|
I know this is kind of off topic but it does somewhat have to do with me being pregnant....Ever since Ive become pregnant it seems like my husband has all these new things that he wants to get, like whenever we go shopping and I get stuff for the baby he always wants new shoes, or a new cd, and recently its turned into he wants a truck to demo,and tonight he came home saying he wants to buy a couple 4 wheelers! Im getting so frustrated because I have to do the bills because Im the "smart" one on all that kind of stuff but than when I have to put my foot down and say no, we're having a baby we can't afford to buy these nice toys for us or you he gets angry acting like we do have the money, just like hes a little kid himself! Im wondering if any of you have been through this and if you have any ideas on how I can explain to him that babys cost money and we need to put the baby first, its almost like everything is my responsibility, the baby, the finances plus Im a full time college student with a part time job! How can I get him to take more responsibility so I dont have a meltdown??? thank you for your time. ↓
|
|
| Name: Aharris | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 1:54 PM |
| It is something that you need to worry about. I am in the same situation as you are. It seems like now he wants to buy everything without even thinking about the baby. Every time he wants to get something i tell him to think about the things that his child is going to need. I am like you, i like order and some kind of structure. I don't like to struggle. I have no idea either how to solve this problem because it does cause many fights. I just want you to know that you are not the only person. ↑ |
| Name: Shan5472 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 6:14 PM |
| Is this your first baby?? Sounds like he's going through a serious reality check and doesn't know how to handle it.. My BIL & SIL are going through a similar situation. I recommend seeking outside help... Best Wishes ↑ |
| Name: Marcella | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 4:19 AM |
| My fiancee got really scared because of me getting pregnant and started actually buying marijuana when I asked him I needed pants to wear because my belly was getting bigger. Fortunately, I found out he was a jerk and left him, now its just me and my unborn baby. Some guys are good, but ohers are selfish and aren't good for having a fmaily with. I am happy he's gone. ↑ |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 6:21 AM |
| its good to know im not the only person....I think/hope that maybe after awhlie it will start to sink in about how much a baby actually costs when the baby is here...itd be nice to win the lottery and make everyone happy :p ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 1:42 PM |
| Although I think it can happen with second or third babies as well, it's more common for things like this to happen with our husbands and boyfriends when this is your first. I was in the same boat. The baby probably had become a reality now and the closer you get to your due date the stranger he will probably become. He is probably thinking that if he wants these things he needs to get them now because he may not be able to have his toys later. I would say try to continue to talk to him and if he continue to refuse to talk about the situation then ask him if he would go to counseling with you. Chances are he's going to talk to you since he truely does know deep down that what he is doing is selfish. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Aug 5th, 2006 6:58 PM |
I can completely relate to you babey_g. Just the other day my boyfriend was saying he was going to buy me a prepaid cell phone and I told him not to. He asked why and I just said, "I don't NEED a cell phone, but our baby is going to NEED clothes."
When you go to talk to him about it, don't so much mention the baby, this might make him even more scared or even antagonistic towards it. Instead, focus more on the "needing" part. Just say something along the lines that money is becoming more important around here and should only buy stuff that is needed.
I tried it with my boyfriend and he mentioned buying cocoa butter for my belly. It's not a homerun but at least he's off the batting plate. ↑ |
| Name: ajrl223 | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 4:19 AM |
I know that these men go a bit crazy when they find out they might be dads. esp if they are not planning on it right away. They are all about "ME" they dont think about others often. so when this starts to happen. You both need to seriously sit down and talk. Maybe he doesnt want to be a dad yet. and then you have to decide what you are going to do for your future. It is never good to force them to be in this relationship or to make them hate you for you putting them in this situation. Men tend to hold things in and then everything they do afterwards affects you.
This would be the time that you both should go take a walk at a park or do something that you both like to do and then have a nice conversation. Dont do it at home or anywhere where you can yell and raise your voices. Sometimes we as women have to take the initiative and do it ourselves and to prepare for ourselves and our lives w/o them.
AJ ↑ |
| Name: shelzy | Date: Aug 6th, 2006 11:03 AM |
| me and my fiance are 19 years old im 4 months pregnant but my fiance is acting nothing like this. hes being really great and so supportive we dont have any support from either families. fiance has even given up smoking!!!! ↑ |
| Name: wannababy | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 2:18 AM |
| It sounds like your partner may be experiencing some anxiety himself about having another child, I would definately suggest some outside help, It is no good to get yourselves into a whole that you wish you wouldn't have a few months from now when the baby is born. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 12:07 PM |
My husband was such a jerk during my first pregnancy. After my son was born he was so different. My husband took off two weeks and helped keep the house clean and help with the baby. He even helped me when I needed it, which was really nice because I had a c-section.
I am now 17 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second child and he has been nothing like he was with the first. During my first three months he did all the house work because I has such bad morning sickness. He still helps when I ask him. He is also planning on taking off three weeks this time since I am going in for a planned c-section. He even has my mom lined up for a week when he goes back to work. I told him if we have multiple babies he will have to take off more then three weeks..LOL. Maybe like and entire month until I get everyone on some sort of schedule. ↑ |
|
|
