|
hi, i am new at this and this will also be my first contact with parents of autistic children, like myself. I have a 7yr old son, Aidan, and he has a 6yr old sister and a 1and a half month old sister. What i want to know is how do i deal with the fighting and bullying and the not understanding? how do i explain things to them? My son also does not speak and is still on nappies. I would also like to know if anyone knows where i can find vocabulary building dvd's in afrikaans as this is my sons language. ↓
|
|
| Name: ruth | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 7:03 AM |
| Hi drika: I'm also new and i have to say i'm so happy to find out that there are parents going through the same i'm going through, I'm still trying to find thing to help my son understand but they don't work for so long one of the thing his therapist told me the kids with autism a least some of them are really visual i have to make like flsh cards for him explaning thing using pictures to explain a NO and because they have a hard time understanding the negative a least that is for my son that may help you is a lot of work but it may be useful for you ↑ |
| Name: roisin | Date: Feb 4th, 2007 2:53 PM |
| hi i'm new too, drika your son should have a speech and language therapist and a child play therapist to help you and your son with the kind of stuff ruth, hey ruth, was talking about. i also seen a site bumblebee.com seemed pretty good. i'm not sure about the language thing, though they did ask what country i was from. please keep me updated though i'm very intrested in wether places cater for different languages. I am soooo glad to have other parents to chat with. i'm feeling increasingly isolated. out of intrest is this a uk or american based site. ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 5th, 2007 6:46 AM |
| Hi Roisin, thanks for answering me, its so nice to have people around who can help with all those niggling questions and the advise is great. I did go into the bumblebee site but they only cater for english children and as i am in south africa my son is afrikaans ( it's almost like dutch, it sounds the same) so it is getting increasingly difficult to find material that i can use to improve his language. I have no idea if this is uk. or american site (it just helps to know they are there). What have you been using as an aid for speech? ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Feb 5th, 2007 10:42 PM |
| hi roisin: is nice to have the support and knowing you are not alone, I don't think it matters from where you can from, I have check the bumblebee site and they never asked me about that they gie me a lot of book that i can get to read. I got a lot of information with my son therapist but she move and the new therapist i have a hard time connecting with her is just not the same and i can see the jonas con feel that too. but anyways i use a lot of visiual thing with jonas and constantly repeating the same thing until it gets in to his little head. ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 9:16 AM |
| Hi Ruth, Hi Roisin : I have been trying a lot of new things with aidan and it seems that the sign language will work, i just have to get his stiff fingers a little looser. He showed me last night that he wants coffee and he actually SAID "more" with the sign. I seem to have the same problem with building a relationship with a therapist, if aidan doesnt like her THAT'S IT!!! What kind of pictures do you use for Jonas? ↑ |
| Name: roisin | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 3:09 PM |
| oh , i'm sorry you's are having trouble with therapists. all i can think of for the minute is if you use the PECS system and translate it yourself for instance a flash card of a toilet but instead of toilet write in the africaan. you know what though im gonna ask ciarans educational psychologist about this there must be something out there for you. see ya later. ↑ |
| Name: roisin | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 3:23 PM |
| i may have found something, there is a site called the national autistic society the have a section called in community languages they have a list of lots of languages now i didnt see africaan but there was a link and a phone number maybe this could be helpful. its based in the uk so it maybe a long distance call lol! ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 5:13 PM |
| hello drika and roisin: I just have to say how happy I’m to have you both as my support system it has been really good to be able to talk to somebody that understand what I’m talking about, so thank you so much. Jonas is going to be having another evaluation soon and I’m so exited because is going to clear lots of thing that we don't know if it is asperger or high functional o what it is? I check the web drika gave to me about pdd-nos and I took the evaluation they have and although is not a diagnosis it gave jonas an score of 182 which is a severe pdd so will see what the neurosycologist is going to tell me, and the pictures I use for jonas his other therapist the one jonas loved gave to me but she also told me if I need to made up pictures I’m going to have to so jonas can learn we notice the jonas learn faster when we use sign language and pictures, for example jonas is so scare when he needs a hair cut so we have pictures of a boy having a hair cut and I read it to him like a story, although cutting his hair is a big task now is not taking so long to get him in the chair to do it , we use it also for safety but jonas is still not getting it is taking so long to understand that that is scary. So you have to try and which one it will work. about the stiff fingers try to give him a little soft ball so he can move his fingers and may be that will help jonas doesn't have that problem but we have to give him the ball to keep his hand busy. ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 4:28 AM |
