] Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
] A: No, 35 children is enough.
]
] Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
] A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
]
] Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
] A: Childbirth.
]
] Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
] borderline irrational.
] A: So what's your question?
]
] Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
] pressure. Is she right?
] A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
]
] Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
] A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
]
] Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
] in labor?
] A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.
]
] Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
] A: Yes, pregnancy.
]
] Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
] A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
]
] Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
] normal again?
] A: When the kids are in college.
]
] 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'
]
] 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'
]
] 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
] 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
] 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
] 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
] 5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that
] says: 'How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.
] 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
] 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
] 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
] 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
]
] TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
] 10. Cats' facial expressions.
] 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
] 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
] 7. Fat clothes.
] 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
] 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
] 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
] 3. Eyelash curlers.
] 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
]
] AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
]
] 1. OTHER WOMEN ↓
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