I have had issues with my weight for 11yrs. I have always wanted to be thinner. When I was in middle school, I was a little on the heavy side. My mom was not happy.. So I was sent to a specialist for my prob. It helped i watched what i ate. I became compulsive. I was skinny about 105. That was until I got married and pregger, I was 179lb. I lost all the weight except for 10 to 12lb. That just wanted to stick around. In the past to keep my weight down I would pop some pills here and there for energy and apitite control. 2yrs ago I started using them all the time along with other forms of speed. For a long time I could control my eating w/o speed. Now I cant. My husband and I would do some together or with friends sometimes. He never new it was all the time w/ me. He made me stop and no more ever in the house. I was so thin. I like it and I liked myself. I could bye great clothes and look good in them. I felt good about
myself. That was 6 month ago. I gained 18lbs. Can't fit into 1/2 my clothes. I feel so ugly. When look @ myself I feel grose. Somestimes I wish I were gone. I have seen docs and I have been hospitolised 1 or 2 times, it was always breef. Hell i cant spell. Anyway what it comes down too. I needed serious help long ago. I am beyond help. I will never be perfect enouph , it started with my mom.. If this is just starting for you get help now!!! Let me tell you if you have a eating disorder it will kill u. I have Heart problems and i dont care. I want to be thinn. ↓
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