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my son is 4, he has not been officially diagnosed but i have been told by countless doctors, parents, etc that he is adhd & i have know for about a a year and a half that he had some difficulty concentrating and listening but my son's father & his family say it is "just being a boy" and i did not believe that. now he is in preschool and the social worker, teacher & daycare provider beleiev what i am seeing. a very smart, funny boy with an impulsivness that is downright dangerous and every day seems to be a bigger struggle. i love my son but his yelling, impulsiveness, inattention, etc are wearing me out. i don't know how to stay "mary poppins" all the time and the new behavior modificaiton program we are trying to get in place is very hard to get working. help! i am scared about putting him on medicine at such a young age (if he needs it) b/c of the all the side effects but i also need to look at his education in the long run, his social skills and how i am going to stay sane (which is teatering at this time). any suggestions. any medicine work better than others? what about a dicipline program that works? help!! ↓
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| Name: julie | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 6:56 PM |
My son has been diagnosed with ADHD for a few months now. He is also 4. His teacher has been absolutely wonderful, which has been a great help. It is very hard to put you sweet child on medication but it is for the best. We are still trying to find the medication that works best for him and it is very upsetting at times. My husband did not want to put him on medication at first but after talking to the doctor he gave in. He still gets upset about it but he has seen how the medication can help him to concentrate. My son goes to a private school and in pre-k they learn to read. Before being on medication he could not concentrate long enough to learn his sounds and to read. After being on medication he is now reading. He was on foculin, which was working awesome, but I took him off during the x-mas holidays and when I put him back on it, it didn't work. He has tried dexadrine before that. Mood swings. He tried clonidine for 2 days. I didn't like that. He is now on a time release drug called Mededate. It is doing pretty good. Doesn't kick in quite early enough but he has only been on it for about 3 days. If you want to email me directly my address is [email protected] Good luck
We do this for our children. It is up to us to give them all the necessary tools to succeed in life. Sometimes it is medication that they need. ↑ |
| Name: Carey | Date: Feb 15th, 2006 6:13 PM |
Hello Melinda,
My son is 5 years old and was diagosed with ADHD and Bi-polar, so I understand what your going through. My son is on Adderall and it has worked wonders. It's a time capsule that release through out the day to help him keep at a steady pace. I too did not want to put him on meds but it came to a point in my life where I could not help him by myself. I just kept thinking it was something that I was doing wrong. My family was very upset with me when I told them about his diagnoses because the last 4 years they had been telling me that what he was doing was just the way boys acted, but I know now that was not the case. My son sees a theripst once a week, she comes to my home and works with him. Now the dicipline area was very hard for me too. Nothing I had tried worked. But his theripst told me that I should try putting his favorite toys in time out instead of my son. I know it sounds kind of crazy but it does work, maybe you should try that. I hope that I have helped a little, if you would like to talk so more you can e-mail me at : [email protected]. ↑ |
| Name: melissa | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 8:10 PM |
| HI! I also need some advice. My 5 year old step-daughter whom we have every other weekend along with my 6 1/2 year old step-son just got put on adderrall for adhd. (only the girl)The problem is my husband and I don't belive she needs this!! she is awesome at our house! her mom says she mean to kids and teachers and she's also been kicked out of 5 daycares. But when she's at our house she so so good and we even have another (him and I) she's 23 months. and Dallas has never hurt her. My husband doesn't want his daughter on this medication but feels he cannot do anything about it because she has custody of the kids. He not emotionally or finacially ready to battle her in court. Please help!! what can we do to get her off this medication!!! it took her mother 3 docters b4 she could even find one to prescribe her this medication!! The mother favors the 6 1/2 year old boy in an extreme way and I believe this is why she's so bad at home!! any suggestions? ↑ |
| Name: spyder | Date: Mar 12th, 2006 11:12 PM |
| My son is ADHD and I wanted to say that I fought the schools for years as to the medication thing. I finally had to give in about 2nd grade because he would not pay attention at all. He would play with his pencil and cause problems in class and always end up in the hall. I did not want him medicated but finally did give in and they put him on Adderall. It does help him keep focused and doesn't cause him to have that speedy affect that I had always heard about and was so afraid of. They started him on the lowest dose. He is now in 7th grade and still has to be on this medication. As I still struggle with it, I take him off of it in the summer and let him be himself..........I believe that the child needs to "feel" to grow and better understand himself. But it is a challenge and the meds do actually work. We are now in family counseling finding out that he was teased alot at school has alot to do with anger issues. So these kids with ADHD do go through alot as we need to discipline them we also need to understand that they need the positive influences