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Name: Ashlea 88 [ Original Post ] hi it is ashlea88 again, how are you? i am ok. but i am feelin lost these days i have been trying so hard to eat and i cant i am not hungry and when i am i look at food and get turned off.... i am trying so hard now to loose the weight that i had gained that i even went on google and found a picture of an anorexic person and it is the screen to my laptop but ialso set it as my goal to loose weight. i was doing really good but i am relapsing really bad right now. i feel so confussed about it all and i am crying alot more,i start a program at a hospital on thur june 21st 07 and iam terrified not knowin what to do??? should i try it or let my eating disorder win the battle that i have been trying to fight for so long? or i can try and beat it cause i in some ways and on somedays want to get rid of it. please offer some advice. thanks so much ashlea88 ↓

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Name: lucifer | Date: Jul 22nd, 2007 2:03 AM

hell no never give up please i know we can win it. i dont know you but i have lost too much wiht this shit and i dont wanna loose without fihgting at least theres got to be more to live, i wanna go outside eat like a normal person, feel strong, have good friends, make a change, etc i know i have refelled but dont wanna stop trying i know theres something outthere waiting for me, dont wanna be inside next to the fucking scale and the mirror i know i hate what i see but i wanna love it too doesnt matter if i see myself as big and fatty girl i wanna learn how to love myself, dont wanna cry no more. please you know that we are actually desapearing we are so empty in so many ways now fighting is all we got. Dont let yourself down.... ↑