My mum and me had a big argument this morning....she stormed off. She never storms off. We havent argued like that in so long.
Anyway...she hasnt come home yet...the argument was at about 12.30 this morning and its just gone 8.30 here. She just left my brother and sister with me...I dont know what to do, shes not answering her calls, I rang my auntie who lives up north in cumbria who im very close to as she was going to adopt the twins and we spend alot of time with her, she said she hasnt heard from her either..
She said awful things to me...i said some things back but nowehre near as awful as what she was saying to me. I just dont know wat to do....Rachel (my sis who's 9) keeps on crying, my brotehr is just not talking to me and the twins keep crying and they wont sleep...I dont know what to do
Where is she? ↓
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| Name: sunflower | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 8:49 PM |
I cant believe that your mum has done this!
To go off and leave her kid's like this is terrible!
I think that you need to ring the police. ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 8:53 PM |
she's never ever done this before...she never leaves the house... i dont know what to do
all i said was that she didnt know what she was talking about... that she talked crap and she was wrong people did not think of me the way she said they do. ↑ |
| Name: sunshine | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 8:57 PM |
| yeah i think that maybe you should phone the police or at least a few places where shemay be if she doesnt come home in the next few hours! u have plenty enough to worry about with the twins hope everythings ok and your mum is ok but still that is out of order her just leaving like that ↑ |
| Name: Emma | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 9:00 PM |
is she doesnt come home tonight ring the police in the morning, they wont do anything if you call now.
she prob just needs time to chill out im sure she will be home soon.
try calling a few more people, keep calling her and leaves her messages to say how worried you are. = ] ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 9:09 PM |
| thats what im doing Emma....although when she comes home im going to blow my lid. My sister is so close to my mum, i tell her that she's just gone to stay with her friend but she knows she never does that and she knows somethings wrong. Shes so cuddly, she's watching telly right now with the twins...i think we'll have to share a bed tonight bless her. ↑ |
| Name: sunflower | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 10:01 PM |
| I hope it all gets sorted. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 24th, 2007 11:58 PM |
| Nicola are things o.k. now? Has your mom returned? ↑ |
| Name: anika_p | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 12:15 AM |
~May be she just needs some time away from the house to calm down and have a break~
~anika~ ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 12:50 AM |
| Has there been a lot of persure lately at home? Sometimes things can just be over welming...You live with your mom with your twins? sorry honey I dont know your story very well... ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 1:26 AM |
something has built to breaking point.
could be the pressure of having 3 kids and 2 babies in the house....maybe she thinks (i have at some point)'when are the days with babies going to pass'!!!...Then, what happens....they leave, youre moving out ...starting a life with a great man...youre excited, and now mums being pushed to the background.
Could be its been building and what set it off was something tiny...like not picking up a cup!
She is probably sitting quietly somewhere contemplateing....i think she will be coming home soon...she is just blowing off steam.
hope everything turns out ok Nicola :-))) ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 11:33 AM |
| im going to go and talk to her i think. The twins are at with their dad today and I was planning on boxing up most of their things so Ill do that and then I think we need to sit down and talk. I dont want to leave things like we did last time we fell out where we didnt talk at all for son long and she missed out on my pregnancy and the birth and she still has no idea of what happened while I didnt live with her. Should I guilt trip her? no i think thats immature. ill just have an adult discussion with her. ↑ |
| Name: sunshine | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 11:43 AM |
| i think that is probibl the best way to go about things i cant believe your mum said those things to you, my mum was the complete opposite she just ignored me well still does now and says i have to learn to look after myself if im old enough to be pregnant, im realy sorry for whats happened i hope the talking between you goes well speak to you soon take care ↑ |
| Name: Dana G | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 11:44 AM |
| Nicola I really hope your talk goes well. Those are hurtfull things your mother said and I'm sure she said them in a heated moment and didn't mean most of them. You should be proud of yourself for having and raising your daughters. I know it's very hard at that age, and it sounds like your a great mom. I lived with my parents for 5 months after i had my daughter and I appreciated it, but at the same time I needed to get out. Our relationship was much better after I moved out and I'm sure yours with your mother will too. Good Luck and I hope all turns out well for you. ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 3:22 PM |
I dont really have long but I thought I should let you know whats happening here....
