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This may be a little off topic, but I need some advice from some people on the outside. Here's my situation.....we had a get together at our house this past weekend for a football game. Two of my best friends were there amongst these people. Although they are my best friends. neither one of them really hang out except when we have get togethers like this. Best friend A has been in a relationship with her guy for 5 years and going strong and Best friend B is newly divorced and is a single mom(second divorce, child is from first marriage) So here's my dilemma.....after the game was over, some people left and a few stayed to play cards. Best friend A decided after a while that she was tired and was gonna go home and to call her when her man was ready to go(they only live a couple of miles away.) So that left my husband and I, Best friend A's man, Best friend B and another friend whom eventually left. Then my hubby decided to hit the sack and then that left me, Best friend B and Best frined A's man. I noticed that they were sort of flirting and at one point said."You two need to back off. " I then suggested it was time to call my Bestf riend A to come get her man. I told him to call her and then I went to work in the litchen cleaning up from the night. As I did this, I heard Best friend B on the phone with Best friend A! I was like,WHAT?! I heard her tell her that she would bring him home and would be there shortly. Okay to make a long story short, I went to bed, best friend B left with A's man to take him home. Got a call 20 minutes later from A asking if they'd left yet. I said yes, 20 minutes ago. She said they hadn't gotten there yet. I instantly felt sick. I called b on her cell to find out what was happening. She said she got lost! We all know that is a little off. She's been to where she was going quite a few times! but none the less I called B back and told her. They got there about 5 minutes later. I thought maybe she really did get lost so I decided to leave it at that. Well this morning I got in my car to go somehwere(they had taken my car that night and I hadn't driven it since then) and noticed the passenger seat was way back and that there were hand prints and smudges on my windsheild! I AM COMPLETELY APOLLED! Now I feel like even though I haven't been told, I have a good idea of what happened. I don't even want to confront friend B because I didn't think she would ever stoop that low! But I feel HORRIBLE for my other best friend whom doesn't know anything, really, and I don't want to really know either because I would HAVE to tell her! She would do then same for me and if I did know FOR SURE what happened and didnt tell her she would forever hate me and our friendship would be OVER!!! What should I do? Do I tell her what I suspect? Or do I let it lie where it is and pretend I never suspected a thing(even though I do!) AHHHH!!!!! This isn't fair! Why did they have to act so irresponsibly, or did they? ↓
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| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 1:10 AM |
| Hi billy22----Wow, what a situation!! First off, I would say something to Bestfriend B. I would say something to her about noticing that your car passenger's seat was all the way down with hand prints and smudges on the windows. See what she says about it. Then, if she doesn't come right out and admit something to you, just come right out and ask her if something happened between the two of them. If she denies it then you really can't persue it anymore with her. Then, I would speak with Bestfriend A's man and tell him about what you noticed in your car. See what he says. If he denies it then you can explain to him that something doesn't seem right to you about the whole situation especially when his girlfriend (one of your best friends) was calling your house wondering where her man is! Hopefully, one of the two will speak up about it. However, either way you look at it, your bestfriend A is going to get hurt. Honestly, you wouldn't want your man cheating on you and ask yourself if you would want your bestfriend to come forward and tell you if she knew something about your man. As a friend, I would feel obligated to say something to friend A about it if the man A and bestfriend B didn't make their own confessions. I hate to say this but if you do come forward, you will probably lose a friendship over it. Bestfriend B will be hurt and upset. My bestfriend said something to me about my husband and a good friend fooling around in her bedroom at her party. Yet, when I asked both of them about it, they both denied it. However, ex husband has done this one too many times to me that it took me awhile to catch on to his b.s. So, I was thankful that my friend told me what she saw and heard. But, it was hard to do anything about it because they both denied it and I wasn't the one catching them in the any acts. At the time it was only a kiss and she asked him to climb into to bed but that's when my bestfriend walked in on them. So, nothing really happened but there were other encounters in the past that happened that it all makes sense now. Hind site is 20/20. I wish you luck in what you do but I certainly would say something to the both of them. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Nov 28th, 2006 3:23 AM |
| Thanks Tweety~ So before I got any replies on here I couldn't stand it any more and I had to say something to Best friend A. She was crushed of course and said she would confront the two of them seperatly. Best friend B wouldn't answer her phone, but Best friend A's man said nothing happened and that he was "too drunk to remember" if anything happened. I recieved an email from Friend B a little while later that day and she then IM'd me. She admitted that she had tried to make the moves on him, but then realized what she was doing and stopped. She took full responsibility for EVERYTHING and feels horrible about it. So I guess only time will tell how things will end up. BEst friend A and her man are going to be stronger from this and Best friend B is going to be beating herself up for it for a long time. This isn't the first time Best friend B has done something like this. She definetly has a problem and now she feels like she can admit it. I truely hope she means it. I am still going to be here for the both of them and they both know that....they also both feel bad that I had to be put in the middle. I hope I am never faced with something like this again! It was AWEFUL! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 3:12 AM |
| Hi billy22---I'm glad you told Bestfried A. I would have, too. However, I still don't buy the nothing happened sort of thing. The hand prints on the windshield are just too obvious. Plus, the bestfriend A's man couldn't have been that drunk if he knew she was driving him home. The only way he wouldn't remember is if he was passed out or blacked out which I doubt happened. Also, if bestfriend B feels so quilty it sounds like more happened than just flirting. Either way, they both were wrong and it's up to bestfriend A to make her decisions. At least now, your not stuck right in the middle worrying. Let me know how things turn out. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:01 AM |
| Tweey~ Thanks for the imput. So Best friend A is buying the man's story and they are getting over it. Best friend B is beating herself up for it. But not that much. Like I said, this wasn't the first time Best friend B has done something like this.....so I guess we'll just see what happens. She has started hangin out with a couple of "new" friends and drinks A LOT with one of them...so I really think she is gonna end up messing up again only next time I'm afraid it will be with someone not quite as forgiving:( ↑ |
| Name: JESSE | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 4:08 AM |
| I would think the same thing happened that you thought. I can't believe they were so blatent about it. The one rule that I have always gone by is to "help" my friend that has been wronged to find out the truth on her own. How can A's husband allow friend B to get lost. I am sure friend A has to suspect something. Chances are, that won't be the last time either. I feel so bad for you and friend A. As far as friend B goes, I would have to end my friendship with her for putting you in such a bad predicament. I would talk to friend A and try to get her to open up to you about whether or not she thought it was odd they "got lost". Unfortunately people tend to shoot the messenger. I wouldn't tell her anything about the car, it would hurt her too much and she might think you are starting trouble. You don't have any proof, just speculation. Be careful. Good luck and please keep me posted. ↑ |
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