| Hi, which web site is it that you can do the evaluation to get the score? You had mentioned the score of 182.... ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 6:24 AM |
| hi itl, the websites name is www.branchild.com ( look under PDD NOS) it is fairly good at explaining things and you can use the evaluation with your therapists and doctors. hope this helps. ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 6:36 AM |
| Hi Roison, thanks for going to all the trouble to find out for me, i appreciate it very much. I went and had a look at the website but they dont have anything in afrikaans, i think i will try the afrikaans flash cards and see. let me know what the psychologist sais. Thanks again. ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 7:05 AM |
| Hi ruth, great to talk again! I am so happy for you, i know what it feels like to "not know" and i hope the evaluation gives you the results you need. Aidan scored 192 on the evaluation. Like i said to roison,I think i should draw the pictures (i can draw by the way) and put the afrikaans word underneath and use it in conjunction with the sign language like you do and see if it might work. The signing is going slowly and i would really like to speed it up. i just want to be able to have a conversation with my baby boy ( okay,okay he's 7 but he's still my baby). I hope i can use this to teach him safety aswell because he just runs out into the street without a second look and i am so scared he gets bumped by a car. It is so difficult to keep him safe but everywhere he goes he is basically locked in ( high fences, locked gates, no cars etc.) Last year, he went to visit his grandparents on the farm for the day, it was barely two hours when my husband phoned to say that his parents have lost my son. He was missing on a farm of about 60 hectares with a river running through it !!!!!!!! A huge search party was formed with neighboring farmers and their workers, but it was my husband and daughter who eventualy found him three hours later by the river. my daughter was leaning out the car window to see if she could see him but she heard him crying instead. My poor baby had gotten stuck in loose razorwire just 19 steps away from the river (he cant swim) He had gotten caught and was stuck there for 3 hours on a bloody hot morning (about 43 degrees average). I still say to this day that my son had an angel taking care of him that day, who knows how much different it could have turned out. Needless to say he does not visit there anymore without me being there with him, but the thing is it is this kind of escaping that i need to put a stop to. You have the right idea there about the soft ball. It could work!!! If only i could get him to hold it in his hand and not throw it as he does with everything. I am deffinately going to give it a try. Thanks. ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 2:28 PM |
| hi ltl: welcome if you have any questions feel free to ask , is nice to have people to help you and be your support, so just ask we are here to help you ↑ |
| Name: ruth | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 2:37 PM |
| hi drika: nice to heard from you too,i know how you feel about the safety thing , i worry about jonas a lot i can let him go practicaly any where by himself, hey i have a question, you have other children how did you teach your daughter not to copie the thing your son does? i have a 2 years old and i'm having a hard time because she does everything her brother does and is because she sees jonas doing things he is not suppost to so when i say no she does the same the jonas start crying as loud as possible etc, the therapist told me to be carefull she may be dooing that for attention and to don't focus in jonas al the time i'm trying that but is not working what am i not doing right? ↑ |
| Name: Fran | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 3:43 PM |
Hi Ruth,
I have the exact same problem as you. My 2 year old (typical)son copies everything his 4 year old (autistic) brother does. My 2 year old talks the same, acts the same, is learning the bad examples, and is throwing tantrums now like his brother. It is like having two of the same at times and very frustrating. I try to give my 2 year old lots of individual attention when my autistic son is at preschool and also after he goes to bed at night, I let my 2 year old stay up later for some 1 on 1. I also have another child come over and play with him twice a week to get him some more normal interaction besides just his autistic brother. I am a stay at home mom so they don't go to daycare.
