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has anyone came across this one my 11 year old son was diagnosed in jan this year and he's a complete nightmare.i tried everything the doctors and therapists have told me to but no joy this has been going on for 7 years now and he is just so abusive to both myself and his dad and his 6 year old brother any advice is very welcome ↓
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| Name: MN-MOM | Date: Aug 24th, 2007 4:52 PM |
| My son was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Behavior modification alone or with herbal supplements did nothing. It wasn't until we put him on medication and implemented behavior modification that things started to change. The hardest part is finding the right medication and right amount, as all kids react differently. It took us about 9 months to get the medication worked out. All the while we employ behavior modification techniques (including both positive and negative consequences), and working with the school on an IEP plan. I'm happy to report that my son's ODD behaviors (arguing about everything, being negative, non-compliance, etc) are about 85% gone. I'm amazed and I can actually have fun with my son most of the time. ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Aug 28th, 2007 11:04 PM |
| My son has ODD as well. You must be very consistant having both rewards and consequences. Be firm and clear. Have you tried a program called "1,2,3 Magic" ? It can help a lot of kids, may be worth trying. I completely understand where you are coming from- work with your school and pediatrician. Have you tried any medications? ↑ |
| Name: Kathy | Date: Aug 29th, 2007 2:08 PM |
My 6 year old son has O.D.D. and was diagnosed at 4. He is the same way to his family. He is very aggressive, very abusive to his sister and myself. Not so much dad but still he tries to hit him and kick him as well. It is tiring, exhausting and frustrating. Every day is a fight with him to do the simpilist things and you just want to run away. I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I agree that the right medication can do wonders, but it is hard while finding the right medication. Once you get them on the right medication it is not always easy to get them to take it either. My son is now involved with a behavioral specialist, a tss (therapeutic staff support) worker and a mobile therapist which does seem to help a little bit. It is about changing his diet and changing the behavior using good positive (and negative when needed)reinforcement with these kids. It is also trying to keep them focused while you have them doing tasks which is hard too. Trying to get him ready for school in the morning is not easy at all. It is a constant fight and I feel like I lose every morning. I am tired of the abuse at the hands of my son, I am tired of the yelling and screaming every day. I am hoping (and praying)that something will change.
My advise is just keep up the reinforcements, keep up the behavior modification, keep talking to people who understand what you are going through. You can't do this alone and thank God there are other people out there who know what you are going through. It helps me to know I am not alone and I am not crazy. Just keep searching for what works for your son. Meds work different on every child and trying to find the right one is hard, I know my son has been on at least 4 different ones already. It is very sad to watch your child go through this and not being able to help him.
Good luck and keep us posted on how he (and you)are doing. ↑ |
| Name: Kathy | Date: Aug 29th, 2007 2:10 PM |
Jennifer,
Can you explain what "1,2,3 Magic" is? I have heard of it before and my son's behavioral specialist has tried to explain it to me but I am not sure I understand it totally or that it works. Have you tried it and does it work for you? ↑ |
| Name: MN-MOM | Date: Aug 30th, 2007 6:50 PM |
| 1-2-3 Magic is a book...I believe the author is Thomas Phelan. You can get it on Amazon.com. ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Sep 1st, 2007 1:37 AM |
| Kathy- 1,2,3 magic is a discipline program. It is a book, as the other person on this post said. I teach fifth graders in a very rough part of town so I see it all and this program has worked very well with many students. It does not work for everyone, but it is worth a try. I would suggest getting the book and teaching yourself about the program and then give it a try. Basically, the program is about the parent being in control, remaining calm no matter what, and making the child accountable for his/her actions. Choices! I also use this with my own son, who is six, and has ADHD/ODD. He responds very well to this program. I might also suggest a book called ummm... can't remember the exact title off the top of my head but it's something like "Parenting with Choices" or it might just be Choices. I will check- I have it in the other room. Ok- it's the STEP program. It's all about CHOICES. Author is Don Dinkmeyer. There is a book for younger children and for ages six and older as well. I think you will really like both of these programs. It's sort of common sense stuff just put into place with a few basic rules that makes everything come together. Let me know if you have questions or any success. Good luck ! ↑ |
| Name: KathyK | Date: Sep 5th, 2007 4:51 PM |
Thank you for all ot the information on 1,2,3 Magic. I plan on looking both books up and buying them. I need as much advise as I can get. I do agree that it is about making the kids accountable for their actions and making the right choices. I try to hold true to that as much as I can. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a fight and he is pushing my buttons so much I want to scream I don't always remember to hold him accountable and help him make the right choices. I know I have to stick to my guns and not give in but that is also hard to do when you are in a battle with an O.D.D./A.D.H.D. child. I really appreciate all the advise and will let you know if I find the books
Jen, if you can remember the name of the book for younger children I would greatly appreciate that too. My son is 6 and think that maybe it might do him some good if I can get that book as well.
Thanks alot ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Sep 5th, 2007 11:04 PM |
| The book for younger children has the same title only the age is different. Try looking up STEP program and the author Don Dinkmeyer. The subtitle is Systematic Trainng for Effective Parenting of Children Under Six. I read everything I can get my hands on as well. I teach in public schools so I am prevy to a lot of info that other people may not be accessible to, so I am luck in that respect. I got this STEP book from my school guidance counselor, as a matter of fact! Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: KathyK | Date: Sep 6th, 2007 5:34 PM |
Jen,
Thanks so much for all of your help and information. I am going to look on Amazon.com and find both books. I have to say though since my son has been on Focalin and Depakote and back in school his behavior is alot better. I am so grateful for that because it has been so horrible around here I couldn't take it anymore and was at my witts end. He still has tantrums but they are not as long or as frequent.
Thanks again ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Sep 6th, 2007 8:53 PM |
| Kathy- what is your son on the Depakote for and how do you think it works ???? Just curious. ↑ |
| Name: KathyK | Date: Sep 7th, 2007 5:56 PM |
Jennifer,
My son was first put on Depakote about a year ago for the O.D.D. it was for mood disorder. I think with the Risperdal he was taking it did not work. He is now on Focalin and the Depakote and I think it works better now then it did before. It seems to calm him down enough that he can think before he reacts. I am happy to say he is doing better. ↑ |
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