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My name is La'Shade I am fifteen. My father has been a single dad since i was four, i am his only child, my mother walked out on us and i haven't heard from her very much since. My problem is that my dad is very stressed and unhappy. The women he dates are irresponsible women and they always want a lot of money or help with thier own kids. He fights with them a lot and sometimes he drinks around them too much. When there are no women he never drinks. He is very dedicated to me, he says he works overtime just for me so i can have pretty clothes and go to a private school. I don't always want these things. I feel awful that my father doesn't get a minutes rest or money to spend on himself. He works very hard and even though i know he loves me he and i never say it to each other, we do not talk much. How can i tell my dad that he does not need to work everyday from sun up to nightfall? i don't want pretty clothes and i would be willing to get a job and help out with school and bills. how do i tell my dad that i love him, it is hard i'm not a very affectionate person even though i am a girl, my mother was very non-maternal, she never touched me and niether does my dad, he ties to hug or talk but we both end up changing the subject or avoiding any touch i think he is nervous because i am not a little girl anymore.I am nervous because i feel like i'm not saying or doing things right. What can i do for him and myself? i hate to see him fight with women and drink. I hate it when we look at eachother and don't know what to say. He has always been a good daddy to me, he never walked away when things got tough like my mother. I think we are both still sad about being left by her because i am not very happy either. What can i do to get us through this? She's not coming back but we still have eachother, what can i do to help us at least talk? ↓
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| Name: Meg | Date: Jan 10th, 2006 10:18 AM |
| I can't answer your questions, but I can try. My adolescent years were the opposite to yours - I didn't want to connect to my parents at all. Mum used to say "I just want to sit down and talk". I refused. Your father needs to grow up, but I'm not sure how. He needs to recognise that HE'S meant to be looking after you, not the other way around. Remind Dad about the expense of Uni. Tell him his women seem like sluts 2 you. Appropriate timing, it should work. ↑ |
| Name: Carmen | Date: Jan 10th, 2006 6:16 PM |
| What do you mean her father needs to grow up? He works all the time to support his daughter and make sure she has the things she needs in life. Thats just it, he is grown up and should be able to live an adult life set aside from his daughter. If its more one on one time you need with your dad then the best thing to do is sit him down and talk to him. Explain how you feel like you need more of his time and just expalin that maybe his choice of women that he dates arent exactly the best. But your dad does deserve to meet a good woman, there are some out there maybe he's just looking in the wrong place. ↑ |
| Name: La'shade | Date: Jan 11th, 2006 3:55 AM |
| Thank you very much for your answers i have been waiting for a reply and for a few days did not get any! I am glad that you can see my dad needs a life Carmen, he works too hard. and Yes Meg i was raised to respect adults but some of his girlfriends kinda are sluts so anyway do you think going out to eat somewhere to talk would be a good idea, i can't think of where or how to start a conversation that could help me connect with him and get our problems solved? ↑ |
| Name: dmac | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 6:41 AM |
Tell him you love him and you appreciate all that he is doing but it bothers you that he tries so hard. Say that YOU want to help HIM, not th eother way around and you will do this by telling him the drink has to stop. He is obviously a good man and attracts the wrong women into his life.
All parents make sacrifices for their children so what he has done for you is what any good parent would do, take care of their children the best way they know how.
Tell him you want to see him with a better class of women because you are learning how to relate to men by his example with the women he is with. In this aspect of both of your lives, he is not setting a good example, and it would benfit you both if he was with better women.
Do not feel guilty abot "All" the things he does for you, the fact that you do feel this way shows what a wonderful caring daughter you are and he is luck y to have at least 1 positive girl/woman in his life.
Clear the air about your feelings about your Mom leaving. No offense but she is the one who did wrong by leraving, but your Dad maty feel guilt fo rsome reason, and he carries around the guilt with him, which leads to bitterness. TALK ABOUT IT. Guys don't open up as freely as women, yo umust take the first step.
