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| Name: Liz Roti | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 6:29 PM |
| I think you would have to look at how well he is doing in the current situation, Being a stay at home mom isn't for everyone. I Love being a stay at home mom but it is the hardest job i've ever had, if your son is do good where he is I don't see how you would be selfish for working. (praying always helps me). good luck, ↑ |
| Name: Boston Phoenix | Date: Jul 27th, 2006 3:27 PM |
| Hunter's Mom, I am new to this site, but was struck by your post. I am the working mother of two autistic sons, 13 and 6. I don't believe you are being "selfish" by wanting to keep working. One of the most important things for all parents - but especially for parents like us - is to be kind to ourselves, give ourselves credit for all the things we do do (and not just feel guilt for all the things we don't do!) I have seen both working parents and stay-at-home parents with autistic kids, and I can't say there is any evidence that one group of kids does better than the other - they are all individuals. The important thing is to make sure he has good services, whether you are there or not. As with everything, there are pluses and minuses to every situation. On the one hand, being a working mom of a special needs kid is even more difficult logisitcally than being a working mom of a typcial kid. If you work, you will have even less flexibilty -that will be hardest on you. On the other hand, I find great comfort that there is something in my life that has nothing to do with autism. I go to the office, I do my job (expect for now, of course, when I am writing this :), and I interact with people on another level. It helps me have the mental and emotional energy to manage all the other complications in my life. If you stay home, you may put more stress on yourself trying to cure his autism 24/7. There is a limit to how many hours any parent OR kid can spend "working" on the autism - sometimes you just have to live your life. I don't believe we do our children any favors by passing our own obsession with "curing" them onto them. (Now I am sure I am going to get a lot of counter-responses from people who've "cured" their kids "working" with them round-the-clock. Fire away!) I also believe very strongly that we should strive to give our children lives that are as "normal" as possible within the context of their special needs. We should avoid the temptation to "hunker down" at home until their cured, although also give ourselves a break if we don't have the energy to drag them into situations that will be too stressful for the whole family. It is good for them to be around other kids in an environment that works for them. Everything is a balence. Whatever you decide, do what feels right for you and your family, and try as best as you can to leave the guilt and the "shoulds" out of it. Its a long road ahead with these kids. Whether you work or stay home, you will do everything you can for your child, as you would for a typcial child, and in his way your child will know you love him. PS My autistic kids have had school/sitters/day care from the beginning, and they happily push me out the door to work when a beloved sitter is around! ↑ |
| Name: vinod | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 11:47 AM |
| hi how ru ↑ |
