My step daughter (12) found( actually was snooping in her mothers thing and went in to the enveolp & opend a letter address to Greg).
Greg is Married with 2 kids and they all use to vist with her mother.Now only Greg visits every night from 9pm-1am. They had affari years ago before John and her were married.
She already told my Husband t& old us not to tell her Mom. My husband agreed ( not happy about that another story later) She said would get in bug trouble for getting into her moms things ( nothing new there) .
She read the letter.
She said that it said theat her mom wrote that she loved him and she wanted him to spank her and all sors of sexual things. She said her mother is doing a bad thing and she is very up set with her.
I di my best to explain that yes if the not is real and her mother was not kidding aound with her friend.That no one should date or be with anyones belses boyfriend or husband and that I was glad that she new it was wrong.
Then she asked me why does my Mon take a shower before greg comes over and then again when he goes.I just saifd maybe she wanted the hot water on her back and or maybe she likes shower . I take a few a day in the summer 'cause I am hot. She said "i do not think so ' I asked well what do you think it is then ....She said I do not know.
I am at a lose of what to tell her .
I do think this need to be address withthe Mother But My husband promissed His daughter and we want her to be ablt to come top us for things. ? ↓
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| Name: Serina S | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 6:11 PM |
| Anyone have any advise??? ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 11:39 PM |
| That's really a tough one and I'm not sure what advice to give because if you say something to her mom then she gets in trouble so it's kinda like you have to keep the secret and not get involved. But,if it does continue to be a problem where the girl is still complaining about it and it really bothers her so much,then I think with her permission of course you need to bring it out in the open with her mother. ↑ |
| Name: Serina | Date: Aug 26th, 2006 12:06 AM |
| Thank you Lizzi. Yea I guess I am stuck between an rock and a hard place. It rotts! ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Aug 26th, 2006 1:28 PM |
| Oh boy, what an ordeal. Well, at risk of not getting the daughter in trouble with her mother, I don't think I would say anything to the mother. Although, I would tell that daughter that she shouldn't have been snooping but sometimes grown ups do silly things. Sometimes, we don't always make the right decisions. Commending her that she knew what her mom was doing was wrong was a good idea. Keep explaining to her that grown ups don't always do the right thing but you and your husband are trying to teach her the right examples. For example: If she sees a parent smoke cigarettes doesn't mean she should do it. Also, I believe the mother will take an offense if you say something to her about the situation. Her feathers will get ruffled if you know anything about her business. That is something I would be careful about saying anything. Yes, what the mom is doing is wrong but explain to the child that she shouldn't keep snooping. However, with this Greg guy coming over at 9-1, maybe you can have the daughter ask her mom why he comes over? I'm assuming that the mom expects the daughter to be in bed sleeping while he comes over? This way she can say something to the mom about the issue right when it happens. Tell her not to say anything about the note. Although, you teaching her to keep a secret but you don't want her to get into trouble. You can explain to her that it's ok to ask her mom these kinds of questions. Then perhaps the mom will change her ways?? Doubt it though. Obviously, she enjoys this man coming over even though he's married. I don't know if the advice will work but at least you can give it a try. Keep me posted. ↑ |
| Name: Serina | Date: Aug 26th, 2006 2:08 PM |
Thanks PJ
Well I am glad to hear that I did ok. I did tell her not to snoop.I even broght up her Diary as an example. I said what if her brother read it . Well she said she would not like that at all . So think od all your mothers things as her Diary. I think she gets it now. But I kow that she well most likely snoop again.Esp since she found out some info on her mother & Greg.
She ghas asked about Greg many times and just says,He is her friend.I& that it is none of her business.
Thank you so much for you help You are always so smart and helpful!!!
All my best!! ↑ |
| Name: Stcey | Date: Sep 5th, 2006 1:40 PM |
| Name: pam | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 5:30 PM |
| its really great that your stepdaughter can come to you for advice, you really dont know how lucky you are as mine has never given me a chance , even after 3 years. Its very painful to me. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 3:02 PM |
Well my step daught was snooping on her mothers computer and found some photos of her having sex with Greg. She does not want me to tell her Mom 'cause she will get in big trouble... Well I got her to tell her dad but he promised not to dsay anything.
I do not know I just think this should be confronted head on.Yeas she was wrong going in to folders thatwas none of her business but her mother should know better..this is what kids doo snoop. If she goes on the compute she needs to be watched..esp since she has those kinds of things on the computer ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 4:44 PM |
| WOW! that really sucks! First of all I would explain how wrong it was for the duaghter to be going through her Mom's things...but the computer thing is a different story. Her mom should know better than to put things on there that she knows can be accessed easily. Anyway, since your husband promised not to tell maybe you should talk to her Mom. It doesn't have to be an angry thing, just let her know that she is aware of the affair and that she is upset and is afraid to talk to her about it. Sound like it's not a great plce for her to be right now...do you and her Dad have custody or visitation? ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Nov 16th, 2006 12:38 AM |
We get the kids every weekend and once in a while during the week.
My hands I now realize are tied.. Since my husband will not bring this up to the ex.. man it is frustrating!!!!
Yeah I already did tell Samantha she knows better them to go in to her mothers thing and she should never go on the computer unless someone is with her]
Thanks bill for you help! ↑ |
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