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| Name: melanie | Date: Mar 30th, 2006 11:42 PM |
| I would be very upset, who is she to step in and take over? Is she on drugs? God, i would have many questions and would tell my husband to ask her why would she not respect his relationship when they did not have one. People mess up all the time and i really would not feed into her bull because it seems to me that she is trying something and only messed up freaks would direspect the situation, Who knows the courts might say its his turn to have the child God Bless You and Your Family!!! ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 7:41 PM |
| I have been with my man for 7 years we have a four year old and I am 22 weeks pregnate. He has a 2 year old with a woman he cheated on me with. We have her two nights a week at our house with us. If he is the father he has rights she is trying to control him not actually worry about thier daughter. If he wants her to be a part of your family he should fight for that. Good for you that you want to do it together. That was a hard discision in our situation. Make sure If hes paying that child support he gets his parental rights also. ↑ |
| Name: ava | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 12:38 AM |
| Hi Kassy, I'm ava, i wanted to ask you how do you accept the child that your boyfriend had outside your relationship? My boyfriend cheated on me while I was pregnant and me and the girl ended up having babies three months apart? She claims that the baby is his but he says that the little girl isn't his. How do you accept another women's child? This is just so hard for me to deal with!! We are going to get a DNA test for the baby in two weeks. ↑ |
| Name: Rebecca | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 3:22 AM |
| Why is all the stress put on you anyway? You did not make that baby. If it was a fling i would tell my husband that he better set that girl straight, because there would be no way in this world my husband would be left alone with her, its obvious that he never wanted her to begin with and now they have a child that he knew nothing about!omg i feel like the law has to take action here,no really he needs to stand up and be a man and tell her that you are going to be there with him no matter what she wants its not up to her!!!!!!That really upsets me to hear a women do that to her child!!!!MAD ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 4:38 PM |
| Hi Ava, We fought for a 6 months so bad about it that he moved out for six months and I had to decide how much I loved him and if I wanted to be with him I had to accept his daughter who is a part of him. I still have a hard time with the mother being around. She was a one night stand so I know she doesnt mean anything to him but I hate the fact that she was with him. The baby is cute and well behaved and sometimes it seems like a burden. In the end I know it will help us all be a stronger family and stronger people to struggle through this. ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 5:39 PM |
| Ava you can email me at [email protected] of [email protected]. ↑ |
| Name: p.c. | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 9:03 PM |
| If he is paying child support, he has every right to regualr visitation. Unless the mother has proven to the courts that you are a physical threat to the child, she cannot forbid the child to spend time with her father and you together. He should have regular overnight visitations (the child spending overnights at your house). If he does not, or if the mom is not allowing it, then you really should make the investment and take her to court about it. What this child's mother is doing is illegal. You have recourse! ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 9:50 PM |
| Go to court and let a judge set it up to where even if its supervised visits,it will be done by a caseworker NOT her. It almost sounds as if she wants your husband back?? Hes paying child support so hes got visitation rights. Who set the $500 in motion,her ? Or has a judge already been involved in this ?A caseworker would only need to be involved long enough for the child to get comfortable with your husband being her father but then after that it should be normal unsupervised visits. Some women think they run the show of how things are gonna be,show her wrong and take her to court!! She just wants CONTROL!!!! Dont put up with her garbage,take her to court and let a judge decide how things are gonna be!! ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: Apr 3rd, 2006 10:47 PM |
| Hi Lisa, Thanks for your info, the only problem with having a case worker is that it costs alot and we have a family of 6 and her child support ontop of that is pretty pricey. The courts set the amount based on his income and also said he is able to visit his child with reasonable notice and she is allowing him she is just not allowing me to be there. I really think u are right that she is trying to control this situation and using her daughter as leverage.(NICE PARENTING HUH?) well we will be doing it all together and my husband said he has no emotional link to this child because of the mother not telling him and he said that his family will not be split up due to this ignorance that i know she will pay for in the end some how. God will make things right and people like her should not have the right to raising a child. Thanks again and i appreciate everyones input it is helping me out alot!!!! Your all Great!!! ↑ |
| Name: marie | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 12:42 AM |
| She has no right to state the you cannot be there. Is he not allowed to take her places? Does he have to visit his child only with her being present? This does not sound right. He should pick her up and take her places where you can meet them. If the mother gets all upset about that and refuses to let him access to his child because of it, she's in violation of court order. I was very upset because I was told by the courts that my separated (but no divorce filed) husband could have his lovers overnight when he had our child with him, and I as his wife could not keep the child away when his girlfriends were spending the night. If the courts told me that I as his wife could not hold back on visition because of girlfriends being present, then Nadine, most certainly, your husband's exGIRLFRIEND cannot hold back on visitation because you, his WIFE, is present! Where do you live that caseworkers on such matters cost money?! I am shocked that there are charges for such matters. This should be dealt with in family court for just minimum filing charges of $25 or so! If I had forbid my ex to see his child, for a mere $25 filing cost, he would have seen me in court for violation of parental rights, and won, even if I had had an attorney and he did not. It is that basic. The only way he would have lost would be if I was able to prove that he was endangering her life. ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: Apr 4th, 2006 10:13 AM |
