Dating someone 20 years your senior is too old? Alot of people say age doesnt matter..but i havent really decided for myself if 20 years is too old...if i saw or heard of someone else..i might think so..
Anyone else?
Oldest person ive ever dated was 38 when i was 20 so..thats 18 years..didnt mind the age but turns out he was a friggen liar with a wife and 2 kids. ↓
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| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:13 PM |
My husband is much older than I am. We have a very traditional home and a very happy family. I don't think that anyone who knows us gives a second thought to our age difference. In fact, we're doing a whole lot better than many couples out there. Contrary to what some may think, he doesn't have some sick sexual obsession with young girls (his ex-wife is 40)... and my father didn't abuse me (he's still very much around and supportive). We met while pursuing a common interest and haven't been apart since.
And as for my personal preference. I've always dated men who were substantially older than myself. I had a quick childhood, and jumped head first into adult-hood at an early age... so I have no use for college kids or starter homes. Being established and secure is much more important to me than a 6-pack. (And Hubby still gives the 20-somethings a run for their money at age 42.... if I do say so myself. He's gorgeous. lol.) ↑ |
| Name: Sezbi | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:17 PM |
Well most of the guys ive dated are 3-4 years older then me..18 years was the oldest age gap...and 3 years younger was that lowest gap......way too needy!
I'm just thinking if we do get OLDER and actually stay together...40 and 60 is a pretty big age gap. Ya know? ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:24 PM |
| Yeah, which is a reasonable concern. Not because I have doubt that I will still love my husband as he ages... but because of the very clear possibility that I will become a widow at a younger than average age. It's a hard thing to think about, but life insurance and financial planning are a bit more important with a large age gap. Also, we are spacing our children much closer together than we might otherwise. ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:27 PM |
| Mind if I ask why you were wondering? ↑ |
| Name: elliesmummy | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:33 PM |
well im 17 and my bf is 29 im nearly 18 and hes nrly 30
age hasnt botherd me or him ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:38 PM |
| That was pretty close to my age gap with my first husband Elliesmummy. (16 & 32). I was emancipated, working full time, and living on my own at the time though - so it's not as disturbing as it sounds. He didn't pick me up in a van on the playground or anything, lol. (Even though he did turn out to be a huge jerk obviously, or I would still be married to him). ↑ |
| Name: elliesmummy | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:44 PM |
LOL nicole lol
yeah they are jerks the older guys
but im getting my guy just were i want him pmsl lol
under the thumb!!!!!!!!
when i first got pregnant to him people called him a kiddy fiddler but we both waited till i was 16 till we had sex
and we were both virgns ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:51 PM |
| lol - well, I don't think it's age that makes them jerks... I think it's just the fact that their males. Paul's a huge sweetheart. ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 10:54 PM |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:00 PM |
| ellismummy--Your boyfriend was a virgin at 29. Is he religious? How have your parents reacted to your relationship? ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:01 PM |
| Nicole congratulations on the wedding. I didn't realize that you already tied the knot! ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:05 PM |
I was going to ask the same thing M... I obviously have no room to judge, but I always am curious how anyone else could enter into a relationship like the one I did. Considering the fact that the conditions under which I think it's acceptable are rare (like being emancipated, living on your own, working, etc.) Not many other 15 year olds are in a situation like that.
No offense if you are, Elliesmummy... but I do NOT think it is okay for a man to be dating anyone who is a great deal younger if the younger party is living at home and especially if they haven't finished school. I'd draw the line there. ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:07 PM |
| We're having a traditional ceremony in a little while (no date set as of yet) M. So I'm waiting to do the press release until I've got some gorgeous photos to show off. lol. Thanks though. ↑ |
| Name: jaxjos | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:09 PM |
| I met my hubby when I was 16 and he was 21. It didn't really feel like a big difference then and now it still doesn't. He will be 34 in 2 weeks and I will be 29 later this year. I agree that it's a male thing when they are jerks and it will happen if they are older or younger than you ↑ |
| Name: jaxjos | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:11 PM |
| and I was still at school, in 10th grade, I had to finish school and university, but I wouldn't get married until I finished uni ↑ |
| Name: Sezbi | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:13 PM |
| Because i'm kinda seeing someone that is 21 years older then me. And i AM looking into this too much i doubt it will last more then a few weeks / months..but then again i usually dont get into relationships if i dont see some sort of potential there ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:15 PM |
| If you are no longer a teenager I see no red flags when it comes to dating older men. ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:17 PM |
| Also, if the man is a lot older he may want a family while you are still not ready to settle down. You may wonder later on in life if you missed out on a career. ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:19 PM |
Well, that age difference (as far as being a student still) doesn't bother me... I was referring more to the gap of 15+ years. A 16 year old high school student and a 30 year old is wrong, in my oppinion.
It's not about age - it's more about what is going on in your life. If you're in school and hanging out with friends, just being a normal teenager, then it can only cause problems. If you're living with your parents then you have to deal with upsetting them and all the trouble that goes along with it. If you don't have your own work opportunities (I mean REAL opportunities) then you'll depend on the other person like a child, which is really unhealthy.
The playing field has to be somewhat equal. ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:19 PM |
| I would also want to make sure the guy isn't just someone who is into young girls. Is it a pattern with him kind of thing/ ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:21 PM |
| Is he a drug provider kind of thing also. Some of these older man get younger girls depend on them that way. ↑ |
| Name: Sezbi | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:22 PM |
Well he is friends with my parents..he was friends with my dad when they where younger
He was married once before ( women around the same age as him)..and his wife turned out to be a lesbian..she left him and they got a divorce etc...and he has 2 other children. Other then that he hasnt had any major relationship ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:25 PM |
| I was involved with an older man when I was a teen. It was a very bad situation. ↑ |
| Name: Sezbi | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:28 PM |
| Well like i said the other older man i was with...that was a mistake..a big one too..i think he just loved cheating and younger girls. what a pig ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:29 PM |
| I think the point M is trying to make is that a man shouldn't be interested in you BECAUSE you're young... but rather IN SPITE OF. If they habitually seek out younger women then there is a good chance they are interested in someone who they can feel superior to, which is obviously easier to do if you are uneducated and finacially dependant (or dependant on drugs, etc.) ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:31 PM |
| Yes--that is the point. ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:31 PM |
| It can be a very unequal relationship. ↑ |
| Name: jaxjos | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:32 PM |
| I know what u mean now nicole, I actually earn more money than my hubby and he was 21 and still quite immature when I met him, so I feel like we were on the same level that way. I guess we have kind of matured together. Sez, as long as you're happy with him and he treats you well. Don't let him take advantage of how much younger u are ↑ |
| Name: dina | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:34 PM |
| while i was 16 years of age i dated a guy who was 19 at the time.we dated for a year.should a 16 year old girl date a 19 year old guy?is that acceptable? ↑ |
| Name: Sezbi | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:36 PM |
| dina thats 3 years..no big deal i'm talking about 20 years ffs ↑ |
| Name: dina | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 11:38 PM |
| you want to date your dads freind?that would be strange to me.my dads freinds were bad men though. ↑ |
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