|
I am wondering how to deal with a 12 year olds impulsive behavior. He does things without thinking ie: took a seat off of another "friends" bike and hid it. The parent came looking for my son and the seat. They were nice about it, but it is driving me crazy. I am "dealing" with it on a day to day basis. He is also doing very mischievous things that he just doesn't think about the consequences. Any ideas on how to deal with this better? Anyone else dealing with this too? ↓
|
|
| Name: irish4 | Date: May 16th, 2007 11:41 PM |
| My daughter "Sky" is 10 and has ADHD and mild Autism and has a severe problem of stealing. Last year she stole three kids gameboys from school and ended up in the principals' office and it didn't phase her. Her sisters go nuts because she steals their stuff and claims she doesn't. Trust me, your not the only one paddling out in the ocean feeling like your sinking and no lifeboats are coming. My advice, keep talking to people whom are in the same boat and whom throw the water out instead of their own mind...........best of the luck from a mom who completely inderstands. ↑ |
| Name: sickmom | Date: May 17th, 2007 4:32 PM |
| Thank you irish4! It does help to know that another mother understands. I keep thinking that the neighbors have known Kyle most of his life and that "they of all people" know what he is like. I don't want them to think that I want him to get away with the behavior, just to understand a little better. From what I have gone through, unless you are raising an ADHD child you have no idea!!! By the way, Kyle starting "taking" things in Grade 2. I get him to return them with an apology and contact the teacher to make sure that he did. This has worked so far but he still impulsively takes things. ↑ |
| Name: maggie10 | Date: May 28th, 2007 2:38 AM |
| Hello i feel for you. I have a ten year old son who is very smart and perceptive with ADHD and his impulsivity is very hard to manage. I would love to talk more ↑ |
| Name: sickmom | Date: May 30th, 2007 11:43 PM |
| Hi Maggie10. That is what bothers me the most about ADHD is that I know that Kyle is very smart and perceptive too. It is like a "wall" put up in front of him which prevents him from being able to focus. His most recent impulsive act involved the school/RCMP Liason. He has been suspended from school for 2 days and we are waiting to find out if he is going to be charged as he is now 12 yrs old. I hate the thought that I need to get tougher and used to the police showing up at my door. Talking to Kyle doesn't seem to work as he will go on to do the next impulsive thing without thinking of the consequence. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: May 31st, 2007 2:24 AM |
| my son Michael is soooo smart...he knows exactly what hes doing...But its the impulsiveness that gets in his way everytime....Its summer break so it seems to be worsae then usual....to much time on his hands...he took a bowl of sugar and dumped on the drive way and was killing aunts...God what a pain...Then I find all my kitchen knives outside and he does god knows what with them....So far we are all alive still...LOL! He is 12....so I was wondering what will we do all summer with this child...I am working for the first time in his life. so it is a concern...I did come up with a idea when he gets bored...He just has to be doing something...he loves star warsany thing star wars...qwe are going to look for star wars models for him to build. The snap models no glue he wouldnt like in on his fingers( a weird thing of his)...my husband and I think this is a good aproach to him staying busy with his hands. ↑ |
| Name: irish4 | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 8:07 PM |
Sorry I haven't been in lately just read your post on 5/30/07. My heart goes out to you. We must have been having the same kind of day. Impulsivity is so ingrained in our kids brains that as their parents at the end of the day we just break. Skyler had been sent to the principals that day too but no phone call. She told me when she came home all about the incedent. The ironic thing is that the school didn't even FEEL the need to call me. I, honestly, am repulsed by the lack of compastion they have for Skyler. They either treat her as a "Problem Child" or their scared to death of her and walk on eggshells waiting for the kid to exploded. SM... about the police... scariest feeling and worst is thinking that we worry they pull up with our kid in the back seat or worse. I have a question, Why do I feel so ashamed as a mother because my child has ADHD as if I can CONTROL her impulsises? Why do people treat me like I should be fleeced and logged as the worse parent ever? Like you SM.. worse fear.......BLUE and RED flashing lights and sirens in nightmares.......worse case cenerios.............
