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Name: cafe et beignets

[ Original Post ]

how does one come up with the $25k to $90k it costs to adopt an infant? We have been trying to adopt through our foster system for 3 years. When we did our HomeStudy we qualified to adopt and fostadopt at the same time but still nothing. We recently interviewed with an adoption attorney in a effort to expand our options. It seems one can either afford (or not) to adopt a child or you can afford to raise a child. What a catch 22 for good people who have so much to offer and only want to be good parents. ↓

Name: debtim | Date: Dec 14th, 2009 3:26 PM

I too know what you mean. We did the same thing. In New York, submitted our study for many children in blue book. nothing. We dont have the kind of money they want today. So we have come to the conclusion, it will be just us. And god bless my husband. he is ok with it. I feel a sort of loss that no one can understand and I have developed a stay away from others children. I use to love all of them. now I just dont. ↑

Name: cafe et beignets | Date: Dec 15th, 2009 1:47 AM

debtim, I hear you loud and clear. It's just heart breaking. I've read other stories of families wanting to adopt a second time but could not because the 1st adoption broke the bank. We just want to be parents. ↑

Name: debtim | Date: Dec 15th, 2009 7:45 PM

we do too. we have 3 wonderful dogs that give us so much love. I know not the same but we are happy. a child is just not in our future and we have come to terms with it. good luck. ↑

Name: cafe et beignets | Date: Dec 17th, 2009 12:33 AM

debtim keep something out there just in case... another adoptive mom I chat with gave up also and "moved on" two years later she and her husband we contacted by their birthmother who found an old parent profile of theirs and contacted them and now they have a beautiful little baby. Its just so hard sometimes but we are trying hard to prevail. and stories like that one give us hope. ↑

Name: debtim | Date: Dec 17th, 2009 3:05 PM

you know what with all the ones out there killing their kids. and the other ones that abuse them. I have given up and am happy with my life as it is. I have put that part away back in deep in my heart so it does not hurt anymore. there is nothing else to do. i hope you have better luck. ↑

Name: cafe et beignets | Date: Dec 18th, 2009 10:50 PM

I understand completely how you feel debtim. I am covinced that we do not get any responses from bm's because of my age (49). It seems to not matter at all that you have been put through the ringer by the adoption agency to "prove" you ability to parent and able to provide a safe, loving, stable home environment. You are practically treated like a criminal in an effort to be able to adopt. No, none of that matters, the only thing that matters is how much you are willing to spend to be able to bring a baby home. I keep hoping and praying that the right birthmother finds us through our efforts and our dream of parenting a little one will come true. ↑