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I know that there are many hopeful parents out there in search of a child that they will take very good care of. I am reaching out to the young ladies out there who have a feeling in their gut that this may not be the best. 12 years ago I allowed my mother, who had abused me for years physically and mentally, and stayed married to the husband who molested me adopt my then 2 year old son. I knew in my gut that it wasn't the right decision, but allowed her, and all the nay sayers out there to talk me into it. The world told me that at 18 I wasn't ready ready or capable of raising a child. I had my doubts as well, as my own childhood was a nightmare, but I still had that gut feeling. I ignored it. My son is now 14, and although after the adoption I stayed in his life actively, the pattern has repeated itself and my mom has abused him as well. Not to the degree that she did me, but abuse is abuse. I went on to marry an abusive husband and have two beautiful boys. I have full custody of them, and I have had my oldest son now for 8 months due to some circumstances in my mom's life. Now we are in a heated and bitter custody battle over him. I keep getting caught up in our judicial system because I relinquished my rights so many years ago. What I wouldn't do to get those years back with my son. I did not have the parenting skills so many years ago, but I learned. I worked hard and was dedicated to my kids. There were days that I cried and days I didn't eat, but my children are healthy, well adjusted and very respectful of me since they've seen me struggle so much for them. I don't want to advocate to anyone out there not to consider adoption, it's the most loving thing you can do for another human being, but I caution that you listen to your gut. If you're scared about becoming a parent, realize that even wives who are wealthy and secure are scared. You know deep inside what you are and are not capable of. Search deep before you make a decision, and don't allow anyone at all to influence you.. Only you know you. Don't sell yourself short. If you truely feel that adoption is the best for you, by all means, give the gift, but if you have the slightest inclination to the opposite, keep your baby and struggle and fight for what you believe in. You can do it. ↓
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