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| Name: baby2 | Date: Apr 15th, 2007 8:35 PM |
| Hello Dand531. My husband and I have a son through open adoption. It has been the best for us. Our birthmother is always available if I have medical questions or concerns regarding our son. I also want our son to know that he was adopted out of love both by us and his birthfamily. However, it's also possible that open adoption is not for everyone. It's hard to explain, but we feel that our son's birthfamily is another side to our family...I hope this helps you. Take care and best of luck...Erin ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: Apr 15th, 2007 8:38 PM |
| I'll answer this from the standpoint of a birth sibling and someone who is wanting to adopt as well. My sister was born before me and was relinquished through closed adoption. I never knew about her until I was 15 and found out on accident. My mom had never talked about her because it was too painful. She didn't get to hold her, see pictures, or anything, so she put her out of her mind the best that she could. I was angry and upset that I was cheated of knowing her, even through simple letters/pictures. We've since reunited, and my sister agrees that her life would have been so much better if she'd been able to "see someone of her birth family when she looked in a mirror." I think part of what makes being adopted difficult for those who have problems with it is that they have no sense of self in terms of physical traits, unexplained tastes and habits, etc. Also, birth parents and siblings suffer the years of wondering how the baby turned out and if they're healthy and happy. At the very least, I think semi-openness solves those problems and complete openness works great for some and not for others. That, I believe, is more individualized according to the parties involved. I think visits can complicate things further sometimes and cause more longing, jealousy, fear, etc. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Apr 15th, 2007 8:44 PM |
| Dear Dana- HI! We have an open adoption with our son's birthparents. We adopted him 9 months ago. It is all a matter of opinion, but we do prefer open adoption, but would honor the birthmom's wishes if she opted for an open adoption or closed. Dana, we are homestudy approved, and looking to adopt another child. We live in Colorado right now, but moving to Arizona next month, where our adoption agency is also licensed. My husband is an airline pilot, and I am a stay at home mom. Please check out our profile and see lots of pictures at : http://www.parentprofiles.c om/profiles/db18651.html If you would like to contact us, our email is [email protected] or my phone # is 720-427-1811. Thank you so much! God bless you and your baby in your decision....... Carolyn, Louis & Andrew ↑ |
| Name: Dana531 | Date: Apr 15th, 2007 9:01 PM |
| Dear Tattudemom: Thank you so much for your insight, it is very hard for me to decide what is best. I am glad that you and your sister have each other. God Bless, Dana ↑ |
| Name: jk_adoption | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 3:43 AM |
| Hello Dana. My husband and I have an open relationship with our son's birth mother, and that has worked out well for all of us so far. If our son begins to feel confused or insecure with visits in the future, then we may temporarily change our relationship to semi-open (letters, pictures, phone calls, etc.) until he is much older and able to understand the complexities of everything. I personally feel it is healthiest for a child to know where they came from and have some idea of who their birth family is. Most children will have a natural curiosity and longing to know their "roots" as they mature, and I think it can cause some stress and feelings of insecurity if they are unable to satisfy their curiosity and "need to know". However, I also can understand that their may be some situations in which a birth mother may choose to have a closed adoption because that is what she feels is best in her particular situation at the time. I think under those circumstances, at a minimum, it would be nice to have the birth mother's permission to contact her when the child is much older, if the child feels the need or desire to do so. I think that the most important thing in any adoption plan is for everyone involved to try to make sure that the child feels loved, safe, secure, proud of who they are, content, and happy. By the way, my husband and I are also looking to adopt one more time, so if you haven't already chosen a family for your little one, we'd love for you to consider us. You can learn more about us at http://johnandkarol.hopeto adopt.com/message.phtml W e would welcome any race, either gender, healthy or special needs such as drug exposure, health complications, premature birth, history of mental or other illnesses in the family, young siblings that may need to be placed together, etc. No matter what circumstances your baby is born into, please rest assured that we would love and cherish your child forever, as if he/she was our own. Our email address is [email protected] We wish you the best of luck with your difficult decisions - you are in our thoughts and prayers. Hope to hear back from you! Karol ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 2:49 PM |