as well. It is very important to point out what they do right so they will focus on what they have done right and continue to do it to get the positive attention that they are thriving for. What people that do not have children with this do NOT understand is a spanking only makes the situation worse. They will act out to get any type of attention that they can whether it be positive or negative. I'm no expert, I blow up at times but have to remind myself that he is struggling inside as well and as he grows older this will go away as it has let up over the years. It takes alot of patience and alot of work but our kids have a chance at a normal life and I think more teachers and people that do not know anything about ADHD should realize this is a illness. The reason they didn't talk about it in the 50's or whatever is because they were not aware of it. I have no doubt that I was ADHD and my mom thinks so too. I am 39 years old today and still can take on 5 things at once and focus on all of them..................but as a child I would try to take on 5 things at once causing confusion, frustration and yes anger. I didn't know that I may have had ADHD until I had a son with it. Now looking back, yes he is me all over again. So when you say to your kids.........Why do you have to be so anxious all the time..........why can't you slow down..........why can't you sit still..............remember their brain goes 5 times faster than ours does and they could be a scientist someday if we have the patience to work with them and figure out what their special talents are.........they are very smart kids! Some kids do not need these meds that is why I was so very afraid to do it and didn't for a few years. There are kids on them that do not need them at all and usually just act up because they do not have a stable environment or whatever is going on in their life. That is when counseling comes in. I don't believe any child should be put on any meds unless you have a couple opinions from a good psychologist.........I went to 2 before I finally gave in. He was diagnosed by both and we still see therapists. Some doctors are too quick to put these kids on meds and some of them just do not need it. This causes them to become like zombies or just not be themselves at all and it is wrong! ↑ |
| Name: Sabrina | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 3:20 AM |
| Hi Melissa! I thought that I would respond to your message as I found it very interesting. My son was diagnosed this past September with having ADHD which I have known for years now, he is 8 yrs old. Before he was medicated he didn't do well academically. He couldn't hold on to any friends, he had behavioural issues and he too would do very well when he went to his fathers house every second weekend. As a matter of fact there was a debate as to whether or not he even had ADHD. His father didn't believe so as he was able to behave himself at his house, however the pattern was the same at home and school, where he didn't focus or behave. Doctors explained to me that many children with this disorder have a honeymoon period which can last ages. So far my son has never fallen out with his dad while visiting for the weekend so this honeymoon has lasted years! I valued his father's input however physicians explained that it is difficult to take his "good behaviour" into consideration (when diagnosing him) when he is with his dad 4 days per month. I do believe this is not long enough to give the child a chance to act out, also they view the weekend visits as a fun and exciting time, unlike the regular routine at home. My son tries his best to behave during these times as he doesn't get to see his father much. Besides the behaviour, there should be clear indication that the child cannot focus well, the hyperactivity is present. My son is clearly driven by a motor and cannot focus on school tasks without medication. Also, i wanted to mention that it is very difficult to get a prescription for ritalin or any other ADHD medication for that matter. Many physicians are not qualified nor educated to give out these Rx, it takes a good "Developmental Pediatrican" to properly diagnose a child, this takes a long time. It took my son 5 years to get a diagnosis. Most doctors also wont diagnose until the child enters grade 1 or 2, where they can evaluate how the child copes with school/homework, reading and writing etc. Also this process involves evaluating the child's behaviour and abilities within two seperate environments (school and home). The reason for this is because it gives an accurate diagnosis. Up to date, there are no scans or blood tests to check for this disorder, the diagnosis is based on stories from the parent and teacher as well as any other important detail (i.e: developmental delays, behaviours, and if the disorder runs in the family as this is hereditary) . One way to tell whether or not the child even is ADHD is if the meds work. If the child is calm when taking the meds, then the child had the disorder to begin with. I noticed that you commented on the child's behaviour with your toddler. Many ADHD children take a liking to infants/toddlers. My child was only ever mean to children his own age and older. He never seemed to have picked on the wee ones. I say this because I run a day care and I have been around other people's children for 6 years now. My ex-husband's arguement was always that he thought I did a poor job at parenting and that my son was the way he was because I made him this way. I dont have other children to favour, my son is my life, I have dropped everything for him. i changed my career 3 times since his birth, I have attended an insane number of pediatric meetings in regards to this illness since day one which has caused me to lose jobs and the stress of being a parent of a child with ADHD has also caused me two failed marriages. Regardless of all this, no matter what I have