I don't understand where my angel has gone. She is absolutely brilliant- she still gets straight A's in a top high school, is a sought-after athlete, and an actress/singer.
But I can't deny that she is more than a little eccentric. She has almost no girl friends, she spends all of her time out with boys at the skate park or surfing. Last month, she came home with her belly button pierced, and last night she dyed her hair purple.
I'm not sure if I should be worried or not- she would rather splash in the mud than go shopping. I'm worried that this behavior will affect her grades.
Also, she has completely abandoned all religion- she has been an atheist for three months, and has been increasingly defiant in my efforts to remind her of faith. ↓
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| Name: laura | Date: Aug 5th, 2005 7:29 PM |
| Mary who is the child and who is the adult you have to set rules and bounderies for your child it almost sound like you let her have too much freedom. Is there a father in the picture? Girls usually react to there fathers disappointment with there behavior if not you have to keep a open line of communication with your child and tell her it is not exceptable behavior and you have that right to set rule and she has to follow them until she is out of your house. ↑ |
| Name: Natali | Date: Aug 7th, 2005 7:29 PM |
| She is not wild....shes being a teenager....there are a lot worse things she could do count urself lucky and stop being over protective and paranoid. ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 14th, 2005 1:05 AM |
| what are you talking about setting the rules? she didnt say anything about her daughter having sex, shes talking about her choice of friends and normal things. these things are normal. im a teenager myself and my mother only wanted me to hang out with the white rich preppy girls. i mean they were my friends and all, i went to football games with them but my intrest way hanging with the guys. i am 18 now and i have a bf, i live with him but i only hang out with my brother and guy friends. its nothing like that, its just what we feel comfortable around and where we feel like we can be ourselves. were not lesbians. thats a whole other situation. accept that your daughter is happy with the friends she has and also with the water. like running, maybe surfing gives her a rush or freedom. she sounds like she has soo much going for her but shes growing up. i mean the purple hair is a little extreme but just like you may like blonde instead of brunette, she chooses purple over blonde. its her expressing herself and who she is. the belly button thing is not really a thing to freak out about either. i mean probably more than 50% have that done weather they are gothics, skaters, or rich preppy people. its called fashion now mom. i mean, no, not everone agrees with the low rise pants ot the bagginess but its the 2000s things are changing in fashion, maybe in some peoples minds for the worst but people like what they like and because you have different taste doesnt mean you can make their decisions. you may not want your daughter to do half the things that she does but she will learn from any mistakes she thinks she has made and she will live up to that. let her be herself as long as shes not in juvi or in a nut home. shes skates and surfs, why is that so wild? she likes the outdoors and likes to explore her options it sounds like, not all girls are natural cheerleaders and want the same things. just like some people choose to live in the city while others love the country. if shes making straight As now, why do you think this would change it? because she wants to have fun does not make her any less smart. and you cant surf and skate in school. give her time to find herself. ↑ |
| Name: elizabeth | Date: Aug 26th, 2005 7:30 AM |
| I don`t know what your religious background is but prayer always works. ↑ |
| Name: lindsay1 | Date: Sep 15th, 2005 1:14 AM |
| let your kid have fun a belly button peirced and some hair dye is not going to hurt anything. ↑ |
| Name: Winny | Date: Sep 15th, 2005 3:55 PM |
| You could be talking about my daughter! She's 16, makes all A's, is in athletics, etc. Since she started kinder she has always had more friends that were boys than girls. In fact her 1st grade teacher wanted me to give her permission to force her to spend every minute with nothing but boys and that in turn would make her want girls as friends...this teacher was a psycho woman. If you have ever heard teenage girls talking when they believe noone is around you would know why they prefer boys as friends over girls. Girls can be extremely viscious! In fact in conversations which I have had with some teenage boys, the boys tell me that these girls shock them with how mean they are to each other. These boys say (this is hearsay since I have no boys) that boys punch each other, fight, and get over it but girls want to completely destroy each other! As far as the piercing, I tried very hard to compromise...yes you can get your belly button done is you promise never to do your tongue which can cause speech problems, etc. Last year she dyed her hair easter egg