he doesnt have a father? or that the dropkick just doesnt care..thats what really hurts the most..not that i wont have anyone...just him having to grow up without a dad.
People tell me, oh yea dont worry you will meet someone later on...well honestly its not the same and i doubt i ever will...ugh! i made a mess of things..if i could go back i would change so much :( ↓
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| Name: simmonds-amanda | Date: Nov 8th, 2006 11:07 PM |
I am sure that you will be fine.
The rush of love that you get for your baby will be unreal. ↑ |
| Name: staceykelley | Date: Nov 8th, 2006 11:30 PM |
| i too was a single parent and with the way things are going i will probably end up that way again. all u have to do is love that child love that child so much and always be honest with that child. at least your baby will have one parent that loves and cares for that child. its hard yes being a single parent but once that baby is born u will be so suprised on how much strength u will have its gonna be fine its not a loss its a very special gain and u will see that when u hold that child in your arms good luck to u best wishes ↑ |
| Name: mommy2bagain | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 3:23 AM |
| Let me start off by saying, I am a single mom of a 5 yo son. I am about to have another baby from my boyfriend who I lived with and we were engaged and I recently found out he was cheating on me for the second time. And I had heard that he has another baby due in Texas in Dec. I left him and now I am going to be a single mom again!! I am so afraid. Trust me if I can do it you can to. I also have really no friends that care at all, they have their own life now. It is hard as hell but very rewarding as well. He begs me everyday to go back with him. I refuse because I don't want to be cheated on again ;( I hope this answers youo'r question... ↑ |
| Name: renamommy | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 3:28 AM |
| I don't know what it is like to be a single parent. My daughter is due Dec. 27th and I am happily married. Most days :). My sister has a one year old daughter and she is a single parent. She has done an amazing job, and I know it's hard for her alot of times, but she has very supportive and loving family and friends. I think the love for her daughter gets her through it and makes her work even harder. ↑ |
| Name: daisyusa | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 5:06 AM |
| I was a single parent as well, until my son turned 9. My best advice is to pour your heart and soul into being the best mommy you can be. You will meet someone, when the time is right. But in all honesty, this is a perfect situation for you to bond with your baby and bring him up in a loving home, no one to second guess you. Your attention should be focused on your baby and not a new relationship, enjoy this time, you can never get it back. You'll do great and your baby will be happy. I've been married now for almost 4 years and we just had a baby last year and it has been a completely different situation. I love every moment of raising Ethanael with my dh, but there are times when I wished it was just me and my baby, sometimes we have a difference of opinion on raising our children. Don't get me wrong, I love my hubby with all my heart, but I do miss those days. And when you do meet the right man, there will be no step father or step child, because that man will love your child as his own and if you ever have questions about that then step back and re-evaluate the relationship, it's no longer all about you. One last thing, no matter how irresponsible the baby's real father is, never talk bad about him to your child. You're child will have questions later, mine did. I just explained that we were both young headed in opposite directions and sometimes we make choices we're not happy about and I know that leaving you is one of them. I truly hope that he never wants to find his father, but I won't stop him. I'm sorry if this is too long, but not an easy subject. I wish you all the best. ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 9:46 AM |
thankyou so much i really apprieacte what you said daisyusa. I just feel so dam guilty he wont have a dad and it just distresses me so much, when he gets older and its fathers day and things like that :(
Because if the situation was differnt and i was actually living in america we wouldnt of spilt up...the father was a decent person..i'm just so dissapointed that its turned out this way, not so much for me but my little man. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 1:44 PM |
| I know how you are feeling. I was a single parent until I was married just this april. My son is 9yrs old. He has never seen or heard form his bio father. My only advice is to be strong and loving. You have to set strict ground rules, because there is no one there to back you up when the child is misbehaving so being firm form day one is a MUST. I used to get a lot of crap about it from my family that I was too strict, but now my son is a perfectly well behaved little man and he always has been and their kids run wild. Also share quality time with your child. Let them know that they are very important. when questions about a dad come up (usually around pre-school time) just say that he was not ready to be a father and that he is really missing out. I always tried not to bash him and let my son know that it was in no way his fault. Finally I never introduced my so to my boyfriends. the only man tha tmy son has met is my husband. I was always very afraid that he would become attached and then the relationship did not work out. This actually ended up working out well for me. I dated around, but I never got caught up in a relationship tha tI knew was going no where. I can tell you that it is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have. Try not to worry to much life is jsut one big routine and when the baby comes you will adjust your routine and it will all fall into place. ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 4:26 PM |
| It is not easy but who said parenting was right! I was married and divorced when my little one was only like 7months old. So here I was 2 young kids... 24 years old and lost. but I made it. It isnt easy and somedays you feel like you have completely lost it... then one day you meet someone great... who loves you...AND YOUR CHILDREN and you remember that there is a reason for that break up even if it does suck. ↑ |
| Name: nicola87 | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 4:33 PM |
| i grew up with out my dad and my mum is my best friend.... to be honest my personal opinion you'll prob b best off bringin her baby up by urself coz you'll b doin it ur way and wont av to explain yourself. When it comes down to his dad jst tel the baby the truth from the start bcoz wen e's older e can never blame you for nefink coz you were straight with him fromt he start dats one thing i was grateful for. And you will find some one aslong as you dnt let ur baby take over the whole of your life you must still av ur life dats one thing i regret. I was too protective over my mum and i didnt want to share her but i regret it big time now.. hope its helpd u sorry if it aint xxx good luck hun ↑ |
| Name: babygirl2007 | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 4:38 PM |
| I know exactly how you feel I am 30 weeks pg and I have a 4yr old son and and me and my BF broke up after being together for 5 yrs. I am dealing with it but whats important is that I make sure my son is taken care of and when my little girl comes I will do the same. My biggest concern was the fact that I moved so far away from my family, but I will get through it as you will, but good luck I know you will be a great mother to your child no matter what happens. As long as your child knows you love him thats all that matters. ↑ |
| Name: MVSavant | Date: Nov 9th, 2006 4:52 PM |
YOU CAN'T GO BACK, YOU CAN ONLY GO FORWARD.
NEVER TELL YOUR CHILD ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT IT'S FATHER. (IF MY DAD IS BAD, THAT MEANS I'M BAD, BECAUSE I'M PART HIM)
GIVE YOUR CHILD ALL THE LOVE & SUPPORT YOU CAN. GET YOURSELF INTO COUNSELING BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN TO HELP WITH YOUR ISSUES. SO THEY DON'T BECOME YOUR CHILDS. ↑ |
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