| Hi Marie, We live in Nova Scotia, Canada and we have asked around and even social workers will not help. We will be going back to court its just a shame that she wont even send a picture of that little gorl. thanks again !! ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: May 21st, 2006 1:58 AM |
| Hi Nadine! I don't know if you still come here anymore or not but I just wanted to stop by and ask how things were going for you and your family these days? ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: May 26th, 2006 8:02 PM |
| Hey lisa, Thanks again for chatting, My family still has not seen the child not even a picture. This has been going on for almost a year and it has taken a great deal in the beginning from our family but now it has only made us stronger. We actually have never been happier. I know that we would like to see the child but at the same time we have a family with four children and we believe that one day when we take her to court that we will meet her and slowly introduce her in our lives. She is not a baby and has lived her whole life thinking another man was her dad and we also know having a 10 year old ourselves they are more mature now then they ever were so she probobly has her life made with friends and things like that. I really think that my husband has thought long and hard about this 10 year old girl and he says he just would like to know what she looks like and for her to know that he did not abandon her, he just did not know she was born. We also still have doubts about the dna tests because they were supposed to do a second test and did not end up doing it so seeing what she looks like even in a picture would be helpful...Thanks again and if u want you could add me at msn ..... [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: Jun 7th, 2006 6:19 PM |
| Well just wanted to update the situation in case anyone was curious, My husband has decided to go and see this child without me and take our babysitter who is a good friend of mine to a mutual setting, which was against what we decided about standing together but that is what that mother wants and now she gets what she wants..... I feel now that i no longer wish to be part of this childs life and that my children will not be included in that childs life until they are alot older. I am in no way trying to make him choose but he decided to back down to what we agreed to and i also feel like i want nothing to do with him.. So in saying all this to all the girls who make a decission not to tell the fathers about a child they had then just keep it that way unless you are willing to accept that that person will eventually have a family and the wife of that man you decided to keep a child away from is just as important as the father !!!! This kind of bull tears families apart !!!! TOTALLY SAD AND TOTALLY ANGRY ↑ |
| Name: sally | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 3:14 AM |
| Nadine i feel so sorry for you, you must feel so betrayed, I would be furious too. Have you got relatives or close friends that can help you through this difficult time? I really wish you all the best because if I was in you situation i would be so depressed. ↑ |
| Name: Nadine | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 3:24 AM |
| Hi Sally, I do have friends and family but they never accepted my relationship. I feel very depressed but it is more to do with the fact that I gave everything to him for so long that I am just now realizing how weak our relationship is and how i seem to be just a shadow of his life. I really dont want to sound pitiful but I now know that decissions made by us is really made by him! Thanks again and it is nice to see that someone cares about another person who is now lost ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 6:12 PM |
| I would be upset. I am sorry but if my husband is paying child support for a child he had with another women and she wasn't going to allow him to see that child unless he went there and without me. I say take her to court. He should be able to have not only visitation rights to that child but I feel he should be able to have her at his house along with you. ↑ |
| Name: Tabetha | Date: Jun 17th, 2007 3:10 AM |
| Isent there a law out there?? i dont think a man should have to pay for a child that he knew nothing about! holy a man has to bond with their child! Isent that cosidered kidnapping? I dont know you guys would have to take her to court and fight!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Mixedmama2007 | Date: Jun 25th, 2007 2:10 PM |
| Well you both have every right to be in his daughter's life, you are his wife not his girlfriend. Plus that 500. takes from your house. I would go to the court and get visits, if you have no problem with the girl then it should be fine with them for you both to be in her life...Keep your head up and do things the right way...I will pray for you and your family... Hugs Colleen in Boston ↑ |
| Name: dmt | Date: Jun 25th, 2007 10:16 PM |
| Thats bull!!!!! She is using that child as a manipulating tool. Sounds like she might want your husband. Do you have the money to take her to court so he can get his parental rights on paper. They will let the child visit in your home unless there is a reason why it shouldn't. If she wants the money she should cough up the visitations. That is your husband right as a father. good luck, Michelle ↑ |
| Name: junior | Date: Jul 3rd, 2007 7:44 AM |
| yo ↑ |
| Name: hhgfhfgh | Date: Jul 12th, 2007 7:25 PM |
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| Name: fye849 | Date: Jul 12th, 2007 7:37 PM |
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