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please i need some advise, my 14 yr old son has been smoking cigarettes and marijuana, he is a great kid but is hanging out with a bad group, i dont know where to start to stop this and help him ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 5th, 2006 3:15 PM |
| Stop him from hanging out with his "friends" immediately first of all,then since he is already into marijauna,he may need either re-hab or at least drug counseling on a regular basis for awhile. As for the cigarettes,he's too young to buy em' so he's too young to try em' so I'd make that real clear to him. It sounds to me like he needs more discipline and responsibilities. I'd start by having him mow and take out trash for you and then if there's an elder neighbor around,I'd make him do her yard and trash too,for free of course! Then,in the meantime,outside of his responsibilities,I'd ground him indefinitely. If he drives you nuts and says he's "board",find something for him to do like washing the car,or windows. There are always things that need done around a house,and maybe he would learn something new in the process to like how to fix a leaky faucet or a running toilet. Whatever you do,get him help because he needs it for sure. Cigarettes and pot are just the beginning of whats to come if you don't do something now,but you have to get on it and stay on it and it won't be fun but if you want your "great kid" back then it's what you have to do. ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Sep 6th, 2006 5:30 AM |
If you possibly can you must stop him from being with these people.
Investigate what's available within your community for young people such as sports groups or an activity that he's interested in which will put him in contact with more positive young people. It might be difficult to persuade him to take part at first, but keep trying until you find something that he likes - Perhaps you could pay for an activity day where he'll go along and spend the day doing something exciting like rafting, abseiling, horseriding, trail-biking or something.
If you have a husband then perhaps he and your son could take up a sports activity together - learn a new skill and have some fun. Most teenagers won't admit that they actually like getting attention from, and spending time with, their parents! Even if you don't have a husband then you could always have a go instead.
Sometimes local churches run youth groups.
Talk to your doctor and try to get in touch with a drugs counsellor for some advice and ideas on how to get your son out of this situation.
There are activites for young people out there - you might just have to spend some time looking and finding out what's available in your local area.
Failing that, you could always arrange to move away, but that's probably a bit extreme. ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Sep 6th, 2006 2:51 PM |
| Do you realize... all the other kids parents are probably saying the same thing you are, that their kid is hanging out with a bad croud. Sorry! but that includes yours too, it sounds like they are all doing the same thing not one is better than the other. You cant just stop him from hanging out with these kids, all it will do is cause more stress in an already bad situation. Have you tried talking to his physician, today doc's are trained to give advice in such matters as this. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 4:21 AM |
| I would call the drug hotline and get advice this will only get worse. I dread this age and pray mine stay away from drugs. ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 5:45 PM |
| My daughter did try pot, but it was once and she didnt like it. She never smoked cigaretts, that she said was gross! If you could have seen the kids she hung out with! they where all pot heads. This one girl had a trailer in her yard thats where they would all meet to smoke and drink. My daughter would meet there as well just to watch the others become goofs after they got high. She thaut they where a riot! It often times is the age, they will experiment with diffrent drugs, including tobaco. Some dont like it or they just move on from it, all you can really do ih talk with your kids and hope they make the rite decisions. When I was a kid, I was a rebbel! I didnt get in to trouble with the law, or sleep around. I just liked that cool hard ass like life style. There was nothing my parents could do! They tryed grounding, I would go out when they slept at night. They told me all the stories of how drugs will kill me how smoking was bad for my lungs! Nothing worked, I didnt care what they told me. I had to grow and lurn on my own! Now that Im grown I can understand what they were talking about. I was luckey that I just simply lost intrest in all that and it never became a problem in my life. All I am trying to say is that the more you tell him the more he will resist what you say. No dont throw your hands up! that isnt a salution eather . You want him to think you are a cool hip mom then he may listen to your advice. Reverse the sycology! I will try to look around for some constructive ideas that may catch his attention. For now best of luck! ↑ |
| Name: EmeriBoy | Date: Sep 8th, 2006 2:40 AM |
Well I guess first of all you should ground him, obviously. A few months, until the summer, whatever you feel is best. Also, you're going to have to stop him from hanging out with those friends (Like eveyone else said), although depending on what type of kid he is it might be a little hard. That's the short term.
Long term you should get him in to sports or a Y program as atomic suggested. But as for the drug problem I wouldn't jump the gun and treat it like he's been using Coke. Depending on how often he's been using pot, it may or may not be easy for him to quit. If he's been smoking everyday he might be addicted, but if it's only once or twice a month, maybe even once a week it shouldn't require any extravagant effort. If this does become a problem you may need to consult a drug advisor, ect. But I'd give it shot with just you and him in order to avoid any reputation damage/legal records.
Cigarettes as you know are very hard to quit, much much harder than most things. Not only will you have to deal with addiction, but withdrawl as well. See what you can do, you may need some more help for this one.
At least that's what I would do. ↑ |
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