i got sent this...it put a smile on my dial :-)
]] ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
]] Smart man + smart woman = romance
]] Smart man + dumb woman = affair
]] Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
]] Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
]] ______________________________
]] OFFICE ARITHMETIC
]] Smart boss + smart employee = profit
]] Smart boss + dumb employee = production
]] Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
]] Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
]] _____________________________
]] SHOPPING MATH
]] A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
]] A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't
]]need.
]] _____________________________
]] GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
]] A woman worries about the future until she gets a
]]husband.
]] A man never worries about the future until he gets a
]]wife.
]] A successful man is one who makes more money than his
]]wife can
]]spend.
]] A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
]] _____________________________
]] HAPPINESS
]] To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
]]and love
]]him a little.
]] To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
]]not try
]]to understand her at all.
]] ______________________________
]] LONGEVITY
]] Married men live longer than single men do, but married
]]men are
]]a lot more willing to die.
]] ______________________________
]] PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
]] A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
]]doesn't.
]] A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
]]and she
]]does.
]] _____________________________
]] DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
]] A woman has the last word in any argument.
]] Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
]]new
]]argument.
]] _____________________________
]] HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
]]MARRIED
]] Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
]]in the
]]ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They
]]stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
]]funerals
]]
]]
]] SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE
]]SMART
]]GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT. ↓
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