http://www.adoptionagencych
ecklist.com/page733.html
The Adoption Agency Checklist
Introduction
The Checklist
Guide to Agency and Facilitator Web Sites
Photolistings and Ethics
Why the Bad Stories Must Be Told
Proposed Adoption Reforms
Links
• The Porter's Guatemalan Nightmare
• Lora Cullipher's Experience with Reaching Out Thru International Adoption
Stephanie Porter has asked that I post her adoption story here. This is her story and responsibility for its content is entirely hers.
Like the story of Dan and Elizabeth Case on my Links page, this one also involves the death of a child. Here, it appears as if yet again, an agency refuses to take responsibility for the actions and inactions of those it hires ina foreign country to represent it and its clients.
What follows is Stephanie's story in her own words:
"We started our adoption process in 2000 by taking classes and obtaining a homestudy through our state. I guess I have to admit that I am one of the people who knew I was going to adopt from Guatemala, but inquired about a child that was photolisted. The agency that had him was DeColores Adoption out of Lake Charles Louisiana. The child we inquired about was already matched, but we asked them to send us their paperwork out. We then posted on an adoption website regarding this agency and all we received was glowing references. Take into account that I did not learn about this list until well into our adoption."
"In January of 2001, we accepted the referral of a newborn infant boy. Man were we excited! I showed his picture to everyone...even people who weren't interested! LOL! In Feb. we learned that this infant was very ill with multiple broken bones and had been diagnosed with Osteogenesis Imperfecta. After doing all of the research and even speaking to other adoptive parents with children who had this disease, we decided that we needed to move on and accept another referral. I still think about this little boy all of the time."
"In May 2001, we received a picture in our email of a beautiful baby boy with the longest eyelashes and biggest most beautiful eyes we have ever seen. His name was Brayan. We instantly accepted his referral and were on our way to having a baby. I am sure that we were very naive at this point. We were under the impression that our "hope to be son" was in foster care. It was not until July 2001, that we received a phone call that Brayan's birthmother had "disappeared" and that he would have to remain in the orphanage until his abandonment was done. We were told that we could move on or wait for his abandonment....which we were told that this attorney was very "quick" and we should receive a COA by Dec. 2001 or Jan. of 2002.
(I must add that the same week we were told of Brayan's abandonment, I was approached by a friend of mine about adopting her daughter's unborn baby boy. We brought Benjamin home 22days after he was born....which is one of the reasons we thought that the wait until Dec. or Jan. would not seem so long)."
"Well, Dec. and January passed...we emailed and talked to our agency about once a month. We were told that we were in family court in Feb. 2002...then we received a phone call in March or April saying that we were never submitted to family court, that we were still waiting on the COA. In May, we were told we had a COA and that if we wanted to pay for it that Brayan could be placed in private foster care. This did not happen...not through the agency anyway. Later that month we were told that they were not sure if we HAD a COA that had a mistake and had to be fixed or if we did NOT even have a COA."
"We waited patiently throughout all of this...even asking a couple of different times if we should move on...they always said it was our decision that things should be done soon. Finally in August 2002, I told them that we were done. We were told in July that there was something wrong with Brayan's paperwork...again. The attorney rarely if ever answered their emails...and to my knowledge rarely spoke with them on the phone. Our INS expired in Sept. and we could not afford to pay one more thing at this point. They did offer to reimburse the fees we had paid...or we could renew our INS/Homestudy (which they paid for) and move on to another referral. My husband and I decided to accept another referral since they were paying for the updates."
"Imagine your surprise when the attorney Julio Roberto Palencia Lopez miraculously got an abandonment decree in Oct. 2002 and began making multiple requests for our INS clearance. At that point we decided to sit and wait....if Brayan came home, he did...if not ........
Boy, we sound really desperate and confused don't we? After the holidays, I began making requests on the status of our case. I was then informed that some of the children from the orphanage go home with nannies for the holidays. The told me that they had not laid eyes on Brayan...neither had their facilitator...in approx. 4months. I decided then and there that I was going to Guatemala."
"I was told by the ladies at the agency that they could not guarantee that I would even be able to see Brayan due to the circumstances....I told them the dates I would be there and that I would appreciate him being brought to me on Sunday."
