My boyfriend and i each have 3 children and we have dated for 2 1/2 years. We both have ex's to deal with but the problems really aren't coming from my ex. On the other hand his ex is constantly doing something to him causing us to have problems. She is constantly lying about everything. It doesn't matter how big or little it is she will lie about it. We are constantly having to watch our back never knowing what she is going to do next. This man is a nice guy and a great father and has treated me like no other man has ever done before. We have always thought that we were meant to be just because everything with our relationship has been so easy. We talk about everything, he listens to me, and does all the little things that most guys never do. From day one he has never been all about himself. This is the complete opposite of what i am used to. Everything between him and i are just fine. His kids love me and look to me as a mother figure in their lives and I love them like they are my own. We both have 50/50 custody of our kids with our ex's, and we pretty much have the same schedule with our kids. His ex was the reason for their divorce, she cheated and wanted out. Ever since their divorce she has gone down hill while he has bettered himself doing all that he can to keep his kids in a stable environment. Her on the other hand has done nothing with her life. She has moved several times. The kids on more than one occassion have been picked up from her with stained clothes, hair not brushed and a odor that we could never really put our finger on what it was. In the past couple of years we have had DCF called to investigate the living conditions of the children at her house. We had also heard from the kids that brown cigarettes are passed around, and in detail of how they make these cigarettes. The kids are very smart and they will tell you what they see. My BF has talked to her on numberous occassions where she denies any of it. We have picked up the kids at her house and their book bags have smelled like it. So after several attempts of talking her with no change in behavior we had DCF go out to check. We later found out that both her and her new husband were tested and failed their drug test. They had to take a parenting class of some sort. They accually cleaned up their act for about 8 months. we noticed a difference in the kids appearance and with their hygene. During that time she was accusing me of making the call to DCF. Shortly after the call I was accused of keying her car. She worked at one of the local malls and had just gotten a new vehicle. I had only seen it one time and only new the color. She had just started this job at the mall and i didn't really know exactly where she worked. One day my daughter and i went shopping and i saw a car in the parking lot that look kind of like hers. Being nosey i looked inside and walked around the vehicle to see if that was hers. My daughter was right there with me the whole time. Come to find out her vehicle was keyed that day, but she did not notice it until after she left and got home. They had cameras in the lot and were able to pull up still shots of me around the vehicle. She accused me right off the bat without even seeing a video or pictures. The cops came to my house to get my statement and because the pictures did not really show anything they did not arrest me. A couple of years later while at work. I was pulled into my supervisors office and was told that their was a warrant for my arrest and i needed to turn myself in. I am a government employee and i had to be taken away in hand cuffs in front of people i work with. I spent time in jail that day, My parents had to bail me out. My sick mother had to see her daughter walk out of jail. I have never been in trouble for anything in my life. While going through this process with the courts. She continued to create trouble by trying to get restraining orders against me using false information. All attempts of that were denied. She was in fear of her life. I also had my mother pass away during this time period. When it was all said and done i was given a not guilty verdict. Now my BF friend and i have now been living together with our children for 6 months now and I am now doubting what i should do.
I am affraid of what she will do next. I am going to take her to court over all of this so that she can pay for all of the lies she has told. So this is far from being over. I don't know if i can live my life like this. I am affraid that my kids might suffer in some way from her lies. My BF ensures me that nothing else is going to happen. I can't believe that. she lies so much she is capable of anything in my mind. Since the trial my BF has gone to her house and spoken to her face to face. She has always lied in letters and in emails but when confronted she has a hard time in person. I was told that she was in tears through the entire conversation. She apologized to him for all of this happening. She was listening to the cops and the state both of which said that I did it. She said that she doesn't want to fight anymore. there is not a day that goes by that when the doorbell rings that she doesn't think it is DCF at the door. She still is a very dirty person doesn't keep anything clean house is a mess all the time. I don't know what i should do. I was so in love with this man and it is not his fault that she is the way that she is. He says that she will not do anything again. I can't stand to look at her. I am so angry with all of this. I don't know if i can live like this anymore. This really stinks that you find true love knowing that the ex will always be around but that is the problem she will always be there. Can someone give me some advice on my situation PLEASE! ↓
|
