To all my friends with broken hearts.
One year ago today he was born.... We had to fly 8.5 hours to get to him. We walked into the hospital, his I.D. band said it all. Cody Wayne Joseph Jackson. We were full of tears, joy and love. I looked at his new Daddy as he picked him up and craddled him, like they were old friends, Love, tears... I'm your Daddy he said. Over there is your Mom, we have waited so long for you little man.. The nurse gave us a rocking chair, That is where I sat, falling in love. Over the next 5 days he was never alone, Mom and Dad sat watching every breath. 4 rolls of film were developed, I still have them all! We were getting packed, to bring him home...Thats when we got a ring on the phone. The voice said you have a message at the front desk, and a small package too. Daddy said I will pack the car, and meet you there. As the car turned the corner I read the note...."I'm sorry to say, I just cant do it. My heart got to attached the last few days. I know I said I could do it, I was wrong". I, was at that moment, not very strong! I could not speak, or move for that matter. Cody did not understand his little boy was leaving us forever! I never understood why God took him away, untill that warm August day.
You see our son Collin, was born Aug.25th. just 5 months after we came home on the plane, leaving behind, that sweet little face. The tears for Cody are flowing today. A year old a big boy! I feel like I'm cheating, still loving him..... There is a reason I know real well...why God only wanted us to be together for a little while. He had a mommy that needed him more, and God had such a blessing in- store.... collin wayne Jackson was ment to be.. Thats what all the tears were for you see! I just put him to bed and hugged him tight, as I said good night. He is sooo worth all the tears and and the sleepless nights, we cried befor he fixed our hearts!
My God, I understand... why the broken heart. Please lord, give my friends the peace as well. You see they have been crying just as much as can be, it's time God, to give them the peace as you did me!
Hugs to you all
Jody ↓
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| Name: momof1 | Date: Mar 15th, 2007 3:08 AM |
| Jody...That was beautiful. It really does show that God has a plan for everything in life. ↑ |
| Name: kimbertz | Date: Mar 15th, 2007 5:07 AM |
| Jody I know your pain and your love... every time a fertility procedure did not 'work for us or an adoption fell through I cried. and I blamed every one and I made promises to god. And I thought why me what did i do that was so bad that god doesn't want me to be a mommy....until the day my son adopted at birth came home and then I knew..if any of those other things had worked I wouldn't have my little boy who is the love of my life....Kim ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Mar 15th, 2007 5:12 AM |
| Oh Jody, that was so beautiful. You really summed it all up. I am sorry though you went through pain. I think we all here understand how you feel and are touched by your post. ↑ |
| Name: nyjocool | Date: Mar 15th, 2007 10:14 AM |
Jody,
That was beautiful! I so needed to read that! I have been so downhearted lately! ↑ |
| Name: Futuremom2be | Date: Mar 15th, 2007 3:12 PM |
Thanks Jody. My husband and I are in the process of waiting to be selected by a birthmom. The wait some days is so tough. Thank you for some relief and most of all some hope for the future.
Karen ↑ |
| Name: kcg.65hotmail | Date: Mar 16th, 2007 2:38 AM |
That was so beautiful!!! Congrats on your baby ... I am so happy you were blessed with your angel!!! I am curious, did you keep in contact with the BM ? Would she send you a pic if you wanted? Just curious, I can't imagine the loss....
But I am happy for your blessing!!! ↑ |
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