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I have 4 children. The 2 oldest girls are driving me crazy. Jessica is 18 and Staci is 13. They fight constantly. They both back-talk, and every time they even look at each other, it turns into a fight. I don't spank my kids. I try grounding, but that doesn't do any good. They are both otherwise good kids. Jessica has a full time job and pays for all of her own personal stuff. How can I get them to get along and not get mad at everything I tell them to do. Or at each other so much? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. ↓
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| Name: JenCarpeDiem | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 7:37 PM |
Stop cooking for them and such. If they're old enough to work and/or backchat, they're old enough to do their own chores.
It worked on my brother and I. ↑ |
| Name: Alex | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 10:43 PM |
Go crazy. Make them think they've literally driven you to insanity. Break things, scream, cry and wave a baseball bat around for emphasis. It worked on my siblings and I.
If that doesn't work, sit down with the both of them and talk. All three of you. If they start yelling at each other while you're trying to get to the bottom of things, go get the bat. Let them know they don't have to necessarily get along, but they need to watch themselves around you or you'll kick their asses.
And there is nothing wrong with spanking. It is embarrassing for the kid, but it is good for them to be embarrassed. If they know you are not afraid of pulling their pants down and humiliating them, they'll think twice. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 11:10 PM |
gylee,
Grounding works well, if you do it correctly. Consequences for actions will help curb the behavior. And Hun, we as parents have to become immune to our kids getting mad at us. I can live with them getting angry with me when I discipline, I cant live with raising bad behaved children. I don’t mean to say they are. That is great about the job. They are too old to spank. You have to get inventive now. You write down the behaviors you want to stop-then write down the consequences for continuing that behavior. Loose the cell phone for 4 hours, or all day, or more. Or the regular phone. To ground them you have to mean business and not waver on the punishment. If you ground them for a weekend, then mean it. Make them stay in, no calls, no leaving. Yes It will make you feel bad. But you will get over it, when you see your hard work help your daughters respond to you respectfully. I also have a daughter who is 18; I know how mouthy she can get. She can give me her cell phone every time she smarts off, for one hour. Then I tell her if she smarts off during that hour I will answer her phone and talk to her friends. LOL. That’s a scary thought for a teen. I have never had to do that. You have to take control. Fighting- Yep, that happens here to. When they were smaller, I would separate them for whole days. Then they missed each other and wanted to be together. Get to the root of the fighting. If they fight everyday about a certain thing, then remove it from them both. When they can compromise they can have it returned. Sit them down and show them the new rules. If you have not been consistent in the past, then they will break your rules believing you won’t enforce them. Don’t back down. Enforce what you said you would do. I promise it will work, if you don’t back down. When the punishment is over, have them apologize for the behavior and return what ever you took away. Reward good behavior. If they have a discussion without fighting, or go a day without fighting, let them know how happy you are with their behavior. And remember anytime they come to you and ask for something; tell them they must obey the rules to get it. I hope this helps. It may be rough at first, but will quickly get better when they see you mean business. ↑ |
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