|
Hi all! I haven't been on this site in awhile, but I'm having a rough day. I just found out that a good friend of mine is 11 weeks pregnant. This should be exciting news, but I can't help but feel disappointed, jealous, and upset. I miscarried in August at 13 weeks and after trying for 8 months to get pregnant. After letting my body heal and getting the go ahead from my doctor, my husband and I have been trying again for a couple of months. While my body is healed, it's still so hard to see other women pregnant and to know that my previous due date of February is approaching. I'm 32 years old and have been hoping for a brother or sister for my soon to be 3 year old. If you have been throught this, please let me know. I feel horrible for feeling this way. ↓
|
|
| Name: mychild | Date: Nov 15th, 2007 8:39 AM |
I know exactly what you are going through. I too lost a baby well into my pregnancy last year. At the same time, I found out that 2 of my relatives were pregnant at the same time that I was healing. I was difficult for me but I also had to be supportive. I knew that I couldn't blame them for their pregnancies and it wasn't their fault. So I was supportive and shared their joy as they and I never let them know I was hurt. Remember, they didn't go out and get pregnant just to upset you. Your feelings are natural but remember it's also natural for your friend to want to share her pregnancy. She'll probably hold back a bit with you, but when she does, just be there and offer your support to her as well.
As time goes by, you do heal. You'll have some milestones to get through and those will be tough. I made a scrapbook of everything I had from my baby and that has helped. I'm so sorry you lost your baby and hope that you find you are pregnant very soon. ↑ |
| Name: summadaiz | Date: Nov 15th, 2007 4:37 PM |
| Me and a good friend had due dates about 2-3 weeks apart. I miscarried and she had my neice the day after my original due date... It was very hard for me. During her pregnancy I hardly talked to her because it just hurt so bad, but once my neice was born I couldn't feel that way anymore. I love her so much. I have had two miscarriges and couldn't understand why all of my friends (who I felt undeserving and irresponsible) were having healthy pregnancies and babies... I know how you feel and it is just so hard. I wish you luck and send baby dust your way! Keep trying and don't stress out! ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 15th, 2007 6:07 PM |
| We're pregnant / Friend miscarried ↑ |
| Name: Heather F. | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 1:49 PM |
Thank you mychild and summadaiz. It really helped to hear from someone else. My friend has been rather distant from me lately and probably didn't know how to tell me . . .in fact she emailed me . . .which was probably easier for me because I didn't have to hide my emotions in front of her. I am happy for her but just knowing or seeing someone pregnant makes me think, "why not me." She wrote in her email that, "it's been a journey." It took them 6 months to get pregnant. That comment seemed somewhat insensitive to me (although I know she didn't mean for it to be). My husband and I have been trying for over a year and had our hopes dashed with miscarriage (it's amazing how quickly you get comfortable with the idea that your having a baby). Anyway, it's also been a difficult week because it's been 16 days since I last ovulated and so far nothing but negative pregnancy tests.
summadaiz, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how painful the constant reminder must have been. I know that as soon as I saw the ultrasound and found out that I miscarried all I could think was, "I want to be pregnant again." The same thought happens everytime I see someone else pregnant.
Thank you again ladies and zoey9810, the best thing that anyone said to me after my miscarriage was my father who simply listened to me cry and said, "I'm so sorry, I know how badly you wanted this baby." Steer clear of comments like, "It wasn't meant to be" and best of luck to you with your pregnancy. ↑ |
| Name: kimber | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 3:02 PM |
| First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I have never had to go through this but both my sisters have. My youngest sister just had a miscarriage two months ago. I know it must be hard on her and it was her first baby. Now I am only five weeks and scared to death the same will happen to me. Although this is suppose to be an exciting time for my husband and I, I feel bad about what has happened to my sister. I haven't told anyone except my husband and I am not sure when I will, due to the circumstances. I don't want any bad feelings toward me so I think this time I will wait as long as I can before anyone knows. Again I am sorry for your loss, but being on the other side, it is hard too. I am 35 yrs. old, I too went through several years of infertility, and it has been a long road. Just pray about it and it will happen again. Time does heal all wounds. Keep up the faith. ↑ |
|
|
