To all the teenage mothers-to-be/mothers out there who must have been offended by her awful post.
I think teenagers looking to adopt do well by looking at Annie's ridiculous post in a way.
Take the opportunity to mother NOW, because if you don't, 10-15 years down the line you may find yourself unable to conceive and end up on the Adoption Board sounding just as desperate as Annie. I'd bet my right arm that all those on the adoption board who can't conceive now wished to God they would have been a teenage mother, because at least they would have been a mother, which is better than not being a mother at all.
So take the opportunity to mother your baby. You may never get another chance. ↓
|
|
| Name: lendingadvice2u | Date: Nov 12th, 2007 6:29 PM |
But if they can not conceive now what makes you think they could back when they were younger. Mabye they thought to them selfs that they were too young and could not properly give their baby a good home or 2 loving parents, a good source of income, insurance., love, patients and the list could go on and on. They also thought that their education was important and didnt want children till they were done with their education and not have to worry about comming home taking care of a baby and doing home work. I mean come on how does it look when a Father or Mother push their children to do good in school and make good grades when they know in their heart they either didnt do good or dropped out because of having a child too young. My Father dropped out in 10 grade but not to take care of a child he had while he was still in school but to get a job because his dad got sick and passed and him and his brother were the only ones that would be able to work and provide for their family. So when my parents pushed me I did good because having a education is very important to them and education is hard if you have to many distractions. I look at my dad and he has had the same job since he was 17 and can not leave this job because he is not a high school graduate. He has been at this job for 40 years and all in all he has had many promotions and had a good job title but this is not the job he wanted for the rest of his life.
Now I am not saying what Annie wrote in her post is right, hell no it was wrong and rude. A mother is a mother for a reason, God will give you the gift when he either knows you are ready or to me kind of a lesson. My cousin had her first at 14 and I tell you what she is a damn good mother but having a baby taught her a lesson and not to be going out having unprotected sex and not being responsible. She didnt have sex again till she got with her current fiancee that adores her and her daughter. God also gave the gift to alot women to give that gift to someone God did not give that gift to. I hope that makes sense.
Anyway all i am trying to say is these women that want to adopt probably didnt know they would be faced with this when they got older and I applaude all the people that want to adopt because its their calling to want the children someone else didnt want.
But Briseis you are right, I have read alot on this forum and everyone in this forum want their children and for her to come on here and say that to responsible mothers that want their children she was way out of line. But also please dont act like everyone should be having children while they are teenagers because of the risk of not having children 10-15 years down the road. This would lead to too many children being raised by grandparents and also the child growing up without a father. Not all cases but alot of cases this would happen. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Nov 12th, 2007 9:15 PM |
It's true that there is a possibility that they could not have conceived when they were younger. But it's also a blatant fact that many couples leave bearing children far too late into their lives, and then are baffled when they can't conceive. It's common knowledge that as a woman gets older, she becomes less and less fertile. We are most fertile in our early twenties.
I am aware that it is best for a child to be raised by 2 parents, good income, family home etc. But that wasn't the point I was trying to make.
I am convinced that people looking to adopt didn't realise this. I was adopted myself, and my adopted mother and father didn't realise they would face infertility.
I'm just saying that if they had known, they'd probably have grasped the idea of having children why they POTENTIALLY had the chance. ↑ |
| Name: lendingadvice2u | Date: Nov 12th, 2007 10:28 PM |
I understand, but some people believe in waiting to fufill their life before fufilling a babys. They believe in getting all their party times, school and traveling time behind them before having children. I know my parents did and believe me when you have your priorities straight and you have goals you want to reach before having a family you dont think of having children or even really talk about children till you are married and settled. My parents started dating young and got married at the age of Dad -23 and Mom - 20. My dad had a job and my mom went to school while living in a trailer house and making ends meet. They knew when they got their lives on track and pay off at least half of the $4000 trailer home they lived in they would start trying for children. Well the time came and they started trying 1 1/2 years later. Well to make a long story short they couldnt have children and started the adoption process. 3 years after getting their life together and prepared for adoptive children they were ready and boom they got my brother after 2 months of waiting. 2 years later I joined the family and our family was complete.
What I am trying to say is that it dosent matter what age you are, you either wait or you dont and only god knows who he gave that gift to and I believe if you can not conceive at age 35 chances you are not going to be able to conceive at the 15 - 34. But I could be wrong. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Nov 13th, 2007 10:56 AM |
I know that. I got my degree first, my job, my first home bought, engaged to my fiancé, all before having a baby. I'm 24, with a 9-week-old son. I didn't want to be a teenage mom so I use contraception, and only came off it when Mark and I decided the time was right for a baby. I could have waited another 10 years and then tried but my chances would have been much much lower. I think you're missing the point I'm trying to make.
I think you are wrong. Your chances of conceiving past the age of 35 are very low, and there is a 40% chance of miscarriage even if you do conceive. We are most fertile in our early 20s. This is science. This is fact. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Nov 13th, 2007 11:15 AM |
Here's some education on female fertility.
Women's fertility peaks around the age of 23-24, and often deteriorates after 30. Of women trying to get pregnant, without using fertility drugs or in vitro fertilization:
At age 30, 75% will get pregnant within one year, and 91% within four years.
At age 35, 66% will get pregnant within one year, and 84% within four years.
At age 40, 44% will get pregnant within one year, and 64% within four years.[2]
The above figures are for pregnancies ending in a live birth and take into account the increasing rates of miscarriage in the ageing population. According to the March of Dimes, "about 9 percent of recognised pregnancies for women aged 20 to 24 ended in miscarriage. The risk rose to about 20 percent at age 35 to 39, and more than 50 percent by age 42".[ ↑ |
| Name: lendingadvice2u | Date: Nov 13th, 2007 4:39 PM |
|
|