Also, SM anytime you wanna talk let me know..........haven't a clue how to work this chat room and would get you my e-mail but this will have to do til then. Let us know how things went at school with Kyle.......remember Kyle is a good kid.......oh yeah..........SUMMER is here........got plans............ Skyler.............she wants summer camp.............but you know that changes daily.............let us know.............talk later.................. ↑ |
| Name: mar22 | Date: Jun 2nd, 2007 3:25 AM |
| given his age i would rule out hormonal imbalance they can do blood test to make sure his hormones are balanced cause sometimes when males are at pre puberty they can show adhd symptoms but its hormone related ask your doctor they can help rule that out first, good luck ↑ |
| Name: sickmom | Date: Jun 3rd, 2007 3:57 PM |
Hi irish4. I couldn't agree with you more about school! Kyle is the same way...if something happens and Kyle is in the vicinity, he automatically did it or they are walking on eggshells around him trying not to "set him off". What I hate most is that they pretend to know so much about ADHD and how to teach Kyle. I even offer some advice on what has worked in the past or have read on some of the ADHD websites that might work and realize that they haven't even tried it. It is sooo FRUSTRATING!
So far I think things are settling down. This is the first day Kyle is allowed off of his grounding since the "incident". My stomach is doing butterflies but I HAVE to trust him sometime.
Kyle is involved with Soccer and Tennis this summer. I don't keep him too busy as I feel he does need a break but then on the other hand, he can't be too bored or he will think up things to do himself. Always a nice balancing act! ↑ |
| Name: sickmom | Date: Jun 3rd, 2007 4:06 PM |
| Hi mar22. Thanks for your advice. Kyle has been like this forever! He was diagnosed in Grade 2 with ADHD but I do believe that the hormones could be accentuating matters. Unfortunately, Kyle is so non-compliant with ODD that I can't get bloodwork done or him to even get a needle. We tried getting him to see a Psychologist to help him with needles and swallowing pills but he just clammed up and wouldn't do or say anything. He is soooo strong-willed!!! ↑ |
| Name: irish4 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 12:12 AM |
| Hi SM........ As Skyler would say, Sweeeeeeeeeeet Dude," Kyle is playing soccer and tennis this summer. Skyler loves soccer but basesball is her fave. Brilliant to hear he is off groundment....... Skyler and I will keep our fingers crossed for him in upstate NY........ you guys do the same for her, please..........so far so good............no further incendents here..........Like Kyle........Skyler needs structure too, so summer day camp is great for her. I can't break Skyler's rhythm...........change is very difficult for her and in the end it's better not to mess with... and like you said it is a "Never ending balancing act". But hey if we weren't here to do it who would be? Let us know how things are going and hope to talk soon. ↑ |
| Name: mar22 | Date: Jun 4th, 2007 2:38 AM |
| sorry didnt realize hes been diagnosed for so long thought it was new, all the best to you ↑ |
| Name: sickmom | Date: Jun 5th, 2007 4:59 PM |
Hi irish4. Sounds like Skyler and Kyle are a lot alike! I would seriously like to move as the upkeep of our house is getting to be too much for me. We have been talking about it for years and have looked in the same area for a smaller house. Kyle doesn't take to change well either and I can just imagine what we would go through. He has lived in this house all of his life! I have also been threatening him with a Private School where they work with children with ADHD and other learning disabilities. He says that he wouldn't go. We had him in French Immersion in Grade Primary but removed him in Grade 2 when he was diagnosed (too much going on). He bolted from the classroom, even the school. I had to go to the parking lot and try to persuade him (deal with him) to go back in. He LOVES to make deals!
Anyway, we are keeping our fingers crossed for you and Skyler in NS, too. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: irish4 | Date: Jun 6th, 2007 2:54 PM |
| Hi SM..........You made me smile........... So you play ............"Let's Make A Deal, too......lolol" I know at the time it's not funny and you're doing everything beyound reason not to lose your mind. In those moments I feel myself wanting God to actually smight me, really 'cause then I can have the tantrum.......terrible aren't I...oh well...lolol. Funny that you mentioned French Immersion........in NY you hit 5th you have to take a language so Skyler picked Spanish.......she looooooooooooooooves Spanish. SM here is my add [email protected] write me. I would really enjoy meeting and talking with you. As always Skyler and I are sending our best to you guys from NY. Talk soon. ↑ |
| Name: matt | Date: Mar 16th, 2008 9:41 PM |
| i have an impulse problem in which i do stuff without thinking, like i will say something or speed because i get upset and i need help on how to fix that i want to be able to calm myself down and think things through before the happen and i regret them it sucks because i just pushed the best thing that has ever happened to me away and its to late i need help ↑ |
|
|