we've had a chat. She said she isnt sorry for the things she said as she really does feel them. I apologised for what I said and she still said that she didnt want to apologise. I told her I did not want things to be bad again. I said I needed her and I did not want to move out with things like they were all that time ago when I was 20 weeks pregnant. She said "sorry Nicola. I love you, I really do. It's just, I don't know what to do anymore. Your grandad gives me grief everytime he's on the phone to us. I dont hate you. I just need my life back." I lost it then and screamed that we weren't taking over her life, I did everything for the twins and I gave up my life for them, i said that i didnt regret it and never would and could never imagine having this conversation with them. I said that you chose to give birth to me, you chose to have me, you chose to become a mother, I didnt, i was just thrown into it. then she said that i DID choose to be a mother and i made the wrong decision.
I dont really understand what she means....she says she doesnt hate the twins, so does she just resent us? She asked me to move back in with her, all I did was go to her house (our old house) with them when they were 1 week old to let her see them. She asked me to move back in with her and she was moving to a bigger home in a couple of weeks so I did. I tidy after them and I cook and clean, I do most of the washing, for her my brother and my sister, not just our things.I respect her rules. Paul has never shared a bed with me here (i only have a single lol) and I dont smoke or do drugs...i drink but thats not a problem really. I do my schoolwork, I am trying hard with my education like she always wanted. Im nice to my grandad, although i hate his guts and he hates mine. Im nice to all my relatives. People seem to forget im not a coke-head slut. but a real person.
it just makes me so upset. she's in her room sorting through her wardrobe to get out some of my work clothes (I hung my "job seeking shirts" in there as there's not much space in my teeny wardrobe.) I just dont know what to do, I dont want to move out with things in a bad way, but I dont know how to resolve it. I think she's been feeling this for a while. But I still dont understand what exactly it IS that she's feeling. ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 3:35 PM |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 9:48 PM |
| Hey there Nicola! I think maybe your mom (although she DOES love you and her grandbabies very much),just is ready for a change. I think it was nice and all for you and the babies to live with her when she asked at the time,but I think she is ready for things to change again now. I think if I were you,I'd go live with Paul even if it will be cramped a bit,just to give your mom the space she needs.It could also be that your mom has other things stressing her and she is taking it out on you because it's just easy for her to vent that way.Maybe you and the babies could (if not move in right now with Paul)),maybe you could just go stay with him for a solid week just to give your mom some time,and then you and Paul can figure out together how to handle things more permanently and do it sooner than you had originally planned. (Just an idea!) :) ↑ |
| Name: sunshine | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 9:51 PM |
| i agree with lizzi, thats sounds like a good plan, take care ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 26th, 2007 1:31 AM |
sorry...after what you just said...your mother does resent you and your babies because ...SHE'S SELFISH!!!
she is getting flack from her dad....big friggin deal...tell HER to tell HIM .....to get off her back.
Your mother needs to support YOU in those dealings with her father...She NEEDS to tell HIM about all of your wonderful accomplishments...and make him think differently about you...make it so HE CANT talk horribly about you....Problem is ....your mother is catering to his dislike of you, by NOT saying anything in support of you!
She needs a reality check and a swift kick up the arse!!
SHE NEEDS TO APOLOGISE!
Go about your business Nicola...i would give your mother the cold shoulder...UNTIL she apologises about her grandkids BEING mistakes!!!
dont do anymore than you need to...try to stay at your b/fs on weekends maybe?
i lived with my mother....and respected her rules (didnt like some)...but it was her house.
THEN she came and lived with me.........did she respect my rules........NO!....someone likened it to two dogs pissing in the same patch....yup not pretty...LOL
Mums will always be Mums.....but she SHOULD learn to respect you and decisions YOU make as an adult.
by saying how she really feels...SHE IS NOT RESPECTING YOU AT ALL!!!...she is being a sulky selfish woman!
good luck Nicola ↑ |
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