pink! Thank God she decided it was awful and let me take her to a beauty shop to have it fixed! And like your daughter, mine questioned (and was also a self proclaimed atheist for a while) the whole religios belief. I absolutely let her know how I felt but did not force her to go to church or anything like that and eventually she realized that she did have faith. I would keep an eye on her grades though because as I told my daughter, she may be trying to spread her wings and find her independence but nobody and nothing will ever come before an education! And no matter how old you are you will always have someone to answer to. There are rules to follow no matter what age you are and always will be. Then I make myself sick worrying about her, have a good cry alone, eat chocolate and re-group! ↑ |
| Name: Sandu | Date: Nov 3rd, 2005 11:08 PM |
| Go with her to God,to the Church ↑ |
| Name: Carole | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 2:28 PM |
| Hon chill your daughter is being a normal teen try being in my shoes i have twin girls that our 15 yrs old there into hair dye and one has eyebrow peirced the other one her belly button peirced thats the in thing let her express her self enjoy her just be there for her .... ↑ |
| Name: Miccah Lewis | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 6:12 PM |
| i kinda think you are over reacting! in a way, i know how your daughter is, i have my nose peirced, and i have pink hair! i think my mom is going through the same thing you are! im only 14! but i make good grades, and i just want to be different. maby this is your daughters way of expressing herself! i dont think you have anything to worry about! i dont have that many girl friends either, i just get along better with guyse! and for the whole religion thing, let her beleive who she wants to beleive in, i mean, you cant MAKE her beleive in what you do. ↑ |
| Name: Hollie | Date: Nov 6th, 2005 1:54 AM |
| I think u should be worried because your daughter could be doing things u do not know about with those boys. so u sould disapline her ground her for 2 weeks. ↑ |
| Name: hopeful in florida | Date: Nov 7th, 2005 11:45 AM |
| how old is she? under 18 you could stop her from dieing her hair, why worry about her grades she gets straight A I feel if you just ride it out a little while it will work out . Dont remind her about her faith she has to come back to it, it can not be pushed. good luck and god bless the both of you. ↑ |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Nov 12th, 2005 1:07 AM |
STOP being so over-protective! Let your daughter pierce her belly button, let her dye her hair different colors is she wants to. She is still at that magical point in her life where she is discovering who she is. If you try to force her to be someone that she's not, she will grow to hate you....TRUST ME. As for religion, don't even try to force your beliefs on your daughter...because that is WRONG. You believe whatever YOU want to believe in, and let your daughter choose whichever religion she wants to believe in (if she ever chooses one). That way you will both be happy with your lives. You can't make her believe in the same things as you, anyway.
As for her enjoying surfing and skating, that is 100% NORMAL. Not all girls can be preppy, goodie-two-shoes girls who go shopping 24/7 and spend every bit of money they have in one night. At least surfing and skating are FREE and FUN. Let your daughter be herself and let her spend time with the boys if she wants. When she gets older, I'm sure she'll make more female friends. Like others have said, stop being so over-protective and paranoid. It's not cool. ↑ |
| Name: N | Date: Nov 18th, 2005 11:25 AM |
| Okay, I am a mechanic (I'm a female), used to hang exclusively with 'the boys' and plenty of tattoos/piercings. It's just personal preference/fashion. That's natural and it's not rebellion, it's who your daughter IS. How wonderful and unique! Don't struggle, that sends her the message that even though she is an exemplary student that it's not enough. As far as religion goes, just relax and love her. You showing her your God's love will go to the heart when all your well meaning reminders go only to deaf ears. Love your daughter and don't worry about her being a tomboy - she just has self confidence in being her true self, and what an awesome trait to have. You're lucky to have a daughter like her! Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: dont fukkin worry bout it | Date: Nov 27th, 2005 6:21 AM |
| ok, that hollie girl is fukkin stupid, whats the point of grounding her if u have no proof shes doing n e thing... and for 2 weeks at that, i mean gosh that just stupid! ↑ |
| Name: Jenna | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 1:18 AM |
Apparently, this behavior has not affected her grades at all. I'd say you were grossly overreacting if you think she's wild. She could be doing drugs, sleeping with everyone she knows, and dropping out of school.
You've raised an intelligent child who is looking to be herself, so let her! It seems your only problem is that she's not fitting into the general population's ideal of a teenage girl.
