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Name: phillmonica

[ Original Post ]

I too am at my wits end. My 14yr old son has always had behavioral problems. He got excellent grades in elementary school, but once in Middle School we all struggled. He has been evaluated by 2 therapists, 2 psychologists, and 2 psychiatrists. They all said not ADHD, or once said maybe just a little! We tried ritalin with him, Nothing. We tried strattera- for the opposition according to the Dr.,but made him moody.

All along my husband and I tried to reward him, but this didnt work so most of the discipline has been taking things away from him or doing yard work,etc.

Now we are in 9th grade- 3 Fs in academic subjects, 3 B's in Marching Band, PE, Industrial Tech.

No priveleges right now, now Xmas toys, only clothes etc. My son is mad at my husband, says all he will remember about his dad is the punishments.
I am 55 and my husband is 60. We are currently in the process of going back and forth between 2 states moving and selling our old home. My husband has diabetes and is in poor health, so his moods are really irratic right now!

HELP! I dont know what the problem is , but I do know my son is very manipulative . ↓

Name: Yawmom | Date: Dec 20th, 2006 1:29 AM

I know you can't reward him when he's bad, but it sounds like he's not getting much in reward / acknowledgement which I think in turn will cause more trouble down the road.
If it's possible I would have your husband take him fishing, spend some quality time with the son...it'll be rough but they need to work this out.
If neither is willing to confront the issue, then counseling is the key.
The son is only 14 and teen years are really rough. Let alone puberty, and school mixed in , it's all hard on a teenager (had a heck of a time with my son).
Maybe your son has some inner resentment towards hubby, find out what it is. He's got to have a hear to hear wiht one of ya.
As far as ADHD, maybe just ADD or ODD? Maybe nothing but teenage years that have compounded things? You both started a bit late and maybe you are a little outdated on what teens need..not being nasty at all, nobody really knows what teens need!
Got to figure it out, counseling is the best thing. ↑