You all know that i decided to send Brandon pictures and updates of his son. The day i come home i sent him pictures and a quick run down on Oliver... Then a week later i sent more pictures with a - if you want them or not-
Now i emailed his friend - who is also close to me, to ask his advice if i should email brandon and tell him that the Australian Child Support agency is coming to look for him. I also asked him if he knew if brandon had seen the e-mails and if he had said anything.
his Friend sent me back the email saying, yes he saw the pictures and just deleted them with NO word..and of course to not tell brandon about the child support agency - let them give him the shock of his life.
I cant understand why the hell he would outright delete those picture..what a fucking asshole. And thats exactly what i wanted to ask him - so i went to email him again..only to find out he has deactivated his email account.....So i cant even say in my own mind i did the right thing and tried to keep a link between him and his son.....
It just hurts and pisses me off so much, not for me for my baby boy..How am i susposed to tell him about his father now? I dont want to lie and tell him some fantasy story..but the truth would kill him - I know it would if it was me.
Ha! I was almost tempted to take the money i have for the car i'm buying get a plane ticket back to the states, find where he is and kick him in the balls so hard he wouldnt manage to knock anyone else up and ruin there childs life ↓
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| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:30 PM |
| wow thats alot of crap .. Lol ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:32 PM |
| I would buy the ticket he needs a good seeing too!Lol ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:34 PM |
| i thiink the more mature thing would be to buy a nice car for myself and my son ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:36 PM |
| Plus i have some handy connections in the states..if i really wanted him damaged, i would of done it by now ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:36 PM |
Yeah very true,but it would make you feel better!
I was only joking! ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 10:45 PM |
aww hun,
at least you have tryed by sending him the pics and trying to keep contact, but if he has done that then he doesnt deserve to have anything to do with your beautiful son, its his loss. ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:01 PM |
sorry to hear this Sarah......I know about that same sort of thing. Gave every chance every oportunity......nothing. I tell you true........it was for the best.
What do you tell your son.......the truth. No every lousy detail and only what you belive he kneeds to know for his age...whats appropiate at the time. Add more detail along the way........but no matter how it aches not to tell him all the nasty details dont. Leave those bits for when he is a grown man. Reason ...you dont want to lie to him ever. And you dont want for him one day to be upset with you......and throw it at you. Teenagers do a lot of crazy things. No......wait. Whenever you do talk about it .......use an air of respect. As you begin.......you explain (once you have cross the birds and the bees path) that anyone with all the correct body parts CAN make a baby. But to be a father requires something diffrent. Its a choice. Some men, some women do not have all the right things to make them.......a father or a mother. Do you (oliver) see the diffrence?
If you do it this way Sarah......it will not come flying at you one day. In time when you fill in the blanks.....as a grown young adult.........he will understand better then. And realize you told him the truth.......never lied to him......even said it all with some respect for the individual (deserving or not ya see) but thats how you presented it.........and now he has all the information. My guess he wouldnt ever bother to go looking...........mom knew what was best. She tried over and over.....he made his choice................not worth it. Mom was enough. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:14 PM |
| Sarah, I agree with Maxie on this one. If he's that ignorant to not give you the consideration of helping you to support your son, then he's not worth the effort. As much as this may hurt you especially for your son's sake, you are the more responsible parent. Sounds like you always will be. If he chooses not to see him or support him, then you have to view him as non-existant. This is terribly sad. I feel very sorry for you both. Sorry for you, for your son. Sorry for the slime ball that doesn't have one ounce of moral fibers. My guess is he will wait until your son is a lot older to even consider anything about him. Plus, you meantioned that he's from the states so he probably doesn't think there is anything you can do to him. What a complete jerk!!!! At least, you can raise your son on how you see fit without any interference from him. That's a plus, believe me!! You get to call all the shots in regards to your son's up bringing opposed to parents that are divorced when there is a nasty ex that fights over every single detail. As time passes, your hurt will subside, it's just going to take sometime. Plus, don't give up hope because there may come a day that you will meet someone who loves both of you whole heartedly. ↑ |
| Name: amy | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:32 PM |
| omfg sarah i feel so sad for you and oli =( i wouldnt no what to do in your situation i would just forget about the loser at the end of the day you have you gorgouse son who is soooo cute and its your exs lose men can be so nasty and cruel but to delete the pics i nearly cried for you hes a bastard id go to america slap some sence into the twat! ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:35 PM |
Lol..yeh
I just don't want it to come back and effect him later in life. Thanks for the advice so far - very wise ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:42 PM |
| Sarah, all you can do is be honest with your son when the appropriate time comes. Perhaps he may have feelings of being rejected by his father but your love and support with overcome those feelings. I, too, dealt with similiar things when I was younger. Except it was my mother, who was purposely keeping him away from me. It wasn't until I was 25 that I finally got in contact with him. But, I did have those feelings and at times they were hard to deal with because I knew I wasn't getting a straight answer from my mother. So, just be honest and tell your son it was his dad's choices since you tried making the efforts. ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:43 PM |
| I just dred the day already.. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:46 PM |
| Oh, I know. There is so much you are in store for as he get's older but you will work out what's best for the both of you. ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:46 PM |
| Oh well having that bitch about him there has made me feel alot better =) ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 11:53 PM |
| Right! At least for now, you can worry about what's at hand, your baby boy in your arms. ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:05 AM |
Sarah, I don't think that I told you this before, and ladies bare with me it is long, but might help sarah.
