I am a recently single 30 year old mother of 1 (2 year old).
I work full time and am feeling completely exhausted, lonely and miserable. The father "floats" in as he pleases but never actually has my daughter. The reason we broke up was because of his gambling problems.
Guess I am just looking to make contact with other women in a similar situation.
I just seem to get my little girl to bed and then I sit at home by myself. I can't exercise or do anything because my daughter is in bed. ↓
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| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 4:03 PM |
| iya im a single mum of 2 girls a 6 konth old and a 4 yr old im 21 and left my kids dad when i was 5 months gone with my 2nd coz i found out he was married i feel the same as you im lonely when my kids go to bed and i lack adult conversation it drives me mad. I cant go out as my only babysitter is my mum and she is still a full time mother herself(my sister is 14) so its hard to leave my kids with her for more than an hour so i can unwind mind you i dont have any friends to go out with they all buggered off when i had my eldest. If you would like to chat let me know. ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 10th, 2007 12:32 AM |
| well it also happens to men .im 40 an i have a 4 an 7 yr old full time so dont think your alone. drives you mad to know the other side doesnt give a crap . wll had to let you know your not a lone. ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 10th, 2007 10:20 PM |
| hiya stevie havent really met many single dads nice to know there are some caring dads in this world ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 12:50 AM |
| hey mel were out here us caring dads. problem is i care to much. sometimes you girls get tired an things seem to go wrong . i feel that too. but let me tell you something that will make you girls feel better. your women men like women its a normal thing. i know right now things suck but for girls its easy to meet new men. im not saying go be a whore but if your nice girls it will be easy .i promise ok an the next time be a little more picky in a man. then things will be great but remeber your kids count too.so now put your self in my shoes . men have it wicked hard to meet girls. especially if we have the kids. so if you think your lonely remeber me . im right with you . right behind you saying it will get better.promise ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 2:53 AM |
Ladies...and stevie
Go and get childcare....even for just one day a week.!
or a babysitter one night a week...
go out and find a hobby group that you would like to do and enjoy and meet people...
i know i make it sound easy and for alot of people its not, but i do believe that it is important to be someone!!!!....not just mother, father, provider...but someone who is happy with their role at this moment in life ↑ |
| Name: elliesmummy | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:21 PM |
| do you have friends? why not try get a babysitter and go out for a meal or a drink belive me it works you feel so much better just for that one night ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:25 PM |
| stevie i hear you i know a single dad of 4 he has been single for over 15 yrs and has devoted all his time to care for his kids he is such a good role model i really respect him. Marija i know what you mean it does sound easy i attended parent and toddler groups and make a real effort with my daughters frinds parents round the school but being a young mum i suppose they are not really intrested the problem i have is most of the support groups round here for other young mothers seem to be full of drug addicts and 14 yr old girls i dont want my children involved in that and i dont have any friends really who would babysit for me once a week even if i paid them. Im sure things wil come together soon ive got used to sitting at home alone i usually occupy myself with the housework i just miss adult conversation its all goo goos and gaa gaas at the mo now muy 7 onth old has started making more noise. ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:26 PM |
| most of my friends are away at uni or going out clubbing every nite they stopped inviting me out because i can not get a babysitter at such short notice. ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:27 PM |
| sorry i didnt realise my spelling was so bad maybe i should ditch this degree and go back to school lol ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:31 PM |
| mel be strong an wait out the down time your young an things will turn around for you promise. some one willsee that your a good mom an that will start something . a good mom is an attrctive thing. right now it doesnt seem like it .but you will see .an on top of that your creating a bond w your kids you wont believe . smile ok ↑ |
| Name: SAHM2 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 7:37 PM |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 8:06 PM |
| what is that supposw to mean get a life ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 8:11 PM |
| sounds like a person who has no idea of whats going on. or does not have a piece of compation in there sole for other people.i believe single parents have more life then you think. they have other lives to worry about. an the ones that do havre kids an dump them off so they can hit a club every week end . would not call them much of a parent. not one i would want to have. so whe you say get alife you heart less piece . think about the people other than your self an how they might be feeling. thats what makes a good world . not a crazy one. ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 11:41 PM |
| hiya stevie thanks alot that means alot to me i met a fantastic bloke 7 months ago through a friend he is having trouble with his flat so he is gonna come stay with me till its sorted. Im hoping things dont turn sour we aint really been together that long. ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 12th, 2007 12:38 AM |
| awesome good for you take care ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 12th, 2007 9:22 AM |
mel i know what your saying about the toddler clubs and i feel for you that all those young mother clubs are filled with not so nice types...i am glad you think this new man is a fantastic guy...but please be careful...i dont want to burst your bubble, im just a sceptic at heart...and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders...i just feel it my duty to warn everyone, especially single mothers they are targets to bad people.
have you tried inviting a young mom from school for coffee?
or maybe try having an older friend, one of my close friends was 52 when i met her...i was only 25....someone older may have more to offer in friendship with you
i hope you finf friendship soon :-) ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 12:46 AM |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 12:51 AM |
| ive tried that but they dont seem intrested at the mo i have not thought about older women the women round the school are older but dont seem to want to talk much but i think ill try harder thanks ↑ |
| Name: girli_bird | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 4:58 AM |
| hey mel. i have some ideas for you for sitters. Go to the local school and talk to some one in charge, have thme compile a list of girls they find suitable and that are willing to sit for your child. talk to those girls and their parents. Ask the parents what rules they lke to set up for their child sitting( such as , if it's at night will the girls just stay at your house or will they go back home) make a good impression on the parents which will also score big on the way the see you as a young parent, and what they say to other parents. Beleive me I understand that you have to work twice as hard when you are a young single parent to gain the respect of other parents. hang in there it will get better. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 8:04 AM |
| thats a great idea girlie_bird :-) ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 13th, 2007 11:09 PM |
| thanks i think ill try that when half term is over ill put in more effoet maybe ive been bit lazy about the whole thing. Thanks again. ↑ |
| Name: mel211985 | Date: Feb 14th, 2007 5:59 PM |
| Name: silentraven22 | Date: Feb 16th, 2007 6:29 AM |
| i have two very active boys, who's father has nothing to do with them except when he is attacking me, i also work full time. On valentines day i cleaned up spilt tomato soup, discarded toys, and assortment of other things seperated a war over a plastic duck, i then had to go to work and by the time i got home i was so tired and of course my oldest who is 4yrs old woke up when i got home, so we snuggled down n the couch and watched a tape of sponge bob- this is a perfectly normal day in my world and though i love my two little valentines more then words can say , its just sometimes its amazing how alone you can actually feel ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 16th, 2007 10:17 AM |
| hey silent sorry to hear of your day. hope things get better. the boys will love you trmendously for it. keep it up you sound like a great mom ↑ |
| Name: silentraven22 | Date: Feb 16th, 2007 12:26 PM |
thanks steve, from what i've read you sound like a pritty great dad yourself. to bad there aren't more guys like you out there.
have a good day ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 16th, 2007 7:46 PM |
| thanks silent we will see if the courts feel the same way . i am filing wednesday. this is where the crap will really hit the fan.these boys have a whole new life coming an i really hoped it wouldnt change that much but i think it will.an me being sosensative to there needs hopefully wont change our connection between me an the boys. ↑ |
| Name: silentraven22 | Date: Feb 17th, 2007 12:26 AM |
hey stevie, good luck wed. i'm sure you'll do great. The courts aren't blind. And as for your and the boys connection i'm sure it won't change. their lucky to have a dad like you- well good luck !
Please let me know how you and the boys are doing ↑ |
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