As for the atheism, it looks like she's smart enough to question what people tell her. That's not a bad thing. ↑ |
| Name: aaron | Date: Dec 22nd, 2005 12:30 PM |
| Listen Love, How old is your daughter is shes aorund 13-16 then thats what most teens do you really have to set boundaries for her and say No ! And give her some responsiblities sometimes around the house so she might not have to go out for some fun and have some time with her like awatch a movie. And Btw yolur daughter sounds like a punk kid and thee quite wild im 13 myself and i know. ↑ |
| Name: warrior | Date: Dec 28th, 2005 3:03 AM |
| Name: BARB FRANKIS | Date: Dec 31st, 2005 8:53 AM |
| I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING WITH MY DAUGHTER JUST ASK HER WHAT IS WRONG AN IF SHE IVES YOU ANY LIP TAKE HER OVER YOUR KNEE PULL DOWN PANTS AND SWAT HER BOTTOM ↑ |
| Name: masters | Date: Jan 15th, 2006 11:47 PM |
what up im looking for some fun and im 16
y.o. ↑ |
| Name: lee | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 9:35 PM |
| Hi laura this is lee How R U ↑ |
| Name: SABRINA | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 7:09 PM |
| Name: Blessed | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 6:48 AM |
| Seems to me your daughter is an ok girl. She is not doing drugs, having sex, stealing or anything else of the sort. She is a tom boy who is trying to find herself. I think you need to be the one to open up a little bit and try the things she likes. She has tried it your way and is trying to become her own person. The more you fight her the more she will do the things you wont like. As far as her faith, if she was raised in that setting what does the bible say? That she will never stray, dont push the subject. ↑ |
| Name: Derek | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 10:15 AM |
| One thing I DO KNOW is to NOT remind her of 'God' and religion. She will start to get into an oversized argument with you about whether god exists, she will scream at you and possibly laugh at you saying 'You ACTUALLY believe in something so stupid?' etc. Remember, we let our kids do what they want when it comes to religion. Don't force religion into her, let her make her own mind up. YOU are the adult here and MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THAT. ↑ |
| Name: your daady | Date: Feb 7th, 2006 3:14 AM |
| Name: alright here is my imput!!! | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 1:03 PM |
I am 19! I did all that she has done and more.
I think that I can help you out but a point of view from both sides.
I died my hair any color under the sun, except black. My mom is a hair dresser. She let me cut it short what ever right. Well skate park did that it got old Surfing, never done there aint that big of waves here. I dressed any way from white girl with the black look (wigger look they call it here) and well I dressed goth and punk and grunge, but she gave me limmits, no too short skirts and you have to cover up your boobs. And also she had me call, I could go where ever or stay a certin time, mine was 12 am, but I had to call her if I was going to be out till then, no going out past that or I couldn't go for 2 to 3 weeks. I had my belly pierced but that was my limit, only belly, and nothing but that (well my ears but I had to keep at least 3 holes nothing past) and well. I know that she cared and she said that I was wild but, she gave me limits, then at first she didn't like the punk or goth stage, then she finally started having fun with it, like lets see what we can do with you today and well we'd pick out out fits together and pick hair colors together. I now have a good relationship with my mom she let me have fun and she had fun with it too. I hope this helps you any oh and by the way, after awile it starts to die off once you (the teens) don't get a big ordeal from their moms. Like now I am normal as can be, and well married and a baby and 1 on the way!!! Sorry this is long and good luck ↑ |
| Name: ana | Date: Feb 19th, 2006 12:58 AM |
| i'm a 15 year old girl, i'm an athiest, i have (fake)red hair, i have my belly button peirced. my parents think i'm perfect. it doesn't have anything to do with your idea or safe, or perfect. i have a balenced lifestyle, i have a job, i play sports, i hang out with my friends, i drink occasionally, i'm part of clubs and stuff at school, and i have good grades. take that. i've been an athiest my whole life. religion is stupid, it just divides people. encourage her to set her own boundries and know herself and have morals and stick to them. btw. morals shouldn't include keeping her hair a natural colour and not having peircings. ↑ |
| Name: chelsea | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 3:17 AM |
| ur angel is still there. she is just trying to find herself. she needs to figure out who she wants to be. she needs to make mistakes. let her. and her religion is HER decision. don't DON'T bother her about that it is important that teens have something to believe in whether u agree or not ↑ |
| Name: help is here | Date: Mar 5th, 2006 3:55 PM |
Kids don’t come with instruction manuals. Until now.
Introducing The Total Transformation Program http://defiantkid.com/TheProgram.php
FAQ: http://defiantkid.com/FAQs.php ↑ |
| Name: noni | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 11:32 PM |
you cant force religion on anybody.
Holly is retarded, your ddaughter will be fine, but get her a cell & say if your anywhere after (time) call me and tell me where you are. YOur doin just fine ↑ |
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