lost, no matter what I have sacrificed, I did it for the little man in my life and I would do it all over again no matter how I was viewed as a person. Normally physicians are not wrong, it's usually the parent who sees another side of the coin and interprets this wrong, or accuses the other parent of being incompetant or favours another child. I suggest that you do alot of research before making accusations and making the other parent feel horrible. Parenting a child with ADHD is very stressful, if you feel that there has been a mis-diagnosis why not present another idea to the mother of the child such as visiting a developmental doctor or even a psychiatrist who can also diagnose. I know that you mentioned that your husband doesnt have money or is not emotionally prepared to see this through, but children are worth it. This may mean that you might have to pay for a psych visit or two perhaps three. No matter what it means, money should not be an issue. If I was on the other end I would find the funds to support my arguement even if it meant working 7 days per week. Your child'd health is worth a million dollars. Remember, dont be too concerned about the medication, if your step-daughter is not ADHD then the medication will not help her any, it will have no effect what so ever. The mother will eventually clue in when it doesn't seem to work and will try other alternatives. This is where you need to do your research. The issue might not be ADHD, it could be ODD or conduct disorder. This can occur in children while in different environments. Also if you have no rules in your home this might mean that the child doesn't have the opportunity to act out, there may not be any expectations. I know that this message may not be what you had hoped for but maybe having read some of what I said might put some more light on the situation. I can be reached at [email protected] if you want to chat further. I am very open minded and will try my very best at seeing your side of the story. ↑ |
| Name: Sabrina | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 3:25 AM |
| I wanted to add, a common myth is when parents think children become zombies (vegetables) when they are placed on medicine that they dont need. This is so untrue, they become like this when their dose is too high. It is very important o inform yourself as a parent about these types of things when considering the rx route. ↑ |
| Name: nikki | Date: May 12th, 2006 1:06 AM |
| Your situation sounds alot like mine. My son just turned five and he is being evaluated through the school with a occupational therpist. She seems to think he has body awareness sensory problem with some anger and communication problems. As for mary poppins frequent breaks or early bedtimes seemed to help me. I myself are not sure of medicine either but what I know I could refer back to you. Sometimes it takes several Dr.'s to help you through the understanding. My concern is not being able to tell me if bad side effects are bothering him. ↑ |
| Name: sue | Date: May 12th, 2006 8:26 PM |
READ THIS ARTICLE:
http://www.thetruthsee
ker.co.uk/article.asp?ID=2409
I
n
part:
"Are parents who use infant videos such as "Baby Einstein" and "Teletubbies" putting their child at risk for a lifetime of Special Ed classes, school "behavioral therapy" and Ritalin?
In the study of more than 2,000 children, Christakis found that for every hour watched at age one and age three, the children had almost a 10 percent higher chance of developing attention problems that could be diagnosed as ADHD by age 7. A toddler watching three hours of infant television daily had nearly a 30 percent higher chance of having attention problems in school. " ↑ |
| Name: emtf71 | Date: May 12th, 2006 9:44 PM |
| I belive that is problemly right. But my son couldn't sit long enough to watch t.v. at all and he is 7 has adhd. I knew he had adhd since he was two I didn't need a doctor to tell me that. He was always jumping on the couch hitting his brother even when we would sisaplain him and boy did we dicipline him but he just won't get it as soon as he got out of time out he would do it again. one time we went to the park he was 3 he took off on me and wouldn't com back and I had his baby brother at the time well he was put in his room for 2 hrs because I was so mad at him he had not toy's to play with nothing in his room after I calm down I reminded him of what he did and how dangerous it was god I'm glad those day's are over with he is now 7 on med's and has been a good listener but we are not keen on med's and now that he is older we are going to try this summer without the med's. We want to see if he has improved at all now that he is older. ↑ |
| Name: iamlisa | Date: Aug 1st, 2006 3:37 AM |
| mines been on med since 3 ,hes 5 now .try concerta. ↑ |
| Name: Monarch4 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 7:10 PM |
| If i saw signs of my son at age four with adhd i would not have medicated him then, he has been diagnosed with adhd and is now 11 years old, he has tried a few meds but becuase of thelegal issue swith his father, my ex we are attending court to get things worked out. but I am fighting to be able to help him anyway i choose, he refused to even try medication now, he has in the past and then changed his mind. My point is that I would try everything but meds at this point, behavior modification and daily reward system worked great for us. I think it's too young their minds are still developing and at a young age without much research on long term effects i would be scred of what i might do. You hear good and bad stories out there tho, so of course it's up to you. Try everything else before meds, having them be the last alternative. my opinion only, of course. look into as much as you can. I know it's very hard and sometimes you just want to lift up your hands and ask why. Good luck ↑ |
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