It is very hard and I don't really have the answers, but I do also think my 2 year old acts like his brother to get attention. He sees us reacting to his brother and thinks he wants a reaction too. I just try to give my 2 year old lots of attention and positive attention and hope that as he gets older he will understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Good luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: Fran | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 5:00 PM |
Hello,
I have purchased the baby bumble bee dvd's and I have to tell you that they have really helped my 4 year old autistic son. My 2 year old typical son loves them as well. I have friends that want to borrow our videos for their children. A friend of mine with a son with down syndrome just borrowed them so the dvd's can help with a lot of different disabilities. Just thought I would pass on my experience with them! ↑ |
| Name: mondo | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 5:41 PM |
| perhaps their bullying is due to not understanding why you spend more time with him than with them..; I used to have this worry of my daughter not understanding in the back of my mind every time I was pulled away from my her due to her brother's (autistic) needs but i would explain to her as it happened that he needed extra help from both me and his big sister (her) trying to give her a role in it all and begin to foster protective instincts for her little brother and make her aware over time of little matters we can take for granted like her wonderful ability to speak, play with other children, etc; we would also do things just the two of us of course; it is years later, she is 21 and he is 19- she is a balanced, happy college student and has never complained of having felt left out and she loves her brother very much. Kids are smart, its never to early to instill in them their unique role in the family and responsibility for one another. = ↑ |
| Name: drika | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 8:14 AM |
Hi ruth,fran,mondo...........
There is so much to tell you that i dont know where to begin. Aidan is 7 now and his sister Kyla is 6. Over the years it has been difficult trying to balance out the proper relationship with each child. I have to say that i am convinced that i made my share of mistakes with both my children, not giving this one enough attention... not disciplining that one properly...more protective of the one than the other... oh i can go on and on and most of this will be my guilty conscience speaking. I think it takes a consciece effort to give each child that individual attention. Aidan get attention whenever he wants or needs it, Kyla gets her attention whenever Aidan is not around to disturb us, whether it be while im sittng on the loo or changing baby's diaper, it doesnt matter at least she's getting it. I didnt really have a problem with kyla copying aidans behaviour, I can be very strict when it comes to manners and because she is normal i immediately let her know that it was Taboo! Oh she tried it every now and then but she soon lost interest when she saw saw couldnt get away with it. What did irritate me was that she would cry softly but for like an hour long without even a tear in her eye and when i would look at her she would stop to glare at me and then carry on, In the mean time aidan has a sensitive nature so he would cry with her. So yes, i did the rain dance many many times over !!!! ( the rain dance was a song and dance about rain that would instantly calm them down and give them a reason to laugh instead. silliness has its purpose). I would often sit on the floor with a child at each side playing with their own toys and giving a running commentary at each ones skills and joining in their individual fun ( try playing with cars on your left and building puzzles or blocks on your right) I wouldnt say you are doing anything wrong Ruth as mothers of such special children we do what we can and it's usually the best to just believe that God gave us these children because he knew we could raise them with love and courage, just try to give your two year old attention even when you are busy with Jonas. Say for instance you have jonas on your lap, every now and then look up and ask what she is doing and can you see. She just needs to know that even while Jonas is there, She still gets your attention and love. I eventually realised that i wasnt giving Kyla the attention she wanted and i had to change to giving a lot more hugs and kisses and tickles. It has often made me feel inadequate as a mother and now i have my 2 month old baby to add to my organised disaster. HERE WE GO AGAIN !!!. You know ruth, i used to walk around the house with aidan on my hip and i would have kyla by the hand and we would just talk.... about the flowers and the birdies and all the ants and whatever, Aidan would be quiet in my arms so i could talk to Kyla, try it. A constant interest, whether it be a look or a question or a laugh for her could do the world of wonder. ↑ |
|
|