My husband's birth father took off when he was 3 hasn't seen him since. We know that the man has a famliy and other children. We also know that he wants to see my husband, this man's brother, my husband's uncle still lives in town and Mark still talks to him. Mark used to blame himself, that if he hadn't been born then his dad wouldn't have left his mom. Now when Mark was 5, his mom married a wonderful man, named Joe, Joe adopted Mark when he was 6. Joe thinks of Mark as his own, even saying that my girls look like his side of the family. Mark knows the whole story and he now views it as he is lucky. Would he really want a father in his life that would leave? No!!
I have tried to encourage him to meet this other man, and he won't. He said, if he ever did that it would be to show him what kind of man he became, without help from him. When Mark's uncle sees him, he always says I talked to you dad. Mark always says That man is not my dad. My dad is Joe.
What I am trying to get at sweetie, is that you will, when the time comes, be upfront with Oliver. One day he will realize that he is better off without him, and that he has a wonderful mother that has always been there for him. Would you really want someone like Brandon in his life. To possibly let him down time and time again?? ↑ |
| Name: koz | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:13 AM |
| where is he in the states?? I'll do it for you!! ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:14 AM |
| Koz, we can start a little kick his but campaign!!!! Swing though Illinois and grab me first!! ↑ |
| Name: koz | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:16 AM |
| ok, i'm in indiana, but grew up in chicago!! So, depending on where you are we may not be far!!! ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:27 AM |
| I am 60 miles southwest of Chicago. ↑ |
| Name: koz | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:30 AM |
| were about an hour and a half from chicago...sooo not too far probably 200 miles or so ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:37 AM |
| Do you know where Joliet it is?? You know Prison City?? ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:42 AM |
| elwood and jake territory...LOL ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 12:46 AM |
| The is an Elwood by me!!! ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:09 AM |
| gotta love that movie!!!...still laugh at the nun scene in the begining :-) ↑ |
| Name: koz | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:16 AM |
| yes, a good friend of mine lives near joliet... who doesn't love that movie???? ↑ |
| Name: lana_81 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:25 AM |
| Brandon sounds like an asshole!!He doesnt deserve to be a father.. Kids are wonderful and no kid should be treated like that.. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:28 AM |
LOL...we went to a bar in florida one night for karaoke...
We roll inside about 15 of us ...all hawaiians and new zealanders to sing our little hearts out....LOL...the whole bar stopped and stared at us....i started laughing and asked hubby "wheres the chicken wire?" i still cant stop giggling over that.... ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:35 AM |
| hhhahhhaaaa hahha heheheh you are sooooooo silly marija.......just so silly i am giggling so hard goodness! ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 1:38 AM |
| Flannel and stetsons for as far as the eye could see....I wanted to stand behind it....LOL...Hubby was the only white person in our party...stood behind him!!!1 ↑ |
| Name: SaRaH | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 2:32 AM |
HE lives in Rolla Missouri..which is 2 hours from St Louis..lol
And thanks momof3 it does make sense and helps me alot. Still you know right now..it hurts , i still cant believe he just deleted the pictures of oliver. ↑ |
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