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Ok so.. I have been with my fiance for a couple of years now. 5ish to be more general. Hes a great guy, sweet caring. I don't deserve him really. Hes not the best looking man out there, and he tends not to give me any attention until he wants something. However we have been together since i was 16. So its what I am comfortable with. Well a couple of weeks back, I cheated on him, with a guy I met. This new guy and I used protection.. except for this one time which only lasted 3 or so minutes cause I was too nervous to continue w/o any cover on. Now I am late for my period by about a week or so. Im pretty regular. However I just recently lost my job, and the stress of knowing I cheated on my fiance has been piling up. Now there is a chance I may be pregnant. I had sex with both of them around the same time. My fiance and I never use protection, but we never had in the last 5 years soo its never really been an issue. Now I am against abortion. However in this situation... I dont want to lose my fiance and I told him if I am pregnant (which he thinks its by him) I want to abort it cause Im not ready. (when truthfully its because of the chance it may not be his). I dont want to hurt him and I know I will 100% lose him if he find out... the other guy was just a fling. Ive never been with another man besides my fiance and I was bored and felt unwanted..so I took the chance and had a fling. Now I may be paying for it in the worse way. I may have to get an abortion... truthfully I dont what what I should do. Any advice would help. Thanks in advance. ↓
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| Name: Jessica | Date: Dec 12th, 2005 1:46 PM |
| I think you need to go to the doctor before you do anything else. Do you really love your fiance? I'm not trying to sound mean but I think you should tell your fiance. I understand how you feel, I had a pregnancy scare just last week and I was considering abortion. You have options, you just have to choose one. I know it is easier said than done but, just talk to your fiance. I hope everything goes OK. ↑ |
| Name: lily | Date: Dec 12th, 2005 5:46 PM |
| whether the baby is your boyfriends or your flings it doesnt matter. the fact is that the baby is yours. should your baby have to die because you arent certain who the daddy is. if you are a week late and are in fact pregnant, you would officially be 5 weeks, as they go by the first day of your last period. i saw my babys tiny heartbeat on the ultrasound machine at 7 weeks. my hope is that you find out right away if you are indeed pregnant and if your are going to have an abortion, do it immediatly. go on a site that says "abortion photos" you will see that waiting even a few weeks takes the life of, not a group of cells, but a tiny formed body. first find out if you are pregnant before you go dumping your fiance. and if you are, i think you should tell him. if you knew for a fact it was your fiances baby, would you abort it? you would not know unless you have it because as far as i know, they cannot do paternity tests until after the babys birth. they arent going to risk taking blood from the baby in utero just to see who daddy is. good luck ↑ |
| Name: --- | Date: Dec 12th, 2005 5:51 PM |
| I dont think you should get a abortion...you could really harm yourself and your fiance could still find out...i think you should have the baby if you are pregnant...you said you and your fiance never use protection so there is a greater chance its his if you only had protected sex once with this other guy....i dont think you should have a abortion i think you should talk to your fiance ↑ |
| Name: Tan | Date: Dec 12th, 2005 6:19 PM |
| I think u should break up with your bf it doesn't sound like you love him and you life is to short to be wasting it. I was in a long relationship with a highschool guy as well (4years) I ended up cheating on him then i feel in love with they guy i cheated on him with and I broke up with him; it was the best think i have ever done in my life. Now we are married and expecting our first child. Before i felt like my life was going noware untill i met my husband. follow your heard and if you are pregnant be strong a baby is a gift and you should not get rid of it. ↑ |
| Name: Martha | Date: Dec 12th, 2005 10:26 PM |
| I think I understand what you are going through. I've been in the same situation as you once and had to get an abortion aslo. I have a feeling the boyfriend knew that it might of not been his. You say you just lost your job? Have you ever thought of your period being late because of the fact that your stressed out. When you have a lot of stress sometime it causes for you period to be late. And because you think you might be pregnant might be delaying it even more. Also if you think about it to must you will also start to develope symtons of pregnancy. Just relax and take things off your mind. DON"T TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND THAT YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT BY ANOTHER MAN. Trust me it will only make you stress about things even more plus if you decide to not keep the baby you will have him around to support you when you might need it not to mention to pay for half. Stay calm relax and don't stress to much over it. What ever happens just remember it will be okay. ↑ |
| Name: bad advice | Date: Dec 15th, 2005 7:22 PM |
| great suggestion martha, lie to the bf that he might be the father and then have him pay for half of her abortion. great advice. you need to own up to what you did Cindy tell him you cheated and it may not be his. he deserves to know the tryuth not be lead to beleive hes the dad when ha may not be. I cant imagine being that deceitful martha to have this poor guy pay for the abortion. wow. morals anyone? ↑ |
| Name: ashley j | Date: Dec 15th, 2005 8:04 PM |
| i totally agree with BAD ADVICE!! ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 4:54 AM |
| you have to tell him. i know how it feels. i didnt CHEAT on my fiance, we broke up for about a week...and i did the wrong thing.. your right...they are great guys, why we did it...clueless. im 8 months prego and confused! i got pregnant in May, thats the month we broke up. i dont know what to think, but since i told my fiance, he wont accept anything but that this baby IS his and that WE are an item. you just have to get through and past all of it and really look on working on things. its hard at times, but sometimes you cant help but to be strong. good luck. ↑ |
| Name: Come On Cindy | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 5:04 AM |
| OK...so you have a fiance...and have been with him forever!!! Well, I think that if you turn out to be pregnant, you need to tell him. Take the resposibility! You are the one who cheated and you are the one who needs to tell him. You think you are stressed out now---Think about it...You get married....there will ALWAYS be that stress there and you guys could never really have a full relationship. Not only that! It ISN'T fair to HIM....I don't really care if he doesn't pay that much attention to you---then there is a reason for you to cheat on him. You say you love him--yet, you can cheat on him..... I just think that you need to own up to the resposibility and tell him! You cheated on him for a reason. It is called--"you not happy" that should tell you something! ↑ |
| Name: OK | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 7:49 AM |
| Give it up for adoption. Why should a baby suffer for your irresponsibility. Abortion can lead to you never having kids again. Don't be selfish (I guess it might be to late for that) and be honest with the man that takes care of you. A relationship is a two way road and requires everyone in it to be honest, if you were feeling lonely you should have planned something romantic and talk to you man about you feelings. Work at what you want. Abortion is not the answer. ↑ |
| Name: simon12c | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 12:50 PM |
| Hang on a minute. Cindy has only said that she MIGHT be pregnant. Before everyone ont his forum offers Cindy their moral tutelage regarding abortion, don't you think it would be prudent Cindy, to take a home pregnancy test and find out for sure whether you are or are not pregnant? If you are pregnant, you can decide which path to follow. There is no right or wrong answer to your question. ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 1:52 PM |
| omg...please people! why would her baby suffer? its not like women out there dont have babies by men and know who the father is, yet are remarried or with another man. i dont get yall. just because he MAY NOT be the father doesnt mean that the kid is going to suffer...i know shell have to tell him sooner or later. its your concinse...and nothing compares with that. i agree she needs to tell him. cindy, you cant be certain that your going to lose him...hell be mad, disappointed and ashamed in you but you did it yourself. i have to look to that almost everyday, wondering whats going to happen when my baby comes out but we love each other and respect eachother enough to not bring it up and look past it for the time being..it makes no sense to argue now, babys not even here. i dont know...i would never get an abortion tho...i cant believe you even feel that way about your baby bcuz of what you and your fiance are going thro. no matter how much it hurt and how much i dont want to hurt my fiance, what happened happened but my baby is mine. ↑ |
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