| Hi Dana, This is one of those situation where you need to search your heart and figure out what you can live with. My husband and I are looking to give a child a good stable home. My husband is a computer programmer and I am a housewife. We would love your child as if it were our own. I would love to get to know you better and tell you more about us. Please email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 2:50 PM |
| Dana, I'm hoping to adopt a little girl and if you haven't already decided on particular parents for your baby and are having a girl, of course, I'd love to tell you about my family and me. On the other hand, if you're having a boy, are decided on parents, or just plain aren't interested, I would still love to talk further with you. I'm happy to share with you some of what I know my mom went through, what I've learned that my sister went through as the adoptee, and things they wish were done differently that might make it better for you and your baby. Please know, too, that if you say you aren't interested in me as a potential adoptive parent, I would certainly respect that and you don't have to worry I'll harass you. That's not my style and I'm waiting on the baby/child God has for me. I truly would be speaking in terms of my role as a birth sibling. Email me at [email protected] if you're interested in either. Take care, Amy ↑ |
| Name: vrs31proverbs31 | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 3:05 PM |
| Dana531 To have a open or closed adoption is a tuff decision all on it's own. My husband and I grew up with adoption all around us and we have two adopted boys and looking to adopt again, we have known people who have been adopted, who have adopted and who have placed their child for adoption. Open adoption is not for everyone, But I think having a open adoption is not only great for the child but the birth parent(s) as well. I have found that the not knowing how your child is doing, if they are ok ,are they alive or not is harder for the birth parent(s). I have a cousin who sees her Birth mom allot and has always know who her birth mom is and has no problems she calls her birth mom by her name and my aunt is MOM. I have another family member who was adopted she never knew her birth parent(s) and has no urge to find them I have some friends that feel the same way. I have had friends that do want to find their birth parent(s). I have a nother family member who placed her child years ago she is happy with her decision of doing so she just wishes she knew how the child was doing, what he looks like all the stuff that a birthparent(s) would think about. These are different case and all different side of adoption. Again open adoption is not for ever birth parent(s) or for every adoptive Parent(s) but it should be talked about between you the birth Parent(s) and the adoptive couple to see if you are both OK with it and how open you want your adoption to be.Just keep in mind with open adoption the child will address you by your name and not mom. I have two adopted boys, we dont have a open adoption with their birth mom she wanted a closed adoption, that is her option and we respect it.. We would have like a open or semi open but she did give us pictures of her self and her family members for us to give to the boys. Our boys have know from day one that they are adopted and they get to see the pictures of their birth family. Dana I hope this helps some if you have any aother question please feel free to email us at [email protected] GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS ↑ |
| Name: nyjocool | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 6:34 PM |
| Hi Dana, I think the type of adoption you do depends on what you feel comfortable with, as well as what the adoptive parents feel comfortable with. I personally think closed adoptions are not healthy, but would respect a birthmother's wishes if that is what she thought was best. I think it is best to keep some form of communication availble-letters, cards and pictures being the best. I like semi-open adoption. You are remaining in contact without the contact being too intrusive in each other's lives. I think the birthmother has a comfort level knowing the child is doing OK. I believe we did email each other a few weeks ago (in late March). My friend Tina put me in touch with you. Please feel free to contact me if you want to email me or talk to me about adopting your baby, we are still very interested. You can visit our website for adoption information-it's http://ouradoptionplan.com Good luck to you! Joanne ↑ |
| Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 16th, 2007 9:29 PM |
| My personal experience is that Open adoption is always best for the child whenever possible. We have a very open adoption and I strongly recommend them. Dreams ↑ |
| Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 18th, 2007 12:02 AM |
| Open is Wonderful in the right circumstances. ↑ |
| Name: Dreamsofchild | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 11:11 PM |
| If anyone needs information on Open adoption, Semi Open adoption or closed adoption you can google them or just let us know here. Best wishes Dreams [email protected] ↑ |