Good luck, yo uwill get thorugh these tough times and realize how important you are to each other ↑ |
| Name: Mrmomfire | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 12:35 AM |
| Well I'm a single father of a 14yr old daughter. her mom walked out 13yrs ago. My advise would open the lines of communications between the two of you. My daughter when she needs to talk to me she goes as far as sending me e-mails when I'm working too much to listen. even a note to your father saying DADDY I WANT US TO TALK . He will get the hint. Try writing down the ideas that you want to talk about, that way your prepared for the talk( it really surprised me when my daughter did) We have a better relationship since that talk and I try not to work as much. I use to be scared to talk to my daughter, and he may not know how to ask you, so please get the ball started and things will be better, and he will resect your MATURITY on the stitutation. GOOD LUCK ↑ |
| Name: Pedja | Date: Jan 21st, 2006 9:30 PM |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Jan 25th, 2006 3:41 AM |
| Though I have not been in your situation. I can tell you that as a mother of 3 young children, I would be so happy if my children speak of me the way that you speak of your dad. You seem very appreciative of what he does for you and not materialistic as most teens seem to be. I think you sound like a wonderful, mature young woman. Your dad should be proud of you. ↑ |
| Name: michael | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 9:40 AM |
| i am a dad of 2 boys i know they love me. tell your dad that you dont need all this nice stuff all you Want is his attention ↑ |
| Name: Claire Brown | Date: Mar 19th, 2006 9:45 AM |
| i am 17 i am pregnet the father left me i am looking for someone to love me and baby i will also give you a bit of a fling ↑ |
| Name: mstopsy | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 3:46 AM |
i am looking for single head of household fathers to do a short survey for my sociology class. it's only 3 questions. if interested pleas email at [email protected].
thanks ↑ |
| Name: diana | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 7:52 PM |
| You are a great kiddo. Just sit your dad down and tell him. If you are too nervous write him a letter and tell him the same things that you just told us. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 14th, 2006 5:49 PM |
| Surprise him one night with a homemade pizza for supper that you made yourself and ask how his day was at supper and after he tells you,you begin the conversation by saying ,"Dad I love you very much and want to talk to you about my feelings about whats going on around here". And then when he says,"Okay?....." Then you take the floor my dear and tell him all of your thoughts and concerns about everything you have stated here on this post. I think he will listen to you. Maybe hes been confused about your thoughts and didnt know how to bring things up so he didnt. But someone has to break the ice! Hes your dad,he loves you,talk to him! It will be o.k.! I bet you will BOTH be relieved once you know whats on each others minds!!And once the ice is broken I bet you will have a better relationship. If you are old enough to get a part-time job a couple days a week,tell your dad you want to work and help out a little and tell him you only need him and his love and support not material things!!!!!!Please talk to him!!! ↑ |
| Name: map | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 10:42 AM |
| First pray! keep praying, god will answer your prays. You both have issues you have swept under the carpet from long long ago, which need sorting out. Keep on being honest, and being positive. Your Dad doesn't need a relationship as yet, because he has to learn to love himself first. I was in an abusive relationship for a long long time, now I am single with 2 kids, I have been on my own for 6 years now, and still have issues to deal with. It takes time. Tell him instead of turning to drink, and being angry, do something active. I used to chop firewood at 2 to 3am in the morning, and whipper snip, and gardening. It was good theraphy, and better doing that than taking it out on something else. You yourself should try to go to a gym, or take the dog for a walk. remember, to talk to god, he listens, i know. ↑ |
| Name: Roberta | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 12:20 AM |
La'Shade, I work for "The Greg Behrendt Show" - a new daytime variety talk show hosted by Greg Behrendt. We are taping a show in August, in Los Angeles, about "Single Dads and Their Daughters - who want them to date again". I would like to speak to your father about this show, and get his permission to continue to speak with you. I think this could be a fun way to solve your problem. I look foward to speaking with you both as soon as possible.
Thanks again...
Roberta Christensen
PRODUCER,
"The Greg Behrendt Show"
310-202-2448 office,
310-663-1640 cell
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: timbuktu_dad | Date: Jul 12th, 2006 12:05 AM |
Hey La'Shade,
I also work with Roberta and am very interested in what you have to say. I'm not sure if you still check this, but if you would, shoot me an email at [email protected]. I look forward to talking with you very soon...
-Jeremy ↑ |
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