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hi there, i am a single mother of a autistis daughter. natasha is 5 and we found out she had autism just after her 3rd birthday. her father won't except that natasha has autism and says "she will grow out of it" i also have a 6 year old daughter shania. she does not understand why natasha scratches she and can't talk to her. so anybody with some advice on how to get my ex involved and explain to my daughter why natasha can't play with her would be great..... i have tried everything. ↓
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| Name: lizzy | Date: Oct 30th, 2005 5:04 PM |
| tellyou doghter that natasha is "different" and can't play ↑ |
| Name: lisa | Date: Nov 3rd, 2005 3:31 PM |
| i understand your frustration on so many levels. my 6yr old daughter ha ADD/PDD. her father is in denial as well and thinks "she will just grow out of it". I only have one child but in school and social settings other children do ask what is wrong with her . they tend to get annoyed and frustrated with her. i feel sorry for my child because she simply doesn't understand. what really worked for me was joining a support group. the one i attend has free babysitting from volunteers from the church who want to be with these kids. i go to my meeting and everyone there has a child with some sort of developmental issue, autism, downs, etc. it has been very helpful for me to not feel so alone. i was so releaved to know that there are other parents out there that feel just like i do. somedays i want to scream and cry from the frustration. i try very hard to pray and stay strong for my child. as for her father, i have come to terms with the fact that you can't change people. they are either going to get on board or not. i used to try to fuss , demand and push for him to be a parent. then i realized that all that energy i was wasting on him could be used better elsewhere, like my daughter or myself for that matter. i had to learn to let go of trying to control . it has brought me alot of peace. the best thing to remember anytime you get frustrated with someones behavior is YOU CAN ONLY GET FROM SOMEONE WHAT THEY WILL GIVE YOU. stop beating yourself up. be the best parent you can be by loving your daughters. the support group would probably help benefit your 6yr old to understand her sister better or atleast help you with suggestions to help her understand better. if you have tried this route, maybe a therapist would be good for you to help deal. it is very hard to be a single parent , but to have a special needs child makes it even harder. no offense , but isn't it funny how men are susposed to be made out of steel but women are tougher. if you look around at the web sites and chat rooms it's mostly all women who are reaching out , trying to get things done, fighting for their children. take care . anytime you want to talk, write back. ↑ |
| Name: Cbeck | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 3:48 AM |
| I also am a mother with an autistic child going thru a 2 year ongoing custody battle. We are ordered to meet in OK every other weekend for visitation. I live in TX and him in KS! My son is taken out of his special school and father won't beleive his diagnosis so puts him in daycare. I have written the courts..nothing. They tell me to get a attorney...I have one. Is there any suggestion on what I can do or write too someone that can get this over with so he can live a stable life? [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: emily | Date: Dec 2nd, 2005 6:52 PM |
| u can trust me to be the perfet sitter ↑ |
| Name: Tiff | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 6:30 PM |
| I had this problem with my husband. At 1st he said there was nothing wrong and then he wanted it in black and white. When that didn't work I made him go to the autistic center with us and he had to do in the room with us as well. Once we were in there, I told the doctor my husband couldn't accept it. That is when she got in his face and told either accept it or YOU will make it worse on him.From that day on he has been the greatest father and most understanding man, it even strengthened our relationship. I hope I helped. GOOD LUCKI ↑ |
| Name: julie | Date: Feb 22nd, 2006 7:33 PM |
| As a mother of an autistic child I do symperthise for the lack of support you are recieving. I grew up with an Autistic brother. I fully understand the consequences the lack of understanding your husband is portraying and what effect it will have on your child in later years if you do not resolve this problem. my advice to you is to join a support group for autistic children get to know the other parents and organise a social occasion. Using this method whether in your own home or at another venue will throw your husband in at the deep end. seeing differant ages and stages of autism will help your husband realise and except that his daughter will need his help love and support in her coming years. Bonds that are broken early and frustration that your child will encounter by your husbands ignorance will remain with your child. your childs behaviour will get better with lots of love and support . I dont suggest that you tell your other daughter that her sister is differant and that she cant play like other children because with persaverance you will find ways that the two of them can interact together, my own way was to use swimming as a positive approach, it was a sport all my family enjoyed . a mini trampoline was a way we interacted the children it taught our autistic son to line up and take turns, 5 jumps each and back to the end of the line it gave him routine and security. find rigid games with rigid rules to give them both time to applaud each others efforts. good luck. ↑ |
| Name: jason | Date: Feb 23rd, 2006 8:27 PM |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Feb 25th, 2006 7:10 AM |
| I have autism but you can hardly tell anymore. I didnt talk till I was 6 and even them it was mumbled. I went through speach therapy and to a school called The Childrens Center and my mother got me to star doing the on thing that I was exceptional at which was drawing and it brought me out of my "shell' so iff you need resourses let me know I have some that was used with me and we are now using on my lil brother ↑ |