"I stayed at the Marriott Hotel in Guatemala City. When I got there, I went and freshened up and then went outside to watch the buses go by. While I was sitting there, two young Guatemalan women and their mother approached me. One of them said..."We have Brayan." When I saw his face, I instantly knew it was him because of his beautiful eyes....I started bawling. The girls mother was bawling when they walked up. Apparently the attorney had told them I was there to bring Brayan home....Boy did I wish. I told them I just wanted to visit with Brayan and see how he was. They also told me that the reason Brayan was staying with them and had been since before Thanksgiving was this: The 2 girls volunteered in the orphanage. They went in one day and Brayan was very lethargic, had a high temperature and tremors. They took him to a doctor they know that will treat the kids from the orphanage for free....They then took him home with them so that he could recover. I must tell you that I was livid at the thought that my agency did not even know that my "hope to be son" was ill and no longer in the orphanage...which I later learned is not supposed to happen. I was very thankful for these people who had taken Brayan into their home. They basically saved his life. The 3 days I was visiting, I visited with him at the Family's home. By this time he was 2yrs. old and I did not want to traumatize him by insisting he stay in the hotel with me.......This family was wonderful...they made sure I saw Brayan every day, learned about his routine, allowed me in their home to eat with them and visit with them...they even wanted me to check out of the hotel and stay in their home with Brayan:) I just stayed at the hotel at night and visited with him during the day. One of the girls got in touch with Palencia for me....I know....a big NO NO in the adoption community to contact your own attorney. But by this time, what did I have to lose right? I also contacted the Embassy while I was there. I
spoke to a wonderful man named Pete Acosta. He told me exactly what was holding my case up and what I could do about it. Apparently the Embassy needed some paperwork and were waiting on my attorney...Imagine that! When I talked to the attorney, he kept telling me...Mrs Porter, you stay here 2 weeks and I will have your paperwork and you can take your son home then. I was so torn...torn whether to believe him. Also the fact that I had a 20month old son at home who I missed dearly and needed me also. I did contact the agency and they said not to believe him...just come home as planned. By this time, they had their fill of this attorney and had quit working with him. They only had my case and one other left with him. I then met with a lady named Myriam. We went to dinner...I was bawling again.;) She told me the same thing the agency said...go home. So, I went home on Tuesday...after exchanging address, email, phone with the family. I prayed all the while I was waiting for my plane...Please Lord do not let me sit by anyone who is bringing home an infant, I don't think I can handle it. Guess what...I was in the same seats as a couple bringing home a 5month old. UGH! I was happy for them...very sad for me."
"When I got home I stayed in touch with the US Embassy. Pete Acosta was always very helpful and I think he was as happy as me when we brought Brayan home...that way I would quit calling him. Our case was investigated by the embassy until June 2003. In July of 2003, we FINALLY got a pink slip and an okay to travel to bring Brayan OUR SON home."
"When we traveled to pick him up, I stayed at the Marriott again. My agency was not happy with this decision. In fact, their facilitator did not meet me at the airport nor did he take me to the Embassy. When I inquired with the agency about how I was supposed to get to the Embassy and such, they stated that they figured the foster family would take me. I never received a congratulation phone call, is everything okay, or anything from DeColores while we were in Guatemala."
"When we brought Brayan home he had a double ear infection and bronchitis that required breathing treatments at home. Little did we know that this was just the first of many tests and doctors visits that we would go to. He still had tremors and was very uncoordinated when he came home. He also had unexplained elevation of his liver enzymes. Things that we attributed to orphanage life and poor nutrition and we thought would go away. We noticed that when he fell or bumped into things he would swell up like a big balloon. He also had bruises that would show up on his back or chest that would be there one day and then overnight they would disappear. If he coughed or sneezed it might cause petechia on his face or his blood vessels in his eyes to burst. We took him to a hematologist/oncologist who could find nothing wrong. He also had multiple trips to his wonderful pediatrician for breathing issues."
"In Feb. 2004, Brayan went to bed. When I went to check on him about a half hour or so later, he was cold and barely breathing. We spent 5 days in the local Children's hospital. He saw every specialist known to man and they could find nothing. He did have a swallow test that showed that when he ate, food would sometimes go into his lungs. We saw a therapist for treatment for this and Brayan did very well. We also saw a Gastrointestinal specialist for his continued elevated liver enzymes. The only thing he could think to do was a liver biopsy. The doctor told me that even if we found something, we would not be able to treat it...just watch it. I said No. My son had been through so much since he had been home."
"In May, Brayan had some dental work done under general anesthesia. He had 4 cavities filled and a crown placed on his front tooth that was broken. He was sure proud of his new teeth. If you told him Brayan your teeth are beautiful.....He would smile even larger."
"By June, Brayan was doing AWESOME...he hadn't needed a breathing treatment in over a month, his behavior had gotten much better and we were all starting to get into the routine of family life. We had all found our place. Then on June 14, 2004, I pulled into the driveway after working a 12hr. day shift at the hospital. My husband was screaming for me. As I walked in the door, Brayan took his last breathe. I immediately started CPR on him and waited for the paramedics to get there. The paramedics got there and rushed him to the local hospital. I cannot even begin to describe how it felt to do CPR on my son and then to know everything they were talking about in the ambulance. I am an adult critical care nurse...so all of the terminology was familiar to me. They worked on Brayan for over an hour at the ER. When they told me he was gone...I was in shock...disbelief......The autopsy report revealed a normal healthy 3 year old...who died of a bronchial asthma attack."
"Now that I am bawling, I will go on....After a few days, I called DeColores to tell them that Brayan had died. They told me that they were sorry and they were not surprised considering the attorney who was responsible for him in Guatemala. To this day, we have not received an email, phone call, card, or even a plant...that I would probably kill within a week......I guess I just expected too much from people who had been in our lives for basically 3 years........"
"Anyway, take this information, use it as a reminder to research, research, and research some more. Be informed...... I do not want anyone to suffer the agony that my family and I have. Brayan was with us 11month and 3 days. I miss him immensely and so does my family and the wonderful people who took care of him for 8 months in Guatemala."
"Peace,
Stephanie" ↓
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| Name: pwdrblu | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 3:26 PM |
That story is sooo sad!! Unfortunately, that is some of the risks with international adoptions... No One knows what is REALLY going on in the other country.
I am from Louisiana and I have heard of this agency. I have friends that have adopted internationally and they were lucky. Their children had no problems or minimal problems. But, NONE of them used this agency.
Paula ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 3:37 PM |
| Goodness, just think how much sunshine you brought to this little boy's life if only for such a short time.... ↑ |
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