| i think for now on you can only be his friend. hi is too old right now to accept you as a parent figure. he had a huge trauma in his life and all you can do is to be patent and loving toward him. I could take many years before he will consider you as his step mother. Plus you are right you are too young to have a teenager child, so my advice to you is be his friend first and all of the disciplinary action live up to his father. Good luck to you! ↑ |
| Tell him as greatful that you are that you and he are close enough to be friends with one another,he must still respect the fact that you are no less his stepmom and must respect any rules you have set down for him. ↑ |
| I dont mind being friends with him some what but then he comes to me With things I really dont want to hear...DOes that make sense.I dont think I want to know all about his girl troubles unless its seriouse.When he does do something bad I cant punish him cause he doesnt take me seriouse either.HUH so confused ↑ |
| With him seeing you as more of a "buddy" rather than a steparent,it's not going to be easy to change things. In fact it might make things worse if you try to change things,like he may end up not liking you at all and stop speaking to you altogether,and then he still won't take what you say seriously. So in my opinion,i think you should let things be as they are because wouldn't you rather get along well with him than not? It's your call but i wouldn't mess things up. I don't know how old of a teen he is but once he turns 18 he will probably be wanting to get out and start his own life anyway,so just be patient with the situation. Once he's on his own,you will be glad you are still friends! ↑ |
| At that stage in life I think it's okay to be his friend. I wouldn't exactly set any rules for him, but you can still have house rules. I am about to marry a guy who has older kids (not older than me - but not all that much younger). I just got out of a marriage where I was "mommy" to my stepson - so each situation is different. When I married husband #1 my stepson was 4.... my new hubby-to-be's kids are 9 and 13. It's always a tough situation at first though until everyone figures out where they fit in those blended families. ↑ |
| the last thing this ikd needs is to have a new person try\ing to run his life! Teens cant stand it when someone trys and controlls them. He has his Dad to do that, you just try\ to be nice, while inforcing rules his Dad has layed out, in a freind kind of way. Use things like "I know your dad wont like it if you...." so it seems like He's the one with the rules and that you agree with them too. Plus, you not a whole lot older than him. ↑ |
| Love, love and ,more love!!!! ↑ |
| Thank so much everyone for the kind and great advice...Hes agreat kid and I really dont want to mess up things. ↑ |