| Name: poo | Date: Mar 6th, 2006 5:54 PM |
| Name: dot | Date: Mar 6th, 2006 9:26 PM |
Send him this website:
http://www.nat
ionalautismassociation.org
/
↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 3:56 PM |
| I too am in the same situation but going thru a bitter custody battle. The military dad lives in KS and I in TX, we have to meet in OK every 2 weeks to exchange. The boys are now 3 & 5. The 5 year old is autistic and the father doesn't want to believe it either. I have him in ARD at pre school and he refuses to put him in the class in KS. I don't know what to do as far as trying to get the courts to let him stay in TEXAS for his education, doctors, etc. I have tried writing congressmen..everything..it is almost 2 years now and he is taking this horribly bc of the changes. Any suggestions? ↑ |
| Name: Donna | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 7:18 PM |
Hey there yourself,
I am a single mom of a six yr old daughter Madison, and a four yr old autistic son, Julian. My ex-husband does not accept the diagnosis either. He is abusive as well, so he and I do not communicate at all. He alternately will tell my daughter that "there's nothing wrong with Julian" or will ask her if mommy dropped or hurt him. I imagine for your six year old, like mine, she is very confused and her father's denial does not help. May I suggest counseling for her. Just be patient (ha ha). For Madison, I found that she was very jealous of the time and attention, Julian was getting. Your daughter may be angry too. Now that she is in counseling, Maddy offers to help with her brother more. As for your ex, good luck. It is not your job to play mommy to him as well. He will need to decide whether or not he wants to be a man and a father. You cannot make him see what is in front of him, and the more time and energy you invest in trying to bring him around, the more resentful and depressed you will become. Save your energy, and check out available resources to help ease your burden. ↑ |
| Name: kathy | Date: May 1st, 2006 4:52 AM |
| I am a single mom of a 4 yr. old autistic daughter. I tell my child's classmates that she is still learning how to play, or be a friend, or learning how to talk. Maybe you can help her to learn how...It seems to generate compassion for her with the other children and helps explain her difference's in a simple way. Perhaps you can get your ex to read, Temple Grandin's book, Thinking in Pictures....she is autistic and sucessful and this gives us reason for hope. All of us with autistic children. Maybe that is what he needs. ↑ |
| Name: Linda | Date: Jul 22nd, 2006 11:51 PM |
I have an autistic daugher that is now 19 years old. And she scratches herself. She has scars from the many years she has done it. It was hard for children to understand why brit did not talk. Brit's dad has never been there for her or been around her. I also found out when she was 3. I used to tell my older daughter that brit was special that God didnt want her to talk. I show brit pictures and make her choose one. My step dad wrote a poem about brit. The title is come into my worle where i can play with you. Well I dont know if i helped. It's a challenge. I have a hard life and dread it sometimes only God has got me thru it. Jennifer if the man really loves you and the childen he will be there. If you need to chat feel free to email me back. You are in my prayers.
Linda Kimbrouth ↑ |
| Name: mitch | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 4:30 AM |
| I also have 2 daughters on 18 and one 10 the 10 year old is autistic and was a little fur ball when she was younger too she has mellowed throughout the years and is now quite a thoughtful wee girl,her and her older sister developed a great relatinship throughout the years (they also have their moments)your older daughter could be a good role model for the younger one if you explain that she can,t help/thinks differently etc would love to chat some more with you ↑ |
| Name: kristen1313 | Date: Aug 8th, 2006 4:49 PM |
| take him back to family court and ask the judge to order him to get some education on autism and some grief counseling ( cause we do grieve when we found out even if it was suspected) my son is now 8 and we just told both of them (my autistic one and my typical child) what was going on this year. chris (my typical ) has problems with it because his brother is so agressive. true my older on is high functioning but it still does not change the facts of the matter. my oldest has been physically agressive since my other one came home. we had to protect the little one because the older would climb into the crib and start jumping in it. it was very scary and he did not have good language skills at that point. to this day even on meds he is still hyper agressive and no matter how much we explain it it is still hard for him to accept but as time goes on....it will get easier as far as the sibling understanding goes. in a couple of years she will ok to go to sibling support groups;) i am looking forward to next year when my youngst can go. but for now he gets to go to counseling for his feelings on the subject and teaching him what is going on and he gets to vent with out out me saying now honey its not nice to say that. ↑ |
| Name: jacksmom | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 5:03 AM |
Jack's story....
After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew.
Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate.
What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more!
Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com
We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor. Don't use supps until you research things for yourself. Cilantro for example...should possibly not be used until some other detox has been done.
Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) [email protected] ↑ |
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