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i'm 25 years old and am almost 2 mos pregnant. my bf and i had a whirlwind romance and we were very happy together. we both worked for the same company in a foreign country and had rough plans of migrating to canada and trying to start a life there. gettting pregnant was an accident although he did persuade me to stop using the pill and kept pushing it until, well, here i am.i feel so stupid.he came with me to tell my parents (i grew up in a small city&family's conservative and close-knit). i was worried that he wasn't ready but he insisted and won me&my family over.he even told me to look for a house to rent and start planning our sep9 wedding while he went back to finish the month so as to add to our shaky resources.we planned so many things already&id never been happier.after a little over a week away,he's suddenly not ready.he now says that he never envisioned himself a family man,is too young and whatif hé cnt be loyal forever?to give u an idea,he's 27.it's his first high paying job and he comes from a broken family.he still supports his mom&helps his brother out.also when he decided this over the weekend, his country was besieged by this war and i don't know how his family is.i'm just trying to understand him because i'm so devastated. we were so happy.he had seemed so sure and excited about our baby and future.he was always such a loving,adoring bf and i was going to give him my life.there is no divorce in my country.i know crying is bad for my baby but i feel so helpless sometimes.i do have family&friends who love me but practically every hour i just burst into tears.mostly in secret.h8 that my family is so hurt by this.i've always been careful with men and he's only my 3rd bf and the 1st i trusted&gave my all to.i can't imagine how he could just abandon us.i've heard from my friend that he's miserable&is destroying himself slowly with the guilt eating up at him.i dnt understand how he can choose this over being happy with us.just because he's so afraid of what the future will be.i knew he was worried because he'd be coming to my country where he knows no one and doesn't speak the language.he speaks english though.i feel so lost.i know all the cliches but it barely helps.i'm so heartbroken.he's so selfish.i'm so worried about how i can support my baby.i feel so sorry for her/him..growing up without a dad.i never wanted that for my child.in my society,illegitimacy is a big deal and i'm scared it'll scar him/her.i still love my bf but i'm losing faith in him.i'm a strong person but sometimes it's just too painful and it gets too hard ↓
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| Name: Marcella | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 4:12 AM |
Hi Sofie. I'm sorry about what you're going thru :( I am kind of in the same situation. My ex of 3 yearscame by one day and asked me to marry him and asked me to have his kids and wanted to get me pregnant. He told me he changed his ways and thathe wanted to work and have a stable likfe away from people that did us damage. 2 weeks into the relationship, he changed back to his old way and 3 months after i got pregnant, he left me and my unborn baby and now we are comletely alone. he doesn'teven care to call or anything, I also just cry at night or even in the day, when im driving, but hey... things havebeengetting better, I only cry once in a while now and now I am excited, a little bit about doing this on my own. Im sure as we get more farther along, we will feel like wecan get more excited about the baby. It's our first!!! thereare so manyh single moms out there, and its better not to get married with smeone whos going back and forth and is unstable, it will only create more of a negative environment for the baby, especially when itgets older. One day you will find someone better who will not run away. Thats what Im hoping for. Keep your head up, You should try, just like IM trying to think about how beautiful your baby is getting and how exciting theday he/she gets here will be. good luck :)
email me if youd like: [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Tariece | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 12:15 AM |
| Hello, I'm kind of in the same situation but on my second child at 25 by the same father who was great with our first child but is awful with this pregnancy I still talk 2 him often but he not here for nothing but 2 give me money, no feet rubs, back rubs, dining out, walks in the park nothing but a phone call . But i'm 6 months and it was hard at first but I feel better everyday I think about my lovely son I'm about 2 have. So feel better It will b o.k. this is only your first I have 2. I have a new friend, he does not take my mind off my kids dad but he keeps me company. Shooping 4 the baby always makes me feel better, or going out 2 eat with my daughter. I know it's hard but just find things 2 do 2 keep your mind off it u will feel better b4 u know it. ↑ |
| Name: Kat | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 9:09 PM |
Sofie,
I also am in a similiar situation I'm 27 and 9 weeks pregnant and the love of my life keeps telling me that he "will not be a father to this baby" we have been together for 5 years and it is absolutely heartrenching I put my whole life into him and now I feel as though I never knew him. He says he loves me and wants to be with me if i get an abortion..But, I hope against hope he will come around. Become a real man and do whats right I also am terrified to think of my baby growing up without their father. I did get some advise though that i hope helps you. A good friend of mine with two kids her husband did the same thing, and when she was 4 months preg he finally came around. When I talked to him he simply said, "I did'nt want my child to grow up without me there". Now I understand that everyone is different. But, it does work out sometimes... ↑ |
| Name: Angela H | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 7:19 PM |
| I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It always hurts when a guys makes choices like that. I hope that you will start building a support system. if you don't have friends or family around then find a support group or counselor. If you are religious then going to find help at your church may be an option. There are people who want to help, you just have to find them. ↑ |
| Name: Christy-military mom | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 9:53 PM |
Sofie; are you considering adoption? here is my e-mail if you want to talk. [email protected]
I live in AR ↑ |
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